dating a close friend?

[geronn]

hello everyone, I need help. I have a very good female friend, we talk and hang out all the time, get along great, never fight, share a lot of personal stuff with each other. recently we've started even discussing sexual things (she initiates it almost all the time) like fetishes, sexual turn ons, turnoffs etc. she's such an awesome person and I've found myself having a huge crush on her.....

 

now i'm pretty clueless with women, and i'm really not sure if she's attracted to me too. would women usually talk about sexual things with guy friends, or is it a sign she is into me that way? one time she mentioned something to me about never being able to tell if a guy is into her and she was sort of distressed about it. I sort of felt like she was trying to tell me something, but I don't know, and please don't just agree with me to make me feel better. we're really close but i don't think i've ever really shown i'm attracted to her out of fear of making things awkward.

 

i'd really love to date her but it would kill me to screw up our friendship. maybe that's a sign i shouldn't try it? I've ruined a good friendship before by trying to make it into something more so it's made me wary of it....

 

any advice here?

[ghost69]

i have some close friends that talk this way.

 

a friendship is always a risk you take when going further.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Why not talk to her about dating? Nothing ventured nothing gained. Just make sure she wants a real relationship and not a friends with benefits type thing or else you could get really hurt.

[wayoverit]

First, a woman talking to you about sexual things (rather than taking action toward you) means she totally has no interest in you sexually. What that means is, you're not the guy she wants to go to bed with.

 

Second, I still can't believe you cannot lay it all down on the table about your feelings, when a woman is open enough to tell you about her sexual preferences. Talk openly with your "friend" and treat her like a guy. she's already treated you like a woman friend already.

 

The chance of this relationship going further as lovers is zilch. But who knows what will happen if you take it to the next level right? Go for it. Tell her how you feel but first tell her don't be shocked and that you're cool about it if she doesn't see it can go further. Very easy. I see you have a strong friendship to last thru this coming storm and this is a perfect opportunity to test how strong it is.

[stranded247]

Me and my best friend who is a guy talk about sex and really intimate stuff all the time. We dated about 4 years ago for a very brief period of time but I can honestly say when we discuss this stuff its because I trust him as a friend and feel comfortable. I'm not sure in a female's position I'd be able to tell a guy I have feelings for such details about sexual preferance and so on unless we had already been sexual together. So I would not read into that.

How long have you been friends? Honestly I think 'friendcest' as I like to call it rarely ever works out. I wouldn't go for it unless you have crazy feelings for her and really think she might be into you, I speak from experience when I say that 90% of the time you're better off as friends even if those cute movies like 'when harry met sally' exist, not many people are as lucky as harry and sally lol.

[My Advice]

way where did you get this????? I have fooled around with girls who talk about sexual things with me before and some of them expressed A LOT of interest in me but I had no interest in them.

All it means is that they either want you to think about them sexually or they are comfortable around you.

[lilmzlisa]

I think you need to talk to her about how you feel, i really do. She seems to be super comfortable with you, so this shouldnt be too much of a problem. Just address the situation by asking her how she really feels about you and that you think you're getting mixed signals whether she wants to be friends or something more, if she is a really good friend and doesnt want anything more than friendship then she will totally understand your predicament and it shouldnt affect your relationship, infact she may even be flattered that you feel this way. Give it a try, at least you will know where you stand!