longing for a relationship..friendship..anything!

[MyNinja]

H everyone,

 

Im your typical teenager who only has acquiantances and no friends...no boyfriend.. nothing. im not saying that it's important for an 18 year old to have a boyfriend, but it will be nice. i guess shyness is to blame or insecurity, but im trying will all my might to overcome it. i went online to get tips but nothing seems to work. what i don't understand is that none of my bros. and sis. have this problem. as a matter of fact they were popular in high school. am i a mutant? lol. i've been so caught up with worrying about my shyness that i know everything about the disorder. i know that it is inherited and can cause physical illness down the road. if thats the case then why were none of my sibilings shy? this is so annoying. i need help/advice so i can have a normal and fun social life. my typical weekend is as follows: sitting around listening to music, yelling at my stepsisters and brother, cleaning the house, doing homework (if any) and lastly listening to my granny yelling at me to "do right". sometimes i don't know what she is talking about. she says, " candace, you need to associate with people and stop being to bashful." What has she been thinking i've been doing this whole time? hiding in my closet? all this is fustrating. she's not making it any better for me. actually she's making it worse. she calls every night practically yelping in my ear to "get out". one time she came to my house to confront me about my social problems while i was cleaning the kitchen. them she made me play a piece on the piano. i felt like screaming.

 

sometimes at school i get so angry that i begin to cry, i dont want to go to class or do anything. the loneliness really bothers me. i mean, i talk to people and hang around them, but they seem distant and uninterested. i just don't know what to do. thanks for listening

[mahlina]

Hi Candace!

 

You kinda remind me of myself when growing up in high school. Except, in the beginning, I socialized a lot. I forced myself to. It was not natural for me, but I did it. My only piece of advice to you is that you sound like a mature lady for your age, and you know what you want, so you don't need to worry too much about what Granny says.

 

Friends will come and go. Especially those in high school. You are so cute when you describe your weekend, but that's just what a mature person does with her life. Just be glad that you're not trying to be a 'crowd pleaser', because some of those are among the ones who are teenage mothers.

 

Your true friends will come when you're not looking. Sometimes if you try too hard to meet friends/or boyfriends, it will only get you into more trouble. Because often times, the friends that you described earlier, are all in it for themselves. They're all about having fun, and finding themselves. They're confused, but you don't sound like that type. You sound like the type who knows what she wants.

 

Look on the bright side though, you're 18! That means that if you study your butt off, you can leave Fresno, and go away for college. That's where you'll find your true friends. I found friends who I can connect to, because we're condensed in the same classes, all achieving the same goals.

 

So, as for now, just hang tight. Stick with what you believe in. Don't let your grandmother's words get to you. She's just worried, but there's no need to. High schools is just an episode, in which you won't have to deal with again once you graduate. College is just around the corner! You'll find your friends.

 

P.S.- I know that Fresno's kinda....isolated, so in your situation it's a little tough to meet new people right, so try moving out for college. You might want to look into more urban areas in California such as UCLA, calstates: Long Beach, San Luis Obispo, PolyPomona, San Diego State; UCSD, UCSB, UCBerkeley: These schools are all virtually diverse (SDSU is much a party school though).

[Nifty_Swifty1]

You sound a lot like me, so I can speak from experience here, and I say you need to make yourself get out. My personal advice would be to go out and get involved in your church, but that's only because that's just who I am. Just find some place where there are going to be people to talk to. Find something you enjoy and find a place where you can meat people who enjoy the same thing.

 

Your grandmother is right in trying to get you out and about, but I would say that she isn't going about it very well. Just realize that she cares for you and take her advice even if she doesn't give it in a nice way.