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Roomate advice


coldplay.

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My roomate is about seven years older than i am, a law school graduate and a professional.

 

We really dont get along to be honest.

 

Apparently i have a problem of not shutting the door the whole way. Ive never had a problem like this before, the door is difficult to shut. But ive been making conscious efforts to fix this behavior but every time i do hes getting increasing more hostile. He also yelled at me about the dishes, we have a dishwasher, it seems common sense to wash the dishes when the dishwasher is full to save water ect. I do the dishes about once every three days or when its full. He starts saying that i do them every three weeks and that hes disgusted when he opens the dishwasher and sees dishes there, and i have no idea what hes talking about.

 

The reason im concerned is because of how hostile he is, he goes on for like 15 fifteen minutes ranting, and those are like the only dialogues we have. We dont really talk outside of those. Its starting to make me really uncomfortable living here.

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Living with someone is one of the quickest ways of making an enemy I know of.

 

I'm sorry I don't have any useful advice. Trying to restore effective communication is of course key, but how you do that with a law student who's obviously a type A personality is outside the scope of my life experience lol.

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I had to live in a SMALL dorm room for 3 years with Different guys, that all had different Ideas on what should and shouldnt be done, I feel your pain.

 

Basically when I got a new roomie I would ask them to sit down with me and lets discuss some rules. I would ask them to make a list of things they expected and I would make a list of things I expected.

 

Things like, if I am going to bed please try and be quiet and considerate (I had early classes he didnt)

 

If you use the bathroom sink please clean up your mess if you make one

During the week please dont throw a party in the room and get a bunch of people in here, I have to study etc...Unless they were girls and cute then bring em on, who needs to study...

 

We would do this and usually unless the guy was a jerk, or just too damn dumb to abide by these rules (and I was never demanding and usually they werent either) we got along fine, and I made some lasting friends as well..

 

Being that he is older than you he was brought up in a different manner. So I would say you and him REALLY need to do something like this. If you try and he refuses to meet you halfway on the whole situation, talk to your housing department (You didnt say whether you lived on campus or off) and see if you can move out into another housing unit.

 

If you live off campus find you a suitable place to live and move out. Some people just cant be made happy unless everything is done their way.

 

Hope this helps

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honestly, i'd keep living the way you are.

 

 

me:

 

i'd keep the door wide open and let the dishes pile up. then i'd tell him to go ____ himself if he had a problem with it, because they were at least getting done before. also, i'd tell him to keep cryin cause i don't listen to schoolgirls.

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I don't think his attitude is very nice, but I agree with him about the dishwasher. There is nothing grosser than opening the dishwasher and having it smell to high heavens from old food. Wash the dishes every day. You won't use that much water and it is far better than hearing this guy go on. The door thing is just odd.

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What is it with the lawyers? I live with a 3rd year law student who is as rude as can possibly be. She constantly leaves mess all over the kitchen and doesn't even say thank you when I clean up. Then when I do the slightest thing wrong (ie. forgetting to buy paper towels) she fights up a storm. I also remember my ex used to live with a law student and she was an absolute b****.

 

I've promised myself that once my lease is over, I'm NEVER living with a law student again.

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Shut your door, or get it fixed... or tell him to eat crap its your door you can leave it open if you want.

 

As for the dishes, write it down every time you do them. Or tell him instead of wasting 15 minutes ranting about the dishwasher to just do them himself. by the time hes done with ranting the dishes could have been washed instead. Is he handicapped? unable to turn a knob on the dishwashing machine? Probably not.

 

In the meantime start looking for a roomate that isnt a jacka$$

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If the dishes are one of the main issues... this is what I had to do with my old roommate...

 

Wash ALL of your dishes right after using them. Do it by hand if need-be, it's not a big deal. Then, when he gets pissy about the dishwasher, point out that NONE of the dishes are yours and then he'll have nothing else to say. Worked for me.

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I usually run the dishwasher every couple of days once it is full. I never thought this was weird. I could understand it being a problem if you were leaving dishes in the sink, but it doesn't sound like you are. I suppose if the dishwasher is left full for days with dirty dishes, then yes that's a problem. Just run it every couple of days, or as soon as it is full, not a big deal. You don't want to waste water but you also don't want dirty dishes sitting around in there either.

 

Does he not know how to turn a switch to turn the dishwasher on? If he sees it's full and dirty why can't he turn it on

 

If you have a binding lease, you could always find someone to sublet if you want to move out asap.

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