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How do i find out if he's gay? (teenage boy issues)

Kyle7

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Kyle7 Newbie

Kyle7

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I had this posted on another thread but I'm still at a loss. This really good looking guy i would like to ask out, Donovan, and i have 2 of the sames classes together.

A couple of my friends think hes gay and think i have a shoot at him going out with me (if he is gay). Today we went to the weight room for gym class. Neither of us really spark up a conversation but we are spotters for each other. Today i was trying to talk about some small things and he just couldn't focus on what i was saying. It was like he was looking at every other guy in there. I guess in a way that's a good thing for me because i would assume hes sneaking glances at them. I'm thinking of just asking him if he's gay soon but that's so blunt and for as little as i know about him he could be fine and want to talk about it or flip out. (Doubt hes going to get too mad cuz hes just a laid back kind of guy). We really don't have mutual friends and its hard to invite him to things cuz me and my friends dont really go too many places as a group... haha we live in the middle of nowhere. If anyone has advice; please post it.

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ionZero Newbie

ionZero

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Just ask him if theres any girls hes interested in. But im not sure WHY you want to know so much?

 

Haha, probably because he likes him. Just a guess though

 

Honestly, I'm dealing with a similar problem. Are you good friends with him? Do you know him very well?

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krettler Newbie

krettler

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i am in hte exact same situation you are in, a good way to get his opnion on gays is to mention something about a well known gay guy around your school and ask him what he thinks about him. and depending how the conversation goes could give you an idea about his veiws on gay people, but just saying a lot of homophobic people i know have turned out gay.

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krettler Newbie

krettler

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ok that does seem like a problem, i live in a hick vile to but even then we got atleast 4 openly gay guys plus like 8 lesbians and openly gay couples, ok well then i suggest that you strike up a conversation and then once ur past the small talk start telling him about a gay guy u know or a gay story of your friends, and then see how things go from their, thats what i did with the few people i like and it gave me a better grasp on where they stand

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krettler Newbie

krettler

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ya i totaly get what you are saying, even if you know most people are fine with it you are always hesitant cuz you know someone will reject you, and you dont wanna tell the other guy cuz if he takes it bad he could tell everyone but the only thing u can do is take a chance

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pianoguy Community Regular

pianoguy

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Hmmmm.... *pianoguy thinks deeply*

 

Here's some things to try:

 

1) Make up an imaginary friend, or cousin, or something who's gay, mention that he was over at your house and had his boyfriend along with. See his reaction.

 

2) Ask him if there's any girls he likes. This method doesn't work very well, but it's easy to do. He may lie. He may not.

 

3) Tell him you're gay. This is the most reliable method but it's scary.

 

4) Get a girl to ask him if he's gay. Guys are more likely to confess to girls than to boys. You said you didn't have any mutual friends, but maybe you have a conniving, chatty, cunning-type female friend who could trap him in a conversation and find out?

 

5) If you decide to ask him outright, he may still lie, just be aware.

 

That's about all I can come up with.

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Icefire Newbie

Icefire

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Well to be honest, I felt WAY more comfortable telling girls I was gay than telling guys, even though in the end, my guy friends were just as cool with it. Not sure what it is about girls, but it feels like they would be more accepting of it for some reason, lol.

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pianoguy Community Regular

pianoguy

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Well to be honest, I felt WAY more comfortable telling girls I was gay than telling guys, even though in the end, my guy friends were just as cool with it. Not sure what it is about girls, but it feels like they would be more accepting of it for some reason, lol.

 

Me too. I think it's because straight guys are REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of another guy having a crush on them. I think straight guys sometimes forget that gay guys don't have crushes on ALL guys.

 

I have told a guy that I had a crush on that I was gay, but I never told him I had a crush on him, and I have a pretty good poker face, so I don't think it affected the friendship too much. It kills you a little inside though.

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  • 3 months later...
Alexx20 Newbie

Alexx20

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Hi guys. I'm new& am having my own guy problem. I'm masculine & am attracted to masculine guys, which makes it even harder to tell if the guy is gay LOL anyway I go to college and the guy I like is in my French class. Ever since the 1st day I've notice he looks at me alot. I've never talk'd to a guy I liked or had a bf. But u feel like I'm ready to start dating just that idk what to do. There's no signs that's he's gay, just that I feel he looks at me way too much & is a bit nervous around me. Oh & he's 25,& im 19. This has been going on 4( 2- months. He use sit 2 seats frm me but recently moved 5 seats away, but still looks at me(confusing huh LOL) Plz tell me what u guys think

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Alexx20 Newbie

Alexx20

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Hi guys. I'm new& am having my own guy problem. I'm masculine & am attracted to masculine guys, which makes it even harder to tell if the guy is gay LOL anyway I go to college and the guy I like is in my French class. Ever since the 1st day I've notice he looks at me alot. I've never talk'd to a guy I liked or had a bf. But u feel like I'm ready to start dating just that idk what to do. There's no signs that's he's gay, just that I feel he looks at me way too much & is a bit nervous around me. Oh & he's 25,& im 19. This has been going on 4( 2- months. He use sit 2 seats frm me but recently moved 5 seats away, but still looks at me(confusing huh LOL) Plz tell me what u guys think

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1WayTicket2Norway Apprentice

1WayTicket2Norway

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I've posted this before and i'll post it again:

 

rule 1 in LGBT world: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!

 

Anyone could be gay and anyone could be straight, regardless of the way that they act. There is no sure fire way to tell. you are making assumptions about a person that you hardly know just because you are attracted to him.

 

secondly, not all guys you are attracted to are going to be gay, its unfortunately a sad fact of life. i've been in your sitiuation a million times before, and i empathise with you completely. it's not a cool position to be in (unrequited love/like).

 

if you really want to persue this guy, you are going to have to get close to him, find out more about him. judging from a distance isn't a solution.

 

anyway, good luck! and for future reference: try posting your own thread instead of hijacking someone else's... just a usefull tip...

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  • 1 year later...
philyabootz Newbie

philyabootz

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asking him if there any girls he is interested in wouldn't work as most closet gays would answer in the affirmative to continue hiding their sexuality. just touch him (not intimately) an arm or a pat on the back, I'm sure you find a reason and it will all be perfectly innocent. it's then how he responds. if he is interested the likelihood is he will touch you back in a similar manner.

if he doesn't respond at all (positive or negative) then wait a while and repeat the process but you will have to take it slowly. too much too soon could have an adverse effect, especially if he isn't gay. if he is I am sure he will welcome the attention and respond in kind.

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