Women approaching Men

[Cognitive_Canine]

But you are generalizing yourself by saying that everyone who says anything in a sort of derogatory way tells you everything you need to know.

 

I immediately understand that they have probably been hurt by one or two women in the past and have taken that hurt and redirected it against all women.

I dislike lots of different groups of people, not just women. I don't do it because I necessarily dislike them. That is actually something that has been thrust upon me on this forum. I do it because I think there is a need to critique behavior. To find ways to improve. Women approaching men might not be realistic but would be a step in the right direction if we can talk about it and be mature enough to say that in general one particular gender is usually at fault.

 

That's probably why you're single.

 

If you don't hate women, you really fooled everyone on this forum.

[ghost69]

if i'm attracted to the girl, it's very flattering.

 

it's the same reaction if i approached a girl, a chance you take.

[ProtestTheHero]

CP, you act as if approaching a woman is a painful experience.

 

"Putting himself on the line"? Seriously?

 

Asking someone out is not a big deal.

 

Also, I have met and dated an australian man, he followed the same dating rules as we do. He approached me in a book store and asked for my number on the cold approach.

 

It's not impossible for guys to do it because if I can do it everyone can, but it's much easier for women to approach men than the other way around. We aren't flanked by 2-3 men at all times, etc.

 

So no, for a woman it isn't a big deal because guys are much easier to ask out than women are because most will say yes if there's a chance at having sex. Pretty much all you need to do is look half-way decent.

 

And CP -- you can hate women and still date, bro.

[Bartok]

Well, I have no idea how I feel about it, because it's never happened

 

However, if women were suddenly actually willing to ask men out, I'm not so sure I'd like it. I mean, sure, if someone I'd like to go out with asks me out, I'd feel absolutely amazing. If someone I'm NOT interested in asks me out, which would probably be the case most of the time, I'd have to come up with lame excuses or just say "no", which would make me feel bad. I would appreciate the attention, but I think it would get old quickly as I have to say "no" over and over again. It would probably get annoying.

 

It's easy to say, "Women have it so easy, all they have to do is look pretty!" In reality, it isn't that simple. They have to deal with all the losers they aren't interested in giving them the attention they don't want. I do not envy their position, and I doubt they envy mine.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's not impossible for guys to do it because if I can do it everyone can, but it's much easier for women to approach men than the other way around. We aren't flanked by 2-3 men at all times, etc.

 

So no, for a woman it isn't a big deal because guys are much easier to ask out than women are because most will say yes if there's a chance at having sex. Pretty much all you need to do is look half-way decent.

 

And CP -- you can hate women and still date, bro.

 

First of all, rarely is a woman getting this amount of attention unless she shows all her goods while dressing.

 

And, almost all of these guys don't want to actually date her or take her seriously.

 

You assume it is easier for women. However, the genders are more alike than you think.

[CaptainPlanet]

First of all, rarely is a woman getting this amount of attention unless she shows all her goods while dressing.

 

And, almost all of these guys don't want to actually date her or take her seriously.

 

You assume it is easier for women. However, the genders are more alike than you think.

 

How do you know that ? Women think they know all men but they don't. Most just want to have a girlfriend. Women pass themselves around (for lack of a better word) with the top one or two males in a group and think that is what all men are like. Making it harder on all of us unfairly. I am so innocent, when I talk to a girl I just want to be 'special friends' not to go and have sex with lots of different women. I want to do the right thing by a girl because they say they want to have a relationship. So that is what I will do. But no I have to be treated like a cad. So do so other well meaning men. Then women complain like all men are bad. Well the problem is not men in this case it is women.

 

I think women do naturally approach men as well but that it is a rule that has been made up which says that they do not.

[CaptainPlanet]

In a perfect world I guess.There benefits in the real world out weigh the costs. An attractive woman only really has to say ' I think I want a boyfriend now' and she will have a tonne of offers on the table. Put up a dating profile and will have 100 messages to chose from. What will she do ? Delete them all and message the men she likes with 100% success rate. Even the most attractive men don't have that sort of capability.

[COtuner]

In a perfect world I guess.There benefits in the real world out weigh the costs. An attractive woman only really has to say ' I think I want a boyfriend now' and she will have a tonne of offers on the table. Put up a dating profile and will have 100 messages to chose from. What will she do ? Delete them all and message the men she likes with 100% success rate. Even the most attractive men don't have that sort of capability.

 

I disagree. I've met guys like that since I was in middle school until now. It just is the way life is.... occasionally I've been rejected by them, in fact. I could still give names to this day, LOL.

 

So they get to pick and choose.... there are a lot of lonely attractive women out there who can't find a guy they are COMPATIBLE with. (Look at Jennifer Aniston. All those dates, all those men, she ain't any better off than me and we're about the same age)

[CaptainPlanet]

I disagree. I've met guys like that since I was in middle school until now. It just is the way life is.... occasionally I've been rejected by them, in fact. I could still give names to this day, LOL.

 

So they get to pick and choose.... there are a lot of lonely attractive women out there who can't find a guy they are COMPATIBLE with. (Look at Jennifer Aniston. All those dates, all those men, she ain't any better off than me and we're about the same age)

 

I think you are allowed to have things that will exclude a person. But the compatibility talk can be used as a way for women to justify being extremely picky that does lead to problems.

[COtuner]

LOL Had to laugh at this. Does kind of reflect how big the pool of potential partners is and how complex attraction really is...

[COtuner]

I think you are allowed to have things that will exclude a person. But the compatibility talk can be used as a way for women to justify being extremely picky that does lead to problems.

 

See my response to Bartok

[dr_styles]

For being approached it really depends on your history. I'm in the never "this" or "that" category, so for someone to approach me I would find very very flattering.

 

For sure the whole thing on feeling flattered can be said for both sides but as talked about the generalisation of men "always" approaching a woman gives any woman that approaches a lot extra credit already.

[rbr85]

I would think they had some sort of psychological disorder, and I'd hope they didn't. Plus I'd feel very flattered.

[ProtestTheHero]

First of all, rarely is a woman getting this amount of attention unless she shows all her goods while dressing.

 

And, almost all of these guys don't want to actually date her or take her seriously.

 

You assume it is easier for women. However, the genders are more alike than you think.

 

What I said in reference to being flanked by dudes had nothing to do with attention...what I'm saying is that often when you ask out females in social settings MOST of the time they are constantly with several female friends whereas that's not as common with dudes. One on one is always easier then one on 3 where you're isolating one while trying not to totally bore the other two she's with because if she's a good friend she won't bail on them. If you don't think that that's harder, then I guess I got nothing else to say on that point.

 

I think it's kind of funny that when I say it's easier for women you call it an assumption, but when you make a broad statement like "guys don't want to date women who ask or take them seriously" it's obviously true. I already know that isn't true because I'd have no reason to not take a woman seriously just because she asked me out unless she did it in a crazy way. If I said something like that, women would call that an excuse. Hmmm.

[Batya33]

When I went to singles events I either went alone or went with one friend and separated from her shortly after getting there. I also went to singles resorts vacations by myself. I agree that it can be intimidating to approach a group of strangers and I never understood why women went to singles events and hung out with their friends.

[Vulcan800]

I am incredible shy.

 

A girl coming up and approching me would be wonderful!!!!

 

1. it would boost my ego

 

2. I would feel flattered

 

3. I would be like THANK GOD I don't have to make an A S S out of myself asking her out lol

 

4. I think it is hot for a girl to approach a guy Just as long as I knew seh just wasn't being * * * * y. If she came up to me in a nice HI how are you I would like to really get to know you way I would deff be like WOW well HI

 

My intial reaction probably would be of surprise as I don't get any girls really that come up to me.

 

If I saw she was real and cool I would deff make the most out of the opportunity

[Luke Skywalker]

Ideally I would like a woman to approach me, but I have a problem of freezing up when a woman is showing interest in me in public (obvious IOI's) or starts coming on to me. It feels as though my comfort zone is being challenged by a stranger and I feel overwhelmed and ultimately feel like I lost an opportunity after the fact and just kick myself. But I think that's an incel (involuntary celibacy)

thing.

[COtuner]

LOL I have no female "friends" so I'm with male friends when I'm out and about. Whole other series of problems, they assume I'm with someone....

 

Then again, I go most places alone, so there's plenty of opportunity for a guy if or when I am single again.

[agatha]

I think it's so funny that we end up discussing this in terms of "women have infinite possibilities" or "men are supposed to go for all", as if each of us saw a real potential partner every 35 minutes!

 

really! hot people (both genders) actually DO have a hard time pushing away people who only see their bodies. people that are not so hot have problems atracting potential partners because of these stupid primitive impulses that are not yet configured to make us react like radars in front of what we RATIONALLY believe to be our other half.

 

I still don't have the answer I was looking for very clear (here), and guess it will not come any soon. the question? "will women that start the pursuit ever have the same credit as one that was courted first?"

 

for what I see, in real life, daily basis? somewhere in the next ten years. why? that's a generation gap wide enough to bring those open-minded-equal-rights-demanding-guys to educate boys and girls alike to this new dating reality. I won't complain, I'm ready for some hunting (hold the rocks.... remember? equal rights? thanks).

[agatha]

LOL I have no female "friends" so I'm with male friends when I'm out and about. Whole other series of problems, they assume I'm with someone....

 

Then again, I go most places alone, so there's plenty of opportunity for a guy if or when I am single again.

 

girl, I'm so like you it's scary X D (except for the fact that for now, I AM single)

[CaptainPlanet]

Yes you will be taken seriously. I don't know how many times we have to say that women approaching men is acceptable. A lot of women already do.

 

As for equal rights, don't get me started. I think women are more than equal. Young women are already doing better than young men and a lot of bitter old people are punishing young men, and rewarding young women, for past actions.

 

My sympathy for good looking people does not exist. Pushing away people who are interested in you is not a bad thing. The benefits far out weigh the costs. Even showing up a job interview. There are a lot of hot women in good jobs. The whole thing is a bit of a joke if you are trying to argue that good looking people have it harder.

[COtuner]

girl, I'm so like you it's scary X D (except for the fact that for now, I AM single)

 

LOL I was thinking that too with your posts. I feel less weird now

[dr_styles]

Now that I think of it, I've never seen 1st hand a woman ever show or talk about interest in a guy. I admit I don't go out much, but on a lot of occasions I've walked passed guys who happen to talking about this sorta stuff (or the rare times when out with mates), but I've never heard women do the same.

 

Now that I think of it that might be adding to the hesitation, because I'd be the only person at the current environment/place/time to be doing anything of the sort.

[COtuner]

Only time I have ever openly seen women asking men was in college. Seemed to be kind of 50/50 back then.

[ghost69]

Only time I have ever openly seen women asking men was in college. Seemed to be kind of 50/50 back then.

 

i have it happen all the time.