-Heartbroken-

[fuzzy18]

Hi everyone,

 

I thought my ex and I would have been together forever, but I’ve finally realized she never loved me the way I loved her. Realizing that is such a rude awakening and such a slap in the face. I’m so heart broken : (

 

Just a little background my ex and I. We dated for about a year and a half. Problems began early on the relationship due to her insecure and worrying nature. She would always accuse of wanting to be with someone else when I didn’t. She would always give me a hard time about eating with female coworkers even when there were other male coworkers present. When she would get angry she would say really harsh things towards me. Things like you are a mistake, go find someone else, I never want to marry you.

Then when things are good she always tells me how in love she is with me and how she wants to spend the rest of my life with and how she wants to marry me.

 

Although I am not perfect and have made mistakes, I just don’t feel those mistakes justify break up. The mistakes that I make are common every day small mistakes everyone would make unintentionally. Its not like I would cheat or lie to her. I was always affectionate with her, would always be there for her during tough times, do sweet things for her to let her know that I loved her like text her to say I love you and you are on my mind when out with friends or just throughout the day, but all of that wasn’t good enough.

 

Last night she told me that she no longer wants to be with me. She said that she doesn’t see marriage with me and is happier being alone. (Please note that she has been through one divorce) I ask her why? She says that although I’ve been her best boyfriend she has ever had and that we get along so well and so compatible she just thinks that she would wouldn’t be happy being married to me or married period. I ask her why she feels this way. She says because there are days when she doesn’t care to see me and is ok only seeing me 3-4 days a week and enjoys having alone time. She continues to say imagine if we were married I would have to see you everyday and I don’t think I can handle that. She also said if you were the right one should I want to see you everyday?

 

At this point im just completely heart broken and hurt. I tried telling her its normal to want your own time and that nobody wants to spend every single second of the day together. And I tell her that once you are married you adjust to each other compromise and be understanding of each others habits. Her response was I won’t be able to deal with your habits every single day and I’ll be miserable and I don’t want to make another mistake. I sitting here thinking my habits are not even bad. I don’t leave clothes on the ground, I relatively clean, I always help around the house. Its not like I sit there with a beer and watch tv all day long.

 

In the end she says, look I know you treat me very well and that I’m a great guy and I still love you. She says I just don’t see marriage with you. At this point I just lose it. I’ve just go tears running down my face and asking her to reconsider, but to no avail.

 

So I eventually leave her place half hour later I get a text and she says don’t lose any sleep over this. We’ll get through this. Don’t worry. At first I was shocked and happy, but I quickly realized that she is only doing this because she feels guilty for hurting me and that we would be in the same mess in a week or two. I don’t know what the text means or what her intentions are, but I know if I get back with her she will just hurt me again.

 

So I didn’t get any sleep last night and I just feel numb today. I feel like something inside is missing and that I have no direction in life. I guess what is missing is my heart. From the day I met her she stole my heart away and new that I would always love her. But deep down inside I know this is it. She doesn’t love me enough to marry me and if she does stay with me it’s only out of pitty. So I’m sitting here wondering what should I do now? What do I do with all these feelings that I have for her? How am I going to get through the pain

[Seymore]

Sounds like she wants different things than you. Sound like she's got some issues too. Insecurity, telling you that you're a mistake. Leave her alone. Go NC.

 

Sheesh, I wonder if her ex was the one calling for a divorce? And when she needs you, THEN she'll call you? No way, José. Stay clear of her.

[fuzzy18]

Sounds like she wants different things than you. Sound like she's got some issues too. Insecurity, telling you that you're a mistake. Leave her alone. Go NC.

 

Sheesh, I wonder if her ex was the one calling for a divorce? And when she needs you, THEN she'll call you? No way, José. Stay clear of her.

 

Sometimes i ask myself why i put up with her for so long? Was i in a abusive relationship?

 

Its hard to just walk away and not care when you love someone.

 

this is so hard

[Seymore]

Yeah, it's hard. But you're saving yourself a ton more health problems by walking away.

[davejsy]

yes it hurts, and it's going to hurt a whole lot more unfortunately, but it's best to be prepared for this. It's the most difficult thing in the world to let go of someone you love, and accept they don't feel the same way about you anymore. NC is the best and only way out of this for you, you never know what the future holds, but you need to start the healing process. Dealing with the thoughts/feelings/emotions/memorys is the hardest thing, but it's also that which makes us human. I found playing my guitar really helpful, even if it was mostly sad songs! Writing songs about how I felt helped get it out of my head. Working out also helps a lot of people, anything that helps distract you for even a brief minute is good. It will get easier, just be prepared to take the rough with the smooth!