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What should I do?


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Here's the story, probably a long one. For about 2 years now, this girl and I have been talking online. In the very beginning we totally sparked. Unfortunately, at the time, I was with someone and I'm a VERY loyal boyfriend. This girl, Candy, she had a thing for me, really bad. She really liked me, but I was taken so we just stayed friend. We actually lived about 30 minutes away from each other. Then after my ex and I broke up, Candy and I were thinking about meeting up. Unfortunately, I was offered a raise and a promotion for my job, but in a different state. For the sake of my future, I chose the job and moved away.


Again, for that stretch of time, Candy and I stayed in touch and because close friends, ALL online, though. Then, about 3 months ago when we were talking, I let the news slip that I'm back in Oregon. We started talking about where each other lives for some reason and we found out that we literally live like 5 minutes away from each other! I've always liked this girl from the start but I know better... we have fun together, we talk all the time, our personalities totally compliment each other, we have a lot, A LOT, in common... and we totally hit it off online. I've shown her that I'm a good and "sweet and chivalrous" guy, as she says, and she's shown me just how good of a girl she is. True friendship, I guess...


But recently we've been talking more and more and more and more, talking to the point where we both stay up until 3AM in the morning, just to chat with each other because we make each other laugh so much. I go home from a hard day at work looking forward to chatting with her=)


I figured that since we live so close and I know where she works, I'll be chivalrous, like always. Before just walking in and meeting her at work, I figured I'd get her phone number. Of course I'd want to gain her trust on a more personal basis, since we only know each other online. She was expecting me to go meet up with her at work. But guess what... that night I was supposed to go meet her at work, her OTHER infatuation popped in the picture. She totally melted. They went out on one date and I felt really crushed. I felt like I was put on the back burner, but continued on working on my business and jobs. But that thing with the other guy, he ended up wanting a one night stand with her, and she's a good girl, she's not like that, now she wants nothing to do with him.


So, basically, we've had this ongoing friendship and each of us has felt something more for the other person. But I have no idea how to proceed. I can't just go in to her work and spit game or anything... how should I proceed? I'm really romantic and chivalrous, I like to earn a girl and treat her like a princess, not just win her over. Any suggestions?


Then again, I was put on the back burner, who knows if she would do this again in the future. Should I just continue on and keep my eye open for another girl? ahhh, sorry, I can talk on and on and on about her forever. Tell me what you think please! I'm lost and I'm extremely shy!

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well mate...

being only online friends isn't going to get you nowhere...

you have to meet, or at least talk on the phone first.

human contact, be it on the phone or physically can change lots of things...

being physically present with the person in question is the best way to try to make something sparkle.

she won't have as much anticipation and "feelings" when you meet online than when you meet in person.

oh and try to play on the "anticipation" part.

good luck mate


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Hi minndawg,


I am not sure if you should feel like being put in the back burner. If this young woman didn't know how you felt, I am not sure if it would be fair to her to think that she put you in the back burner.


My suggestion is to take action. I would start to make her compliments and talk to her. I would also suggest that you tell her how you feel about her. May be not right now, after what this other guy has done to her. She might feel a little suspicious (unfortunately). I am sorry to say that it might be possible that you have to win her trust and confidence in you.


I hope this helped you some and I wish you good luck


~ SwingFox ~

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Thanks again, swingfox=) I know that she has confidence in me, she's told me. She told me that out of all of the friends she has, even though I'm just an "online friend" so far, I'm the type of guy she can trust. But those are just words...


You know, you're right about the back-burner thing. She had no idea that I felt this way so I can't blame her. By holding that in my mind I kind of withdrew myself from her. Now I know I was wrong.


So, what you're saying is that I should just continue to be a good friend as one really should be, and just give her time. Wait until the time's right, then tell her about my feelings?

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