How do I move on with my life?

[SugarHoneyIcedTea]

Since my boyfriend and my "best"friend slept together, both sides have desperately tried to reach out to me. Despite the fact that I care about them, I am moving on. Cheaters are always sorry, and I know that everyone makes mistake, but I don't know if I can really distinguish whether they are sincerely sorry for what they did or just sorry for getting caught. I don't think I am able to take the risk and take him back, allowing this to happen again. I refuse to let this happen again.

 

My friend had tried to text me yesterday so I gave her a piece of my mind, and let her know that I didn't want anything to do with her. Since then, her brother has made efforts to let me know that though he totally understands where I am coming from and she is definetly in the wrong, but she has "been through" her share of hardships and hasn't been the same. Apparently, she was raped by one of her mothers boyfriends and her own brother. I, myself was raped for my own virginity and so understanding what that experience is like, I refuse to take that as a valid excuse. It was hard to get over (and till this day I struggle) but I am not a victim, I am a survivor. Maybe I should feel some sort of sympathy for her, but I just can't. Nothing could justify sleeping with your "best"friends boyfriend. Absolutely nothing.

 

As for him, he calls me very frequently everday. I speak to him with absolutely NO respect (because he doesn't have any for me) and I am trying my best to push him away. I tell him I am looking forward to meeting new people and I want nothing to do with him. Maybe I was even a little too harsh in telling him he was not a dog, but a disease. Today, he said that he is willing to do whatever it takes (equipt with his revelation about the way he let his friends brainwash him into doing this, and that it totally was not in his character) , but they all say that! He has been speaking about us going out to talk about this on the weekend but honestly, I don't want to see him and I have told him this. Problem is he won't stop calling me (he will calls for 10 minutes straight at times), I have called him every name in the book, I have disrespected every aspect of his character & he is not letting up. The more he calls and says he's sorry, the more annoyed I get. When is he finally going to just leave?!

 

 

So how do I move on if they are still trying to reconcile, direct and indirectly? What do I have to say? What can I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!

[HellFrost666]

Good for you. What they did is awful. Feeling sorry and guilty after the fact is useless.

[chigal28]

Maybe they genuinely do feel remorseful (as they should), but it's also very likely they're just trying to rid themselves of guilt by getting you to forgive them and pretend nothing ever happened. What a ridiculous thing for them to expect.

 

I am a pretty understanding person, I think, but this would be absolutely unforgiveable. It would also tell me that I really didn't know these people like I thought I did.

 

I am SO SORRY you are going through this.

[HeartGoesOn]

No matter what, there is "NO" excuse for her sleeping with your boyfriend. They both made a choice, with no regard to you, or your feelings. Neither one of them could ever be a friend to you after this, IMO.

 

As far as him trying to contact you, you can't control what he does, all you can control is yourself. Please cut him out of your life now, you have NOTHING to feel quilty about!

 

Wishing you the best...

[SugarHoneyIcedTea]

I have decided to go NC but if he does infact come up here, I can't say I won't smack him!

 

Thanks guys.

[huskiesfan]

Your boyfriend and best friend didn't think about you and their relationship and friendship with you, when they were sleeping together, so don't give a lot of validity to their apologies and their attempts to contact you. Your right, they don't have respect for you, they just want to get rid of the guilt they feel. Even if you were to reconcile with them, that bond of trust is forever gone because of what they did. You are better off without them. And maybe a smck in the face is what your bf deserves...lol, just kidding.

[nutbrownhare]

Actually, by keeping your self-respect, feeling healthily angry (but please don't get yourself arrested for assault ) and keeping away from both of them, regardless - you ARE moving on.

 

I'm sure you'll find ways of stopping them contacting you using technology. And if anyone else tries to get round you on their behalf ... well, it's nobody else's business, is it?