Mission of the day: Forgive yourself and your ex

[julioiglesia]

Hey Ena folks. I know you guys are looking for advice so here we go...

 

All of us here are going through heartbreaks. I presume the majority of us are the dumpee and want to know what to make of this sudden or prolonged break up. We tend to look back and agonize through every little mistake you "the dumpee" made that triggered a chain reaction that led the "dumper" to suddenly transform you into the Ex you are today.

 

That agony of defeat eat us away every single day as we reminice the good old time that we all shared with our exes. Eating away our self esteem, health, and everything that we once took for granted and continue this self mutilating process that we are not good enough that led to this break up.

 

Whatever led to the break up, both the dumpee and dumper contributed somehow to the demise. So let's don't be too hard on yourselves and let's stop this madness.

 

As a dumpee, I know I had issues with my current ex(who doesnt) but what good might I gain if I just dwell in this solitude confinement self mental mutilating and hating myself for causing this break up? There is no use and pointless.

The battle might be lost but we must continue because the Life aint over yet This Life with its everyday struggles both physical and mental but mostly mental because of the way we think badly of ourselves.

 

 

As the dumper, my ex used to love me. I know she tried hard to keep this relationship work too but I am sure along the way she gave up and wanted to get out of this and admit that she doesn't want to string me along.

She might have said "I love you" to someone so quickly after the break up and I might have hated her but there is no use and it is pointless to hate anymore. She gave me the heads up and broke up with me because i deserved better and she deserved better and we were both lost so why hate. I forgive because hating will lead to more hate and will not solve anything in this world.

 

We welcomed Love

We embraced Love

We fought for Love

We let go of Love

Love will come again for those who deserves and are ready for it.

Until that day, I must love myself each and everyday .

 

[Loki71]

If I was able to forgive then she wouldn't be my ex.

[thejigsup]

I used to have problems forgiving, and then I realized I was hurting any emotional growth or healing I might have gone through. I matured after awhile and learned to forgive, totally. I don't forget, and I'm not an advocate of getting back together once it's broken, but forgiveness has made me a much more mature, focused person. The Eagles had a song called "The Heart of the Matter", which states my case perfectly.

[yankeefan74]

Not to nitpick, but "The Heart of the Matter" is a song Henley wrote and recorded as a solo artist.

 

Regardless, you're right, it's a great song about forgiveness...about how life goes on, and carrying around anger will tear you apart.

[HulloThere]

my thoughts exactly. if the relationship doesn't work out, it is not the other person's fault that they don't want to be with you anymore. Any of us could find ourselves in either position and neither are wrong.

[De Mon Fa De]

Forgiveness? THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAA!!!!!

 

Seriously tho, I have spent the years I've been with my wife trying to forgive her for having the baby in the first place.

 

What a horrible thing to say. I feel kinda icky now. But that's how it is.

 

If you asked, "do you blame her" I'd say no, but if you set it up to "assuming you blame her, do you forgive her?" then I'd still have to say no; forgiveness implies to me that I'd consider a relationship with her, which opens me up to being hurt again.

 

It's a mental technicality, but I'm logic-driven and that's just how I think.

[Seymore]

forgiveness implies to me that I'd consider a relationship with her, which opens me up to being hurt again.

 

That's exactly how I feel. She kept asking for forgiveness, but I know if I did that, she'd try to get back together, taking it as an entryway to reconciliation.

 

She needs help. Part of me wants to forgive her because something is wrong with her and it's not totally her fault, but she acted knowingly when she said and did the nasty things she did, so I don't want to forgive her. But whether I do or don't, I don't want to reconcile.