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What's going on...? (me and my ex)

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Me and my ex get along pretty well which probably is aided by the fact that our break up was mutual and "clean" I guess you would call it (no fighting or disagreements, we just didn't feel the same way about each other anymore...) Our conversations, however, are hit or miss.

Sometimes, typically within school or around his new girlfriend, he seems nervous when we are talking. It seems as though he just wants to end the conversation immediately and leave the situation.


Other times, like when we're hanging out outside school or we're alone, we seem to interact just like old times--like before we were going out. He seems truly interested with what I have to say and is very open about what's going on in his life.


It is the same way if we are talking online, he even typically ends with the conversation saying that he was glad that we got to talk.


This confuses me a lot. I know its going to take a while for things to get back to "normal" and they might not even return to exactly as they were, but it seems like we're pretty cool with each other.


The only time he really seems awkward with me is when we're with people other than our mutual friends who we had before we started going out.

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he will be more honest on the internet than he will in person.


in person feelings and emotions drive a conversation.

on the internet, its your head doing the thinking, and you can express your true intentions easier, and say things that you would be embarressed to in person.


highschool relationships never work out overly well after break ups. unless there is 0 feelings between you. - it gets easier the longer you are apart. and esp if you have both move on.

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it might be that when there are other people around he is unsure if either you or him might say or do something that could be considered more than just friendship by other people.


since you are saying that the separation was amicable I imagine that when it's just the two of you you are continuing to converse in the kind of intimate/close way that you develop in a relationship (him finishing your sentences, you finishing his; you knowing immediately what he is talking about before anyone else can ....).


it might just take some time for you both to know/ relearn how to communicate when others are around.


another thing why he might be awkward (this is all just guesswork on my part) is that since you were he gf you know a lot more thing about him than most of his close friends. since now you are not the gf anymore, maybe he is afraid you might spill something that he doesn't want others to know (could be totally by accident of course), because you are not a unit anymore??

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That's funny, because that's exactly what would happen with my ex and me. We still saw each other all the time, but I never knew what to expect by way of conversation. Sometimes we were really friendly and easygoing, and other times I was speechless and literally had nothing to say to him, or him to me. Our breakup was very clean as well.


I imagine there's still some residual feelings, enhanced by the fact that the breakup was clean and that you CAN still hang out and talk comfortably. It's confusing because you know the patterns of the old relationship, and haven't quite gotten into a new pattern that involves just being friends and not physically intimate.


He does have a girlfriend though, which means that you two won't be getting back together. It does mean that there are new boundaries, and he might feel a bit guilty about talking with his ex (you).

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