Opinions Needed

[De Mon Fa De]

This is a continuation of this post that I posted kinda early this morning.

 

If you could do anything, right now, get out of your house and buy a _____ (enter whatever you want here) and just GO, where would you go and what would you do.

 

Inside or outside the USA, but inside is more likely to actually happen. My budget is $2500/month. Would you collect bubble gum? Drink a beer in every state? As long as I can afford it, I'm open to just about any suggestion.

 

Don't worry about what I like; I know what I like and I'm tired of it. I want to know what you like so I can force myself to take a risk and try something new and get the heck out of this place I'm in that I hate.

 

Please help; I don't have anyone else to ask, and I've asked on other forums w/no luck.

 

Thanks for your time.

 

Chris

[Seymore]

I had this same question in my head since my breakup, and I'm going to do one of these this year. One is drive out to Santa Monica/Los Angeles from Chicago, by myself and just for the hell of it, and spend a week checking things out. The other is to fly to Europe to see my family whom I haven't visited in 9 years.

[dstein]

Seymore: It's beautiful here in L.A.! It's 83 degrees right now. I'm about 3 blocks from the Pacific. Do it!

 

I would drive all the way up Highway 1 which is ASTONISHINGLY beautiful all the way to Canada. I would go to Vietnam or Bali where I could live for $100/week...I would run off to Greece...I would drive accross country and see where I could imagine myself living and I would move there when I found it...I have kids so my fantasies are limited right now.

 

How old are you, and are you job-restricted? Just curious.

[waveseer]

I would surf every spot on the continent and then in the world.

[Seymore]

Seymore: It's beautiful here in L.A.! It's 83 degrees right now. I'm about 3 blocks from the Pacific. Do it!

 

Don't tease me yet. It's been -7 degrees here all day today, lol. But you may get a PM from me in the next couple of months asking about all the great places down there.

[De Mon Fa De]

Thanks for the responses

 

How old are you, and are you job-restricted? Just curious.

 

I think I'm still 30 (counting... 78... 79... yeah, 30). I'm a disabled vet so I'm not restricted by job. I'm get a lot of anxiety around crowds and loud noises after leaving the military, but I'm trying to face it.

[dstein]

don't tease me yet. It's been -7 degrees here all day today, lol. But you may get a pm from me in the next couple of months asking about all the great places down there.

absolutely!

[dstein]

Chris,

 

I just read your original post and there was a lot of info in there I was unaware of when I responded.

 

I am wondering if you had considered (please don't take this wrong) doing a retreat of sorts, spending a month or even longer in a place like Hazelden or The Meadows, where you can get some peace and counseling and take care of your mind and body for some period of time...a place that you can get some clarity about your life and all of the complicated components. It sounds like you have been through A LOT, and I'm wondering how much time you've allowed yourself to REALLY process all of the loss that you have clearly experienced, not to mention the physical issues...all of your life experiences thus far sound so painful. I would guess there is a lot of untapped grief, anger, sadness in there that is making you feel crazy.

 

Maybe it isn't RUNNING AWAY, but FINDING YOURSELF that you are desperately needing...

[De Mon Fa De]

I am wondering if you had considered (please don't take this wrong) doing a retreat of sorts, spending a month or even longer in a place like Hazelden or The Meadows, where you can get some peace and counseling and take care of your mind and body for some period of time...a place that you can get some clarity about your life and all of the complicated components. It sounds like you have been through A LOT, and I'm wondering how much time you've allowed yourself to REALLY process all of the loss that you have clearly experienced, not to mention the physical issues...all of your life experiences thus far sound so painful. I would guess there is a lot of untapped grief, anger, sadness in there that is making you feel crazy.

 

Maybe it isn't RUNNING AWAY, but FINDING YOURSELF that you are desperately needing...

 

You are dead on. I hope by doing this I find a place to belong.

 

I've been to some of those community places. The nicest was Father Martins Ashley. Nice place. Beautiful view. Not right for me tho.

 

I am usually ok. I have a cheerful disposition. I'm generous and I don't expect anything beyond politeness from people, so I actually make friends easily.

 

One day I will have an opportunity to deal with the pain. The thing is, by not dealing with it, I'm living a semi-comfortable life. Before my wife came back, I was happy. If I confront it and fail, I could end up back in some institution, and I'll pass on that. Forever. I would prefer death to being locked up again; if the military hadn't put me in a similar situation I don't believe any of my latent problems would have flared up so fiercely.

 

I'm disappointed less people are responding... it seems like such a simple question.

[De Mon Fa De]

Maybe I should rephrase it and spin it in a positive light?

[Seymore]

I thought it was presented well. I'm surprised more people haven't responded, either. It was a very thought-provoking question.

 

I also think that if I hadn't thought that question myself a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have answered because, well...it seems like a tougher question than it is. It's like saying if you had $100, what would you do? Takes a bit of thought. "I'd do this...wait, no. This....wait, no..."

 

Plus, you have to remember that a lot of people here are focused on themselves as it stands - what do they do in this or that situation, how do they confront this/that? I think a lot of the people here are self-absorbed right now. I don't mean that in a bad way, either, to be fair. I think they're worrying about a bunch of other things, when in fact, a lot of them could stand to think about things like this, and DO them.

 

I seriously don't mean any offense to anyone by saying that.

[De Mon Fa De]

I thought it was presented well. I'm surprised more people haven't responded, either. It was a very thought-provoking question.

 

I also think that if I hadn't thought that question myself a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have answered because, well...it seems like a tougher question than it is. It's like saying if you had $100, what would you do? Takes a bit of thought. "I'd do this...wait, no. This....wait, no..."

 

There most common answer I've gotten involves a vehicle and the open road. I'm not exactly sure how nice a vehicle I could afford, but I'm sure it would at least get me where I needed to be.

 

Plus, you have to remember that a lot of people here are focused on themselves as it stands - what do they do in this or that situation, how do they confront this/that? I think a lot of the people here are self-absorbed right now. I don't mean that in a bad way, either, to be fair. I think they're worrying about a bunch of other things, when in fact, a lot of them could stand to think about things like this, and DO them.

 

That's to be expected, no worries. I took a few minutes earlier and tried to help answer a few other peoples questions.

 

I look at life as a puzzle with definite solutions; I get impatient when I can't find "the right path" quickly.

[Seymore]

There most common answer I've gotten involves a vehicle and the open road. I'm not exactly sure how nice a vehicle I could afford, but I'm sure it would at least get me where I needed to be.

 

Or take a train, or a bus...a friend of mine used to just take a Greyhound wherever. I think the reason most people say the open road or driving to a new place is because just being in a different place away from everything can be therapeutic, almost like living outside of your own life.

 

I lived in the same city all my life. Never really left it. When I was with my ex, she wanted to take a road trip. We hit 10 states in as many days. I remembered during the trip when she'd have an attitude and just be plain unpleasant to be around, I would think to myself "It would be nice to just camp out alone or be here alone, without the conflict". But just seeing other parts of the country - it was like I was in a different world, almost. Meeting people from other walks of life who speak differently, think differently...it was really nice.