How Should I Interpret/Handle This?

[WhatSetsUs]

Well just yesterday I posted a thread titled "What do you make of this?"

It summarized my current situation a bit so you can look that up if you want, but now something has come up again and I need help interpreting it and figuring out how I should handle this.

 

To Briefly summarize: my ex girlfriend broke up with me a month ago because she couldnt handle the disrespect and mistreatment I had given her throughout the relationship. I was immature and ignorant to this and didnt realize how bad it was til it was obviously too late. After almost two weeks of no contact, my Ex and I began talking again. Things progressed well, we hung out a few times and she admitted that she still had feelings for me and wanted to get to the know the "new me." We were flirting and talking like we did when we first started getting to know each other. Well I rushed things too fast by making out with her on our third date, and since then she's stated that she isnt ready to move forward in that direction and that she's still very confused as to whether or not she's over what I did to her while we were together or if I have changed completely and permenantly. We agreed that we didn't want this to stop us from moving forward.

 

Since the kissing situation, I went limited contact on her, letting her initiate any conversations we have. She has been initiating consistanetly everyday since that incident but the conversations haven't been like the ones we had before all this happened. They are usually short, no flirting, no cute messages, nothing like before.

 

The next time we hung out, we went to dinner and it felt like I was being friendzoned: there was no flirting, no talk about us or our relationship, we joked like buddies, and everything felt like we were just friends. I was hurt even worse after this, cause I cant settle for being just friends with her.

 

So now I feel like she is trying to be just friends. Well yesterday she texts me and asks me if I would go to eat with her at one of our favorite restaurants some time this week. Mind you, this restuarant has a lot of history for us, she introduced me to it when we first started dating and we have been going their frequently over our relationship.

 

Well how should I look at this? Is this a good sign for me, in terms of getting back together with her? Is this just her being a friend and inviting me to a place we both love going to? Or does this mean that she is still thinking about me, and still wants to hang out in order to figure out what she wants? Can a person really go from one week admitting to having feelings for me and then place me as just a friend?

 

I agreed to go to dinner with her, so any ideas on how to handle it?

 

I'm in a pretty confused state haha.

 

Any advice or comments are welcome.

 

Thanks.

[Adge]

Looking good to me. Be yourself and don't bring anything up about the relationship unless she does.

[WhatSetsUs]

So you dont think I've ruined my chances by making out with her and scaring her back a bit?

[arg]

i dont think you ruined your chances, i think she's just taking things slower and not rushing into things, which is the right way to go about a situation like this. She admitted that there's still feelings for you so thats always a good thing. I think she wants to feel you out a little, see if you have changed. Try not to expect any kissy kissy or flirty flirty right now, it doesn't necessarily mean you're being friendzoned. Good luck!!

[ljp]

Just back off a bit and keep it really light. Good luck. I can't do the LC light thing, but kudos to those who can.

[WhatSetsUs]

Yeah I tried NC in the beginning and it was rough, really rough. But I managed for a while, and when I finally reemerged, she took control and admitted having feelings/wanting to get know me again. But LC and leaving conversation up to her is nearly just as bad. Its got me worrying about whether or not she's thinking about me or missing me like she had said just a couple weeks ago. Uncertainty is rough and is driving me crazy haha.

[WhatSetsUs]

Guys, I could really use some advice.

 

Its been a week since all the stuff in the original post went down, and since then things have been really down for me. We talk everyday, but its really been little dumb stuff, the exact kind of dumb small talk you would have with your friends. Although she did invite me to dinner this week she's said nothing about it since Monday.

 

Tonight I talk to her and I find out she's going to hang out at some guy's house. They've been hanging out a lot over winter break but with the company of other friends. I dont even know if they're going to be alone or anything, but its eating me up. I'm completely in a panic and terribly jealous.

 

With every passing day it feels like I'm getting put more and more out of her head. How could I have gone from getting her to admit that she still has feelings for me to barely talking to me anymore?! Keep in mind this was only two weeks ago.

 

I know that many of you who read this will just say back off and let things happen the way they happen. But I feel like I need to find out how she's feeling. So much of me wants to call her and ask her what she wants and what she's thinking about us.

 

So what am I to think? I want to believe that this is just her figuring out what she's looking for and helping her get her head straight.

 

Thats just me venting.

[SighSob]

That's the downside of LC. You get to know things you don't want to know that will eat you up...and overall you will start overanalyzing everything.

Unfortunately no one knows what's going on in your girl's mind...you can spend hours analyzing her behiavours/what she said/what she's done (and I'm sure you do) but you won't come to any SURE conclusion.

So my advice is...take it easy. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. If you feel like you can't handle LC now that she's "seeing" this other guy (which could mean anything! Not necessarily the worst case scenario...)...go back to NC.

Again, hope for the best (you'll get back together - this dude is just a friend) but prepare for the worst (she dumps you for this new guy).

[WhatSetsUs]

Yeah I really don't think she's seeing another guy. It would definitely be too soon and since we are going back to college next week it wouldn't make any sense. And yeah LC can send your mind for a whirl. Its like I like talking to her but at the same time it kills me that its just about dumb stuff and that I find things out that I dont necessarily want to know. I'm hoping that I'll find out how she's feeling about me over the week (we'll be in Ecuador together) and over the course of the next semester.

[WhatSetsUs]

Hey guys, I'd rather not post an entire new thread but I need some even more advice.

 

Well I had said that my ex invited me to dinner (that was on Monday) but has said nothing about it all week and now I'm postive we arent going to be going (we're going to Ecuador on Saturday and she's going to stay at a friends house tomorrow night before we go). Well this got me feeling really low and forgotten. It seems like I made great progress only weeks ago and now its all gone. It hurts because it feels like she is really moving on and leaving me all behind. Well I'm pretty much back at the day she broke up with me a month and a half ago in terms of how terrible I'm feeling.

 

I'm really hoping this trip to Ecuador will open my eyes to how she's feeling about me and what's going to be in store for us going into next semester.

 

I need an opinion in something I'm planning to do. I know this is really odd but I'm looking forward to the day we return home because my ex is going to drive me home from the airport and its about two and a half hours away from home. This is ample alone time and I'm thinking it might be the perfect time to talk to her about us. Do you think this is a wise decision? I want to ask her how she's feeling about us and see what she wants to do in the future in terms of our relationship (whether it be a friendship or something more).

 

I realize I may be thinking irrationally considering this is not what most people on here advise doing, but I feel like I need to know what she's thinking about us. If you read my past threads, I said that she admitted to having feelings for me and wanting to take things slow and re-get to know each other. But since then we've barely been talking and it seems like I'm losing what little pull I had with her.

 

Just looking for some advice. Thanks.