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I think it's finally time...


reallyforlorn

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My boyfriend and I have major issues, I did a post just last night about one of them ( ) and I tried to discuss it with him today but it just led to a big fight with him saying things are my fault again and I think I'm actually through with him. I have tried to break up with him in the past but he always pulled the sobbing you're the love of my life and I'm nothing without you routine to make me stay.

 

Then once we're back together he'll throw it in my face that I wanted to leave him and tell me what a horrible thing that is and imply that I'm a horrible person for it. Just makes me feel like I should have left afterall.

 

So now I'm going to leave for good, he's made it clear that this relationship doesn't mean enough to him to try and work on his problems or even admit he has them so I'm going to leave and find someone who will. Hopefully someone that doesn't even have his problems to begin with.

 

Here is my dilemma: I'm living in Georgia right now but I'm originally from Texas (I moved here for him) I don't have any good friends here and I can't find employment anywhere so what am I supposed to do? My boyfriend controls all the money (when I had a job I made more than him and gave it all to him to deposit in his bank account as I don't have my own).

 

So now I want to leave him but I have no money, no local friends and I'm halfway accross the US from my family. What can I do? He won't give me the money to leave, that I already know from past experience, he'll force me to stay here with him because I don't have any other option. My family can't afford to send me any money or come and get me so I'm at a loss for what to do.

 

I can't be trapped here with him, have him force me to stay and then tell me how messed up I am that I ever wanted to leave. ](*,)

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Can you pull the money out of his account before you tell him?

 

Do you have enough money for a bus ticket or cheap airfare home? Southwest sometimes has one way flights for under $150. As long as your folks can get to the airport, you'd be ok.

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Sigh I don't have any friends that he doesn't know, I'm a shy person not good at making friends. And when I said my family is poor I mean everyone in my family, I've tried contacting them before, the only one who might possibly have the money to "rescue" me of sorts is my older brother but he's too self centred to. My boyfriend isn't and never has been physically abusive so my family I guess doesn't see any rush to get me away from him even though I'm really unhappy.

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Can you pull the money out of his account before you tell him?

 

Do you have enough money for a bus ticket or cheap airfare home? Southwest sometimes has one way flights for under $150. As long as your folks can get to the airport, you'd be ok.

The only money I have that isn't in his bank account is a dollar and some change, I don't think that is going to get me far. I can't really take money out of his account without him knowing about it, we only have one car so when it's here that means he's here as well, and he doesn't let me drive very often so he'd be suspicious if I just took the car without saying anything to him. Plus couldn't I get arrested for trying to withdraw money from an atm when his is the only name on the account? I thought they had like video cameras to ensure that the person withdrawing the money is the account holder.

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Are you married to this guy? Reading from your previous posts you refer to him as boyfriend then later on as husband. If that's the case, you can withdraw money from the account in my eyes.

My dad "married" us in a small ceremony but my dad is a self appointed minister and it wasn't legal so after awhile we stopped considering ourselves married (my parents still do, another reason they won't help me leave him) and just considered ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't have his last name and we have no legal marriage certificate so in my eyes we're not.

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Are you married to this guy? Reading from your previous posts you refer to him as boyfriend then later on as husband. If that's the case, you can withdraw money from the account in my eyes.

In fact the last post where I referred to him as my husband was 2 years ago, not too long after we'd been together. That was back when I had a problem with porn as well but as you call tell from my post on the sex issue that I've gotten past that.

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Actually even though we had a huge fight this morning and he hung the phone up on me like 5 different times, when he finally got home he wasn't upset at all and seemed to expect me wanting to leave him. He said that he wants to remain friends with me is that a good thing?

 

The part that I'm not really comfortable with is that he wants to move to Texas with me, he says nothing is holding him here and he thinks he might have more opportunities out that way and he figures we could help each other out with bills at first, I guess as roommates. But I'm just worried that he wants to move because he's hoping we'll get back together and honestly I'm afraid that without a clean break we might.

 

I do love him but I just can't stay in this relationship the way it is and has continued to be for so long and I don't think people ever really change, some of his problems he might not even be able to change. I guess I just want a fresh start with someone who is a better match with me, if I can find such a person. But I'm afraid if he moves with me that it would cause difficulties. He might get jealous if I try to date.

 

Although this would make my financial concern on how to get there much easier and if things didn't work out as friends or roommates once we got there he could always leave right?

 

What do you guys think?

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