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i think we just broke up.


labellaleah

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my bf has a tendency of disappearing when something isn't right between us. he knows it ticks me off but he does it every time anyway. we had some weirdness on thursday where i started crying for no good reason and he got frustrated because i couldn't explain why.

 

he avoided me all day friday and sent me a text about how he "didn't know what to say" so i told him not to say anything. later that night i texted and said that it was insane that he avoids me the way he does. he replied that he didn't want to have a conversation about feelings or have to reassure me of how he felt. the entire weekend went by - nothing. yesterday he calls me and we're talking about our day/weekend whatever...when he says that he talks about what goes on between us with his boys and female friends "to get a female perspective".

 

i texted him this morning and said it was insane that he could talk to other people about what goes on between US but he can't talk to me because he doesn't want to "talk about feelings". i sent him a text saying maybe i wasn't what he needed...and he said maybe we need to just be friends...i told him i'm not going to just be his friend. i can't do that...

 

i guess NC starts now. this whole year for nothing...gosh this sucks. :sad:

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it was just frustration from the whole week. he has this whole thing about being positive and happy about EVERYTHING. i've had an issue with my apartment and someone messing with my door and them saying i was doing it...he knew was was going on with that and how frustrated it was making me but i couldn't explain why i started crying when i did. it was like i couldn't vent to him because he'd say i was being negative but i was holding it all in...it built up.

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He has to realise that you're human and humans aren't going to be happy all the time.

I was in a similar relationship where if I ever vented anything that was bothering me, my boyfriend would ignore me. If I cried, he'd leave the room or tell me to shut up.

It's so not worth your time to be in a relationship like that. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you ignored him or told him to suck it up when he was feeling down.

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he won't sit down and talk to me, that's the problem. he was over here last night and he just went to sleep. he didn't say anything about it until i texted him earlier. he only talks thru text and email then says it's because it's the only way i communicate. when i want to talk - he's gone. it's hard because he's the first guy i've dated since i got divorced and it's been a year so i took all of this pretty seriously.

 

i hate that anything that i say about what i'm going thru = me being negative and if i want to discuss something it's automatically going to be an argument. i didn't think i'd have to be this old and deal with these issues...if we can't talk, there's no point.

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i don't think i've been insecure. he went on a trip to vegas and he told me about this girl that was going after him but he "wasn't feeling". about a month later he shows me texts in his phone and i see "erin from vegas" and i got upset. he said i had to be insecure to get upset over him getting some girls number in vegas.

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Wow, that's disrespectful of him to tell you he met a girl who wanted him, but that he just wasn't "feeling it". Doesn't that pretty much imply that he's open-minded to feeling "something" with another woman? I think your reaction to the text from this girl was normal. That's crossing a line for him to give you insult on top of injury, calling you insecure. How about he tries to reassure you with kindness and patience that nothing's going on, instead of insulting you into submission?

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i don't talk about "feelings" the way he says it. that's what he calls it whenever i want to discuss anything that comes up. it's not often - the last issue was the thing with the girl in vegas in oct/nov.

 

when i got upset over her he said he wasn't going to keep reassuring me that he wasn't going to do anything but that texting her whenever it was shouldn't matter because she's in vegas and he's over here and they haven't spoken in weeks. i know i wouldn't do something like that - so does he. that's why he knows he can tell me that i could do it because i'd have no desire to ever do that and be in a relationship.

 

we've been together a year today.

 

i know there have been red flags all over but it hasn't been easy knowing that we just can't talk on the same level. he's the first guy i've dated since the divorce, first guy i introduced to my kids...

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He is laying guilt trips on you to manipulate you into thinking that you're insecure or you're over emotional. Please don't see this man again. I've met enough guys like him to know he's a sh-- bag.

And I imagine it would be awful knowing that your kids met him and everything but wouldn't you rather them see that their mother is strong enough to get rid of someone who is a hinderance to her [ and possibly her family ] than watch her get abused daily?

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