help with problem

[knicks20]

So me and my gf have been together for almost 2 years now and were both virgins still. She said she didnt want to have sex for a long time then changed her mind to having it very soon then changed her mind again not to have it for another year or so. The problem is i think im losing my desire to have sex with her. She thinks everything about sex is gross and she cant even say sex without being grossed out while i have the opposite view on sex im 20 and shes 19 what should i do?

[ghost69]

is she this indecisive on other subjects?

[jettison]

Just assume that she doesn't know what she wants or what she likes because she doesn't. You can't say "I don't like sake", or "I don't like kickboxing" if you've never imbibed on Japanese drinks, and never kicked someone in the head.

 

Don't personalize anything she's saying about the topic of sex. It means almost nothing, and her viewpoints will change on a whim. Flow with it and don't fret. And you may even be surprised that once you do have sex that she likes it even more then you do and won't leave you alone. It happens.

[jstaman]

Maybe the two of you need to talk about it,privately, if she has issues with even saying the word "sex" then possibly she isn't ready on a deeper level. She needs to be comfortable with herself and her body before she would ever be comfortable with you seeing or touching her in a sexual way.

 

A lot of times things like this can go back to how the person was raised and how their parents taught them to see things like sex as "a Bad thing". my advise, just talk with her about it, if she seems uncomfortable don't push it. Let her know how you feel about her which hopefully will make her more comfortable with the idea of you and her together. When you and her are being intimate (kissing touching ETC) try pushing your limits just a little (touch her on her breats or inner thigh ETC) see how she reacts and go from that.

 

Just my opinion, Hope this helps.

[DN]

I think that if she is really grossed out by the idea of sex then you should be very wary of being in a relationship with her. She has problems that you will not be able to help her with and will end up extremely frustrated. She may not have had the actual experience but she must have some idea of what it is all about.

 

Do you engage in any form of sexual activity at all? If so - how does she react?

[knicks20]

yea i take her top off whenever i sleep over or she sleeps over but touching anything below is a definite no

[alcide]

Just give her time ok but let her know your feelings ok.

[knicks20]

and i think when she keeps saying its weird and she feels weird and i just dont want to i feel like my desire to have it keeps going down for some reason