would this be hard for you

[Kevma]

I would think its pretty safe to say that almost every couple usually has certain music that links eachother together. Music that you might have found together or one introduced to the other etc etc. My question then is, could you go to a concert of that said musician/band which reminded you of your ex so soon after your break up?

[hmdreamer7]

For me, probably not, at least not very soon after the breakup. When it comes to music I put a lot of emotion behind what I play or hear, so if I were in that kind of situation, I'd probably be so focused on how the song used to make me feel, that I couldn't enjoy it.

 

Over time, however, the past emotion that once was associated with the music would disappear, and I'd be able to enjoy it for what it is, not what it used to mean to me.

[yankeefan74]

The only thing that i had a problem with was a song by someone I'd never go see anyway - but my ex liked the song and it was her ring tone for a long time while we were together. I don't think i'll ever hear the song again and not think of this woman.

[Kevma]

For me, probably not, at least not very soon after the breakup. When it comes to music I put a lot of emotion behind what I play or hear, so if I were in that kind of situation, I'd probably be so focused on how the song used to make me feel, that I couldn't enjoy it.

 

Over time, however, the past emotion that once was associated with the music would disappear, and I'd be able to enjoy it for what it is, not what it used to mean to me.

 

I agree, I think w/ time you start to loose the most recent feelings or emotions associated w/ that music. Its just crazy how music, smells among many other things trigger such intense emotions towards another person.

[jettison]

I can no longer listen to Joana Newsom, nor can I listen to the soundtrack from Pulp Fiction. It takes me instantly to very vivid, very happy times with my longest term ex.

 

I can no longer listen to Sufjan Stevens. It was the soundtrack to my next love.

 

Concerts? Forget about it.

 

The most vivid example I have of music from someone's romantic past causing a stir is from my housemate. She had just broken up with someone, and we all went to see a small, intimate show. Really intimate. There were only 15 people in the audience, and it was a very quiet place. The singer/songwriter had sang at the ex's previous wedding.

 

So, about midway through the third song, the dumpee was openly weeping, interrupting the show. Awkward? This was so far beyond anything I previously recognized as awkward.

[Robert013]

I went to a concert soon after and it didn't feel right at first but then I took it upon myself to enjoy it and I did. So yes it can feel strange but it is a concert you are supposed to have fun.

[Kevma]

I can no longer listen to Joana Newsom, nor can I listen to the soundtrack from Pulp Fiction. It takes me instantly to very vivid, very happy times with my longest term ex.

 

I can no longer listen to Sufjan Stevens. It was the soundtrack to my next love.

 

Concerts? Forget about it.

 

The most vivid example I have of music from someone's romantic past causing a stir is from my housemate. She had just broken up with someone, and we all went to see a small, intimate show. Really intimate. There were only 15 people in the audience, and it was a very quiet place. The singer/songwriter has sang at the ex's previous wedding.

 

So, about midway through the third song, the dumpee was openly weeping, interrupting the show. Awkward? This was so far beyond anything I previously recognized as awkward.

 

Ouch. Now how do you think it is for the dumper. Obviously it affects the one who was dumped but I'm just curious if anyone else who intiated the breakup finds it as hard as the dumpee?

[Kevma]

I went to a concert soon after and it didn't feel right at first but then I took it upon myself to enjoy it and I did. So yes it can feel strange but it is a concert you are supposed to have fun.

 

You're right, you are supposed to enjoy the concert, but for me music plays a big role in my life and whom ever I'm with. I find that it would be very difficult for me to go and enjoy a concert esp if that concert was one that ties me to someone I've loved and lost.

[thejigsup]

Music, shmusic. What does music have to do with a relationship, anyway? I have always liked what I've liked musicwise, and no man has ever influenced that. Sooo...I've never tied any special artist in with any of my relationships. Most of my men have shared my taste in music, but I never saw it as part of the relationship. My music tastes were set before I met them. I have discovered new music in my life, but that has mainly come about because of my son and his friends, not relationships.

[Kevma]

Music, shmusic. What does music have to do with a relationship, anyway? I have always liked what I've liked musicwise, and no man has ever influenced that. Sooo...I've never tied any special artist in with any of my relationships. Most of my men have shared my taste in music, but I never saw it as part of the relationship. My music tastes were set before I met them. I have discovered new music in my life, but that has mainly come about because of my son and his friends, not relationships.

 

Well when it does come about from a relationship then maybe you might see it different.