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How should I react?


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Just wondering what you think I should do?


I've been seeing a lady for almost a year. Nothing too serious - the occasional night out, coffee etc. We were (I thought) getting along fine and everything was good. We had a great night out just before Xmas but I haven't seen her since. When I ask when we're going to catch up again she says she's 'too busy' and then I receive an email saying she's really stressed out about us. * * * ? One minute everything's good, the next she's 'too stressed out'.


I'm running the gamut of emotions at the moment. I'm confused, hurt, disappointed, angry etc. I've asked her if we can get together to clear the air but have received nothing but silence.


Should I...

a) just let it go and move on

b) keep trying to sort it out

c) send her an email telling her how I feel


Just don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

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You say you've been dating for about a year nothing too serious. She probably wants commitment.


Actually, it was the opposite - she didn't want to enter a proper relationship. I told her I was ready to but she hides behind a 'wall' (doesn't let her true feelings show, scared of being hurt etc). I tried explaining to her that we've all been hurt at some time and we move on but I think she's really scared to let someone into her life.

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Question: Why did she tell me 3 weeks earlier that everything's fine then change her mind completely? What makes someone do this? If she was feeling 'stressed', why didn't she mention it so we could talk it through? Has anyone else had this happen to them? What did you do? How did it turn out?


Any advice/experiences would be greatly appreciated. It's driving me crazy as I have deep feelings for this woman.

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She works long hours (10 hours days) and on her weekends, she catches up with friends/family, does the houskeeping, sporting persuits etc.

I think she keeps herself busy so she doesn't get lonely but surely she can arrange her life to fit in a relationship?

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If you honestly care about her, you should introduce her to your family...maybe you all can try going on a trip out of town just the two of you...She probley needs more closeness,, What is she busy with?


this girl pretty much lost interest and you are suggesting to introduce them to the family? not a good move OP. have to let go sometimes.

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what do you feel comfortable doing? what would make you feel better?

i might try to talk to her in person as well .. you guys have gone out for a year, you deserve a talk simply out of respect for one another .. maybe it's just me, but the game of ignoring someone until they come back to you has never worked for me .. what has worked for me is communication and mutual respect .. if you get no response, perhaps write an email and see what happens .. if she ignores you, you might not want to be with someone who treats you that way or handles her stress in that manner, regardless of how deep your feelings are ..

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Sorry, but I am going to ask the crucial question here-


Are you and your wife divorced yet ?


That has a HUGE impact on my advice to you.



Answer: No, we're not divorced, we're separated and no longer living together. We decided to separate and if either one wants to re-marry in the future, then we'll divorce.

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