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Q about online dating match


LAYAAN
3 ways to respond to an offer
3 ways to respond to an offer

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Hello all,

I'm matched with this man. He is 8 yrs older than me, 10 hrs drive distance away.

- We made it to open communication----he gave me his email ID---I emailed him --- he replied to that email after a week n asked some simple Qs --- I replied right away (on Sun) --- I still haven't heard from him.

 

How do you handle this? when do you say, "look if you don't step up, its over"? When do you say, "thats it I'm not gonna give this man another chance." Should I email him and ask "wats going on?"" (I did it with a man before (matched with me on EH), he said "oh, we just fell out of touch" and we did meet but he acted very distant on our date and very quickly vanished. So, I'm not really in favor of asking men wats going on/nudging them)

What can be done in this situation?

 

Thank you

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Since he is ten hours away look at it like this- if it did progress to something serious and became a Long Distance Relationship - LDR's take a lot of communication to stay strong. If he cannot communicate enough this early to make interest known he might not be the best candidate for you to talk to.

 

Why are you choosing men so many hours away in your searches on dating profiles? Are there other options/men closer?

 

I would not have even corresponded with someone ten hours away unless i lived in a region where there were no options, just a sidenote.

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I'm matched with him on EH.

The reason I said okay is b'coz my preference is south Asian men and my experience has been that they are more sincere even if its a long distance relationship.

 

Then go ahead and contact him. May be he was super busy.

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I'm thinking of emailing him before closing the match.

I'm thinking of writing in my email that "Your delay in replying and brief questions have made me wonder about your level of interest in this match. I would be more interested in receiving replies in decent time and getting to know each other better. If age/distance is an issue, I understand and I sincerely wish you good luck. The match on EH will be closed soon since we are already communicating outside EH."

What do you say? Can I write this to him?

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I'm thinking of emailing him before closing the match.

I'm thinking of writing in my email that "Your delay in replying and brief questions have made me wonder about your level of interest in this match. I would be more interested in receiving replies in decent time and getting to know each other better. If age/distance is an issue, I understand and I sincerely wish you good luck. The match on EH will be closed soon since we are already communicating outside EH."

What do you say? Can I write this to him?

 

i think this is a good message... i would not include the last line.. except that the rest of the message looks great.

 

how does he look like? is he attractive? do you go for tall men? what are your preferences in a man?

 

the reason i ask is if you met a man suiting your preferences there is little more u could do

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Your message to him sounds fine to me.

 

Doubt I would bother either and because he took a week to reply.

 

How the heck are you supposed to get to know someone, if people don't and aren't communicating on a regular basis....and I would like to know a little about someone, before I went off to meet them.

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Your message to him sounds fine to me.

Doubt I would bother either and because he took a week to reply.

How the heck are you supposed to get to know someone, if people don't and aren't communicating on a regular basis....and I would like to know a little about someone, before I went off to meet them.

Yes, so, I am gonna send him this email today, wait for 2-3 days, if he responds, great, if he doesnt, I'm gonna close the match.

I agree, if people are not communicating regularly, progress is almost impossible given the issue of long distance.

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Since he is ten hours away look at it like this- if it did progress to something serious and became a Long Distance Relationship - LDR's take a lot of communication to stay strong. If he cannot communicate enough this early to make interest known he might not be the best candidate for you to talk to. I think this makes sense.

Why are you choosing men so many hours away in your searches on dating profiles? Are there other options/men closer? My preference is South Asian men. Yes, I would prefer if they are closer to me, certainly. But just b'coz the man is far away doesn't mean that he is not a good match. So, I give them a chance. But yes, its possible to apply strict distance criteria and keep waiting for eternity for a good guy to show up, I guess.

I would not have even corresponded with someone ten hours away unless i lived in a region where there were no options, just a sidenote. someone on ENA, who lives in my area as well, shared with me the other day that "this area is a dating pond." so the choice is obviously not much.

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10 hours may sound like cake when you think about people in much bigger LDR's but take it from someone who's girlfriend used to live 3 hours away - its a LOT harder than it seems. 3 hours there is 6 hours to get back home again. 3 hours in a car is LOOOOOOONG time, 10 hours is going to leave you drained when you do see him and the 10 hour drive back again is going to leave you not only exhausted but unsatisfied because of the very little amount of time together you'd actually get.

 

48 hour weekend:

 

20 hour round trip

16 hours sleep

12 hours together

 

Not very much.

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Since he is ten hours away look at it like this- if it did progress to something serious and became a Long Distance Relationship - LDR's take a lot of communication to stay strong. If he cannot communicate enough this early to make interest known he might not be the best candidate for you to talk to.

 

So true.

 

He's hardly putting in any effort now...he's hardly LDR material.

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