Declaration of missing him

[orangetemple]

He has ditched me 2 or 3 times since i posted this thread. And i am re- reading them because each time is all so similar. Same pattern, same him *not wanting anything at the moment* same running away, blanking of me, me running after with emails and texts wanting answers....

 

 

So yeah after this thread, two months later we were seeing each other again. Then something triggered him and i think a few months later it was off, then a month or so later on..... and October, off.. same thing- a trigger and its *i dont want anything right now*

 

And here i am - the desperation, the him blanking me, telling me its over.. Its the same thing every time. Oh, and he throws in a "i will call the police if you text me" threat. he did that on one other occasion he ditched me too.

 

Ofcourse i have never even been to his suburb let alone his street or his house, so calling the police on me for texting wanting answers is his way of being a drama queen.

[Nicole2009]

So what is your plan now?

[orangetemple]

My daily plan is to try not to text or email him. Thats it. And to figure out why he even matters after the way he has treated me.

[orangetemple]

Do you think he has feelings for you too but maybe irritated with the ways you act? If you still feel for him up until now... you got to decide would you like to attract him back or let him go? What ever you choose I hope you will be happy with your decision. Good luck.

 

Theres no way I could get himm back even if i wanted to. He pretty much has ignored any contact i have made

[DenverBachelor]

Please don't take this as negative, but the fact that you are even considering this guy back in your life is more telling about where you are in your life right now. You couldn't possibly miss "him" because this guy is a loser and a jerk. Look how he has strung you along. I think you do miss the comfort and the security that this relationship gave you. I think you're projecting your happy feelings that you got from this security onto this guy, so your brain thinks that he is responsible for your happiness.

 

But when was the last time you were in a fulfilling relationship before him? Why are you so hung up on this guy? I think you first need to tell yourself that you really miss the security of that relationship and divert your mind's eye off the guy. Then you can start to deal with your own internal issues of what's lacking in your life and why you feel so hung up on the perceived lack of security and comfort in your own life that can currently only be fulfilled by a relationship.

 

You may need to take a step back to take two steps forward. Perhaps you should just take a few months off for yourself and keep yourself busy and learn more about who you are as a person instead of engaging back into a vicious cycle with this guy.

 

Just a thought.

[orangetemple]

i think you are right

 

I think you're projecting your happy feelings that you got from this security onto this guy, so your brain thinks that he is responsible for your happiness.

 

this part is particularly true, and i mean honestly the guy did not really make me happy. He was more trouble than it was worth, I think it was all about having *someone*....

 

And i am 40. I do know myself quite well, but yeah i neeed to really fugure out what is going on with me

[orangetemple]

 

 

and this si a little more background as to what he was like

[orangetemple]

for anyone reading this thread started in january and ive updated it a page or so back