IBelieve Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 She broke up with me in October but I have only been in NC for the last 8-9 days. My feelings seem to change hourly. Sometimes I feel confident. She broke up with me, right? I know where I am going to be in a year. I know it will take some hard work to get there but I WILL get there. It is her loss. However as hard as I try to fight it... as hard as I try to suppress my feelings, I still subconsciously want things to work out. I know this isn't healthy, especially as I am trying to get over her. It just takes so much energy and effort to bury all of my good memories of her. I want to take this time of NC to improve myself. I know I have to improve myself for me, not for her. At the same time I pray that when we eventually meet again she will notice the changes. How do I get rid of this hope? It is annoying the hell out of me. If I really improve myself do you think she will notice it? That question is completely out of whack though... if I want to change myself for myself then why would I care if she noticed or not? Link to comment
Dosed Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 It is tough, I know how you feel because I am in a very similar situation myself. What I keep telling myself is that I have been in this situation before, as have millions of people on this planet and it simply takes time. At present I'm taking some comfort in it because this is some free time to not feel the pressure of a relationship and allows us the opertunity to get back to that good place without a GF/BF in our life. I'm moving towards being pretty damned happy without her now. Time my friend, give it more time. Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Hehe that's why they call it "emotional rollercoaster"...1 hour on top of the world, 1 hour buried alive...don't worry - time will heal. As for the hope, I'm in your same position. I'm doing NC and getting fit and getting new clothes and haircut for ME...if she notices and comes back, that's good...otherwise, I'll (and you'll) still be a better-looking and more confident guy which is going to help anyways. You know, there's plenty of girls out there... Link to comment
IBelieve Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 Yeah its tough. This was the first relationship for both of us. She was right to end it because we weren't in a healthy relationship. I know tons of people have gone through this...it just feels so hopeless when the person who is going through it is you. I kind of take solace in telling myself that all I can do at the moment is improve myself in every way possible. If we don't fall in love again then I did everything I could and it just wasn't meant to be. Love is strange. Link to comment
thedude27 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 It was the same for me... ever watch the price is right? I think of it like this, you know when they spin that big wheel to see who goes the the showcase showdown? Well the analogy I thought of is each space on the wheel is a different emotional state at the beginning of the spin you are flying one after the other. As time goes on you still change back and forth but you keep the states a little longer till eventually you end up with your final state To start off it was literally every hour I felt differently...after a couple months I was switching every day or so, after 4 its like weekly but I can see that I'm going to end up finally on one point of view about things fairly soon. Link to comment
IBelieve Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 Interesting analogy... I wish I could just fast forward through all of this. Damnit! Link to comment
IBelieve Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Ah another mood swing. This time I am really pissed off.. and motivated at the same time. One of the main reasons she broke up with me is that I didn't take her out enough. She was spending more time with her coworkers and since they all have so much free time I guess not going out a lot with me was boring for her. I wonder if it ever dawned on her that I couldn't take her out because I was studying and I had other responsibilities. When I graduate I am going to live life to the fullest and make her regret her stupid decision.. growl! Link to comment
freefromu Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 It was the same for me... ever watch the price is right? I think of it like this, you know when they spin that big wheel to see who goes the the showcase showdown? Well the analogy I thought of is each space on the wheel is a different emotional state at the beginning of the spin you are flying one after the other. As time goes on you still change back and forth but you keep the states a little longer till eventually you end up with your final state wow, now i know what is going on with me, and that i am not alone. i am enlightened by "eventually you end up with your final state ". so when this happens, it will be what i want? i learned from another thread that as times go by, we only remember the good things and the bad things will disappear, unless our ex had done something really bad. what if we finally settle at the state that we still love our ex , but our ex don't feel the same way...that would be sad... today is my third day of NC, i almost text him "don't pout anymore..." , but half an hour ago, i hated him and am determined to get him out of my system. i guess i have to force myself to cool off more. same for him, i must bear with the NC until he is ready to patch things up, hopefully he will Link to comment
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