Now what?

[Barcode]

This is a new one for me.

 

Met somebody on-line, many e-mails exchanged (as in, hundreds). Attraction was acknowledged (we're gay, but the dynamics are the same)

 

Met up, attraction was there. She kissed me. All good, yes? After an HOUR of kissing me, she says:

 

This is reminding me of my ex, I can't deal with this.

 

I left, as really, I could not respond sensibly to that. She texts, apologizes, said she kissed me because she wanted to, but was unprepared for feelings about the past.

 

I get the ex-stuff, I do not get TELLING SOMEBODY WHEN YOU ARE KISSING THEM.

 

Is it me, or is that fairly Do I be nice? I could have dealt with it if she did not say she liked me BEFORE it got to this point. Now it's all weird. And yes, I know the obvious response is that it's just "the net", but there are real people who become hurt by others inconsistent behaviour.

 

What a bloody mess.

[Mutley]

Drop her and don't look back.

[Adge]

You don't want to be a rebound. Scuttle on by.

[SapphireNoir10]

Yep totally rebound. I'd say cut ties now before you get sucked into something too complex.

[Barcode]

Yeah, I'm thinking that. The sad thing is I guess I want her to work it out. She sent me three messages the following day, all apologetic, but still weird, like: I wanted to kiss you, so that's why I did it. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm not that sort of person.

 

But what SANE person spends a whole day with someone, tells them they like them, asks to meet up again, spends time kissing them, and changes their mind within FIVE MINUTES.

 

I've never known anybody like that, so I'm slightly baffled.

[SapphireNoir10]

I think its getting a little too complicated so early on.

 

Shes doesnt know what she wnats and sounds a little unstable to me.

[Barcode]

Unstable sounds about right. When she said the ex-stuff, she started saying stuff like: I thought I was ready for someone new, and now I'm not (five minutes before, she was apparently).

 

It is difficult to reconcile all her messages and actions up until that point with what happened.

 

I have blocked her from facebook, and sent one reply just saying that unless she comes to the conclusion that she has been an idiot, that I did not know what I could say to her. That I only wanted to go out, have a few drinks, and be non-intense, and that it was disappointing she complicated an otherwise nice day by saying all that.

 

She said: maybe I should not have been honest.

 

And I'm thinking, it's less about honesty, but more about SENSITIVITY and TIMING.

 

Yeah, emotionally, it sucks as it seemed real. Rationally, I should ignore any further messages.

[SapphireNoir10]

I say so!

 

You'll only get sucked back in to the whole situation.

[savignon]

You sound like a sensible woman who noticed some red flags right away....kudos to you as it has often taken me much longer! Well done!!

[Barcode]

Yeah. It just sucks that I cannot disengage my emotions so easily, as I do like her, and thought there was a genuine connection.