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Please help.... killing me


dflq123
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Im in an extremely serious 10 month relationship, but recently have for some reason been having obsessive thoughts which never let up in my mind. Ive been extremely bothered by the concept that even when youre in a relationship you will naturally be attracted to other people. The concept that my girlfriend is attracted to other men is killing me and i dont know why its become such an obsession. I feel like i need her to only be attracted to me and i dont know why.

 

Like, its my girl, yet she's still having attracted feelings when she sees other men.

 

Im inexperienced with relationships and i had alot of conservative misconceptions, but now i need to get over them and come to accept human nature in the context of a relationship... I know im attracted to other women too, but its no consolation....

 

Please help me change my mindset, im dying...

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This bothers me too. I've made some pretty dumb mistakes from this insecurity.

 

I know there will always be some one better looking than me, and someone will have attractive personality traits i don't.

 

I have however become more than comfortable with who i am. I've spent a fair amount of time looking back on my life thus far, and realizing how i've become who i am. I look back at every profound and unique event that has come to shape me. I remember all the people who have loved me, and all the people i love. I remember every victory and every defeat. I think of where i've been and where i'm going. I look at the mysteries that have been revealed over time. Everything that has made me who i am, good or bad, has been beautiful. Looking at my life i realize i would never trade being myself for being anyone else. This is how i've come to love myself.

 

Who i am is more valuable than looks or charm. I want to be with someone who realizes values that. There are lots of attractive people in the world, but beauty is something far greater.

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Yeah, it's only natural but generally there's only ever one guy I'm MAD about, one guy I'm properly attracted TO. Other guys, I just find attractive. And if you're that one guy, there's no need to worry. Thinking too deeply can destroy pretty much anything. It's something you can't change so just go with the flow and enjoy life, enjoy your relationship.

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I think the real question you have to ask yourself is "will she act on her other attractions?" If you think the answer is 'yes' than you have a legitimate concern. If you think the answer is 'no' then you have to examine your own feelings of jealousy and where it's coming from.

 

For your sake, I hope the answer is 'no'.

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