What should I do?

[sprtgrl]

Ok, here's the situation that I am in....My boyfriend and I recently broke up (his idea) because he said he needed space, time to think, that the distance between us was too much, yada yada yada. We talked on email a couple of days afterwards, but the last time we talked was a week ago. The times that we talked before were always initiated by him. I was trying to give him space, like he wanted, but it seemed like he didn't want it when I gave it to him. He went out of town this past weekend (Valentine's weekend) to visit his family. On Sunday night, he called me twice on his way home, but I didn't answer. The first time I was digging my cell out of my purse, and I accidentally hung up on him. I didn't call him back. He called again about 40 minutes later, I didn't answer but he left a message. He said he was calling to see how I was doing, and that he probably was the last person I wanted to talk to. He said he was calling to see how I was doing, and that he wanted someone to talk to because he had just past where I lived, and he was driving in a snowstorm. He then apologized for calling, said goodbye, and hung up. That was Sunday night, today is now Tuesday, but he has not contacted me again. My question is, should I have talked to him or did I do the right thing? I have not initiated any contact with him because I was sticking by the no contact rule....is he trying to reach out to me, and I'm pushing him away? I'm just confused on if I should return his call or not, or continue having no contact with him. If anyone has any advice, or has gone through the same situation, I would greatly appreciate your response! Thanks for all of the support, this site has really helped me!

 

sprtgrl

[Athena]

"but it seemed like he didn't want it when I gave it to him. " Isn't that interesting.....

 

I think you did the right thing and I don't think you should call him back.

 

-A

[Beec]

What would you do if he did talk to you and expressed some interest? If you know that, you can figure out whether to call him.

 

I think it is bad to aovid his attempts to contact you, if you want to get back in with him. However, it is better to avoid him if you cannot manage the contact. Managing the contact means being nice, civil and even providing him with support, appreciation, etc., while being aloof and vague and totally disaffected by him, until he makes a big move to get back together. Any move he makes should be met, by one from you but smaller than his.

[sprtgrl]

Thanks for the advice....sometimes I think I'm doing the right thing, and other times I start to doubt myself. If he did show interest again, I honestly don't know what I would say. I've posted on here previously, and the one thing about him that bothers me is that he is very indecisive about what he wants out of relationships and in his career. He's very wishy-washy, he changes his mind at the drop of a hat, and that bothers me. I'm totally not like that, I know what I want out of a relationship and life in general. That part of him would definitely have to change for me to want a future with him, and I don't know if that's something you can change about yourself, or if that's just how you're made. Any advice on that? Thanks for reading my posts and providing advice, it has helped me get through it

[Beec]

It is something you can change and you might even be able to get him to change it, if you formed a good plan of attack.