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i met this guy in a club and i dont know what he is interested in.can someone please help me out

chocolate_86

By chocolate_86
in Dating Advice

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chocolate_86 Collaborator

chocolate_86

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I met him a month ago. he was watching me all night and following me and at the end he came up to me and asked if he could kiss me. so we kissed and then we went outside and kissed more. he got my number and texted me the very next day. asking me when we could meet up again.then he said he didnt have any money so could we just go to a park. i said no,ill wait for him to have money to take me out.we had a fight and didnt talk for a week.then he called me and said he wanted to be with me and give us a decent go. then i didnt hear from him for 4 days. i met up with him and we agreed just to be friends. but then i met with him again and he said i am the only one who sticks by him and he told me he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend and see me more than once a week. i really like this guy but i dont know if he likes me or just wants sex.how can i tell. and he went down on me even though i told him i wouldn't go down on him and he said he didnt care because he just wanted to do it for me.

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D_Lish Rookie

D_Lish

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You said you wouldn't go out with him, unless he had money????? Bad move on your part. What's wrong with going for a walk, a picnic....??

 

He says he loves you and despite not talking for a week, no contact for four days and sees you only once a week?

 

He's after sex.....

 

NEXT!!

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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It sounds like he wants a casual fling. I'm not sure if it was a great idea to tell him he can't see you unless he has money to take you out - perhaps you could have suggested an alternative and inexpensive plan (a museum, a hike) that wasn't just "meet up in a park and hook up" - he was probably put off by that.

 

At this point it sounds like you've confirmed for him that you are ok meeting up and hooking up which is probably confusing him because earlier you said you wouldn't see him unless he had money to take you out. You need to decide what you want and communicate that to him clearly and act consistently with what you tell him. Ask him what his idea of "girlfriend" is and you need to decide whether you are comfortable continuing to be sexual with him at this early stage (maybe you are, maybe not). What do you want?

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alcide Collaborator

alcide

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Well give it a try, leave life with regrets, you never know every thing has its up's and down's but life goes on, so if i were in your place i would give him a try, no one is perfect and he might just be thinking the same way you are, and maybe trying to keep a little distance so he wont get hurt.

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EQD Collaborator

EQD

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is this a joke?

this guy sounds like he has mental issues. and no i am not playing.

'i love you and i want you to be my girlfriend'

'come to the park'

'no i want a date'

*fight*

sounds like he was going to rape you or something...

and sounds very very pushy. which means there is probably a negative agenda.

i would seriously stop talking to this guy.

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D_Lish Rookie

D_Lish

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Must admit, hes sounds an oddity I wouldn't give a second chance too....

 

He stares all night, then asks for a kiss......without even knowing this female or ever having talked to her.

He's telling her shes the only one who sticks with him, he loves her.....all that after seeing each other just once a week, for a month and for half of that month they were not speaking???

 

Guy seems to be moving way too fast....ie: his declaration of early love.

 

Once he gets sex.....doubt you will see him for dust.

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Sweet Venus Enthusiast

Sweet Venus

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Holy crap this guy sounds like a nutbag!!!

 

**Clue #1 You meet in a club, and he asks to kiss you without even knowing you??

** Clue #2 He asks you to meet him in a parkand gets mad because you tell him NO.

**Clue #3 Diasappears for days.Tells you he "loves" you within a month, and you're

the only one who stands by him??? Hmmm maybe there's a REASON for that???

 

Run girl run!!!!!!!!

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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You both sound as if you have some issues at play. I am not sure why you declined the park and said you will wait until he has money. And the things he has done and said are also redflags.

 

You two have ALREADY had a fight and have not even gone on a date.

 

I'd call this one a day and work on my communication skills and hone in on what my real expectations for a date really are and what they really should be because I don't think you know.

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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WOW.It amazes me how many people are faulting her for asking him to

have the courtesy to take her OUT??? WOW

 

I guess some of us believe a walk in the park is an actual date. Not everyone believes a date has to have a pricetag associated with it.

 

It was his bad for mentioning the no money thing and it was hers to make it sound like she wanted to date his wallet.

 

Neither of them have very good communication skills.

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midnightrambler Enthusiast

midnightrambler

Posted
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I guess some of us believe a walk in the park is an actual date. Not everyone believes a date has to have a pricetag associated with it.

 

It was his bad for mentioning the no money thing and it was hers to make it sound like she wanted to date his wallet.

 

Neither of them have very good communication skills.

 

 

the most romantic date i ever had I walked along the Ohio River

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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But not all great dates start first with a bought dinner.

 

There are many ways to be creative. And since she shut him down right off his date at the park might have had a few other components to it as well..maye he would have brought along a bottle of wine he already had at the house, a bite to eat, etc.

 

I agree the guy sounds like a nut but she isn't sounding all that well put together either based on the things she is saying and the way she is reacting to someone who professes to love her after meeting up once or twice .... and they already had a fight.

 

I'd run faster than i could blink my eye with this one.

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Scorpion Fury Contributor

Scorpion Fury

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I gotta say I agree with EQD. You met him a month ago, and have hung out once a week since then...I'm counting 4 times, is that right? And you're the only one who sticks by him, and he LOVES you and wants you to be his girlfriend?

 

He's either a little off his rocker, or he has some ulterior motive (sex) and will say whatever to get in your pants. How old are you two?

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chocolate_86 Collaborator

chocolate_86

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first off id like to say i am very well put together.

 

I just happen to have some self respect and i NEVER said he had to have money,i just didn't want him to take me to some park at night time in the middle of nowhere the very first time we met up,because i'd like to know there are people around to help me if he is crazy.

 

And i am only young and i don't have alot of experience with guys and dating ok.i'm not saying i'm 15 but i am 22. i wouldn't care if he'd want to meet at a beach or something.it NEVER had to cost money.

 

and excuse me but i think we've all had feelings at some point for someone who wasnt right and its not easy to overcome.

 

i am far from high maitenance.........just for the record.

 

goodnite

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