just... breathe.

[zenbabyk]

I finally called it quits.

I can't do this to myself anymore.

 

I had to pack up his things into a duffel bag he left me.

In went his pillow,

in went his sweatshirt,

... next came his cologne,

the teddybear he gave me,

and finally the letter he wrote me before he got on the plane.

 

out of sight...out of mind

 

 

& then I wrote him an e-mail, explaining how I felt, which was really painful. I don't want to say goodbye, but my spirit is dying because of all of the false hope. I feel like I am the only one trying to make it work...

 

I told him it was my final goodbye

 

I haven't had the heart to read what he wrote back quite yet.

 

In fact, maybe I'll just press delete.

[thejigsup]

Read what he has to say. You never know and he can't hurt you any worse than he already has. Letting go can be so hard.

[zenbabyk]

Read what he has to say. You never know and he can't hurt you any worse than he already has. Letting go can be so hard.

 

I just don't want to read it and have him maybe tell me to not let go. If he tells me to stay I would have to. I just love him that much.

[redrose85]

I'm so sorry, zen. I agree, read what he wrote or you will always wonder. *hugs to you*

 

If he tells (asks) you to stay, and you want to... you have your answer. Love isn't always easy, but it can really be worth it to hold on.

[littlestar]

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) this is far from easy but it is your first step in the right direction to a new life.

 

You deserve and are worth so much more than he can offer you.

[zenbabyk]

I just don't want our memories to become a series of blurs....

 

It's just that his absense is such a huge void. I don't think he understands that we went from living with each other spending every free moment with each other every single day for a little over a month... to... maybe talking/e-mailing each other every 4-7 days.

 

I just feel like there are too many unanswered questions that will soon become just a part of our life long reflection...

 

I don't want to sit here and think "what if?"

 

I read his stupid e-mail... I don't understand it. Maybe I need help decoding it.

[H2OBaby]

give yourself a little time. And him too. If he is asking for you back or telling you to not let go... Tell him you need time. Guys really don't like to hear it. And the reflection for both of you could be what you both need. I know it hurts... my situation is really hard right now too (you can read it in the post saying "What do you do when you feel like it's all been a lie". Stay strong! But if someone is doing more hurt than good... it's time to let them go.

[zenbabyk]

give yourself a little time. And him too. If he is asking for you back or telling you to not let go... Tell him you need time. Guys really don't like to hear it. And the reflection for both of you could be what you both need. I know it hurts... my situation is really hard right now too (you can read it in the post saying "What do you do when you feel like it's all been a lie". Stay strong! But if someone is doing more hurt than good... it's time to let them go.

 

It's not that he is doing hurt... he moved to a different country, and I'm just not getting enough attention. It just hurts to face reality and realize that you can't be with the person you love.