speending time together not good?

[subliminal7]

So i've been with my girl for about two and a half months now and everyhting is great. she is everything i have ever dreamed of and according to her, she feels the same way about me.

 

Lately we've seen eachother every day for at least 3 weeks or so and both her parents and mine have said that us spending as much time together as do isnt good.

 

She tells me that she could never get tired of being with me and wants to chill with me every possible day, and i feel the same exact way about her. But i can't help but feel like our parents are right.

 

What is everyones opinions on this?

[JeckyllNHyde]

i dont think they're right. maybe they just mean u guys spending so much time together already is leaving little time for other activities in your life like spending time with your family, doing chores or helping out, homework and such.

but for the relationship? if you guys aren't fighting or getting annoyed at each other after spending time together everyday, so early in the relationship then why change? for some couples it works, for some it doesn't. if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Xplode]

ok, im 21. so im assuming your somewhere under 18.

and yes thats cool, iv been there. hell most of us have been there, my advise thou is. after 2 and a 1/2 moths (if your counting half months then you must feel like you have been together for ages!)

 

then i dont think you can get sick of someone, but it sets up bad habits. its easy to move on from a fight when you see them daily, and crave there attention. and then all of the sudden 4 day break. you miss eachother so much you move past vital points of why your fighting.

 

my brother went like this. 1 month into new relationship. he is 22. and she was over every day of the week.

 

1. You will lose friends...

2. You will diminish a social life... and at the time your probably like i dont want to go out etc. there is no point.

 

think big picture. i try to see my g/f 2-4 times a week. that way my friends still can call me. otherwise they will be all like " dont bother calling Johnno hes busy with his missus"

and you will be excluded and fall into that catagory "not getting a call to go out"

and when your young. girls will come and go. the one or not. you need friends in your life.

 

i lost most of my highschool mates to my first girlfriend. 17-19. about a year and a half. i had to re-establish myself with only a few friends to support me.

learned from that mistake.. and now make time for those who make time for me.

 

Hope there is some inspirational words in there for ya.

peace

[_Asti_]

Well, how are things in your life otherwise going?

Are you neglecting other things, peoples [family & friends], hobbies, school, work, etc?

 

I think when people say its not a good idea is because basically a relationship should be a part of your life, not your life. And if this is the direction the relationship is heading, you may start to let other things slip and get neglected in favour of your relationship.

 

Not just that, but for some couples, spending too much time together can actually create a reverse effect, and cause problems. You may not see this now as its only just the beginning of the relationship, but in time it just may.

 

Plus, distance is great for a relationship. The old saying "Absense makes the heart grow fonder" really is true. When you spend time alone and with other people and your hobbies and spend a day or two apart during the week, you stay connected with yourself and in touch with yourself, but still create that desire for the other person, and in the long run, you want that component still active.

 

I like the analogy of fire. Smother it and it goes out, give it space and oxygen and it can really take off. Think about it. People generally offer advice and words of wisdom from experience. They aren't telling you these things to keep the two of you apart, they are doing it to help the two of you out long term.

[JeckyllNHyde]

some really good posts and insight.^^^^^

[subliminal7]

im actually 18 haha, I just count half months just to give ya'll a good idea of things. Everyone that talks to us says that it seems like we've been together alot longer than that.

 

It's not affecting my relationship with my family at all because usually i would either be in my room or out smoking with my buddies. And if anything, it is better for me to chill with her and not with my friends. Right now, since its winter, the only thing me and my friends do are sit in a house and toke. The sad thing is, almost everyone one of my friends has dropped out of highschool, is deep into drugs, or just are like me and sit around and toke in their free time. im also trying to quit cigs so she in reality is my "anti drug". Come spring/summer, i'll be chillin with my friends alot more cause we can enjoy the outdoors. School is fine, straight A's this quarter for the first time ever.

 

I guess the only problem i have with spending time apart is what to do to keep me occupied. My main hobbie i cant do cause it is winter and am trying to get a car. so all i have to do is either chill at my buddies house and bask in smoke or stay home.

[jettison]

They're right, but at your age it's almost impossible to police this. Neither of you are likely to be mature enough to hold back and purposely not see each other just to preserve your future relationship. Even much older couples usually suck at this.

 

thereforee, even if your parents are right, it makes little difference. You will see each other when you see each other, and that's about that. If it was meant to be then it will last anyway.

[ghost69]

i used to see an ex everyday. all of our free time we were together. i was around your age too. we lasted 4.5 years and only broke up due to us drifting apart.

[subliminal7]

i used to see an ex everyday. all of our free time we were together. i was around your age too. we lasted 4.5 years and only broke up due to us drifting apart.

 

Could you elaborate on drifting apart?