Not sure what my title should be

[jas56]

Well, a little while ago I thought to myself, I need to start dating. Unfortunately im a complete noob. I think im one of those people that while I'd like to be with someone eventually, it wasn't a huge deal like it is with some people. Since Im getting older its been popping up more often. So moving on, I happen to meet this guy.

 

I chatted and hung out with him for a while and we have good conversation so im thinking wow this person could be a really cool friend. Skipping on, we have another convo where he was like, oh I need a companion/gf. Im like ook (didn't know what to say to that) and he's like we should go see a scary movie so you can hold my hand (or something to that effect). Im like, I don't usually make it a habit to hold my friend's hands during a movie (in a joking manner). Apparently he says things to get reactions out of people according to him. I don't think mines was what he was expecting.

 

So for the most part in alot of our conversations I can tell that he wanted to date up until he finally asked one time. The problem is, i am not really attracted to him in that way. I never lead him to believe that i was interested in that way. I feel bad because he really is a nice guy and I feel like its unfair for me and him to have to learn or convince myself to have those type of feelings when the aren't there.

 

Anytime he has talked to me as if I were his gf, id be completely platonic about whatever was being said. And no, I haven't flat out told him this yet, but I would think that he'd know since I always imply that he is my FRIEND and nothing more for the time being. He keeps trying though. I also feel like im not the right person for him.

[SapphireNoir10]

In situations like these honesty is the best policy. When he mentions it again be compeltely honest and tell him he is just a friend in your eyes.

[Tethys]

Sounds like you both engaged in a bit of flirting, but he took it more seriously.

 

You have two options:

 

Brutal honesty -- where you say hey, we're friends, nothing more

 

or

 

start talking about other guys to him, and he'll get the picture.

 

Both are hurtful, but the second might allow him to save some face.

 

Good luck...

[jas56]

yeah your both right and to tell you the truth ive been dreading it. What really kind of turned me off at one point was, at the time when he asked if we could date, I asked him, why do you want to date me? You know what he answer was? Because you are the only girl that I know is single and not over 35 (im ten years younger and he is my age). This is because all the girls he knows are at his job. I was like well, I guess you need to go out and meet more people. I dunno it was just weird to me. I don't think he meant it in any kind of way but, it was just......?

[Tethys]

Oh he said that??

 

Go with my number 1 above and set him straight.

[jas56]

lol yeah. I'm just like dude, you need to get out more. I think that he does genuinely have those feelings but I just happened to meet him and there you go. I think i'll be talking to him about the situation somehow though. Its just one of those life things that you don't want to do or shouldn't have to rather. I guess sometimes people just have to hear it.

[Tethys]

Yeah, set him straight but let him know you are still his friend. That seems best.