littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Why do ex's (dumpers) contact us? I was doing swell for months, the last interaction I had with her was back in June. I have not done anything since then but she continues to send me emails. I don't respond and I thought she would just fade away but today I get an email. Just hello and random stuff. In a nutshell she left me for an ex and I went cold turkey. I am starting to believe the notion that eventually the dumpee starts to dislike the dumper and the dumper finds a new found 'affection' for the dumpee. Does anyone else feel this way? Do you just ignore? Link to comment
littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 It usually means the person they left you for didn't work out. Not always, but IMO usually. I hear you but it is like mindless chit chat always. Is this 'testing the waters' so to speak? Anyway, I am glad I walked away and didn't look back. Link to comment
Robert013 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I think at some point some dumper's feel regret and miss the dumpee. It doesn't matter if they are in a relationship or not. They could also be testing the water to see where they stand. Link to comment
LadyBrandon Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I have no idea why they do that. Maybe to make themselves feel less guilt is what I assume. My ex bf recently contacted me. We were on a online forum together for a long time but we never talked...by phone or email or in any other way. Then when I made a post for the administrators to delete my account, I got chased all over the internet by him. He even re-activated his Facebook account and contacted me through mine when the old email addresses he had for me did not work. We had been split up for a year after he dumped me for the umpteenth time and I was trying to *disappear* on account of him. Just wanted to make myself scarce and he ends up chasing me down. Long story short....I ended up with him at his place over Christmas (I wanted to see his new house and his new car).....haven't been invited back since....now we just email (his idea) and I am getting very bored of that so I am in no contact mode as of yesterday. I didn't even reply to his last email. With luck he wil fade away. But with all that said, I think they want to relieve themselves of any guilt they felt when they dumped us so they start contacting us. Your theory could be right too because my feelings are changing for this guy and I am kind of wishing he would just go away. Link to comment
littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Little, I'm glad you walked, too. You sound strong. Trust me, her thing with her ex went in the pooper or they are having problems and now she is "testing waters" with you again. Thats what i thought, if she was looking to be friends wouldn't she have been there all along? My 'girl' friends tell me constantly she is not worth it and I believe them. Once I found out she left me for this guy all bets were off. I cannot handle any kind of betrayal if it happens now who knows what will happen down the road. Link to comment
LadyBrandon Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 It usually means the person they left you for didn't work out. Not always, but IMO usually. That happened to me too. I assumed he was still with the girl he left me for and I went off on him Turned out he and she broke up last April and he said they were very incompatible......yet he returns to me...hmmmmmm. I bet that is what is going on with you littlej. Link to comment
littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 I bet that is what is going on with you littlej. She kinda eluded to this over the summer the last time I talked to her. This guy that she had to have when he was married. He got a divorce and they got together. Of couse my self esteem took a hit but I knew I was better than that. Link to comment
LadyBrandon Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 with Of couse my self esteem took a hit but I knew I was better than that. I know *exactly* how you feel. Link to comment
littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 I just want her to realize that she has to live with her mistake. Her one ex would always take her back but I cannot be walked on like that. I got my strength back and I would love to tell her where to go but I just choose to ignore. My thought is it is better to say nothing at all. Link to comment
LadyBrandon Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I just want her to realize that she has to live with her mistake. Her one ex would always take her back but I cannot be walked on like that. I got my strength back and I would love to tell her where to go but I just choose to ignore. My thought is it is better to say nothing at all. I agree with you on saying nothing. I'd love to tell my ex where to go but I say nothing...makes *me* look better...in my opinion. Link to comment
littlej Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Dignity, thats one thing I can say. Thats how I left, with my dignity intact. Link to comment
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