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It's pretty outside


Gracelove

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I'm so emotional all of the time now. Happy things make me cry, and sad things make me cry.

 

And it's not a little tear here and there, it's full on crying.

 

I'm think my period is close by.

 

I just feel like laying in bed and crying, but I can't.

 

Anywho, my parents will be here shortly, that's great. I don't know why that makes me feel like crying.

 

But I don't want them to know I've been crying, because they are going to think I'm depressed.

 

But I'm not depressed, nothing should be wrong with crying and feeling sad. It happens sometimes.

 

I'm wondering if it's all of this caffiene I've been drinking.

 

I want to see my parents, but then I want to be alone to cry. Maybe I'm feeling overwhelmed I don't know.

 

I know my mom is going to ask me if I've called that lady about my class, so I better do it now.

 

I was supposed to mail some packages for them, but it's been the farthest things from my mind. So I'll probably have to hide them in my car and run them to the post office.

 

I don't want them to come home and feel disappointed, because that'll make me cry.

 

I don't know, it's weird. I feel sad, but at the same time I'm enjoying the day.

 

It's so beautiful, it's my favorite kind of day. The sky is clear and blue, the sun is out, and it's cold and breezy. It doesn't get any better than that.

 

Life is just so sad. So very sad. I wish it weren't that way. Sometimes it's a bit much.

One must admit. There are just so many tragedies, and so much evil. It's absolutely ridiculous, but this is the world we live in.

 

It's been made by us and the choices of those before us.

 

When everyone lives for themselves things become really messed up.

 

I can't believe I have the rest of my life to live.

 

I'm going to have children one day, then I'll have to be around until they grow up, and so on. It's just so depressing, so long.

 

I feel like I'll be totally worn out by the time they are 10. I mean how much sorrow can a person take.

 

How much living can you find to do in this life.

 

you constantly have to hold your head high, even when things are far from being great.

 

It's so tiring.

 

You know what I've realized? I never thought I'd be one to grow old. I just never really pictured that in my mind.

 

Never.

 

Why is life so long?

 

70 or 80 years is so far from now. And I'm only 25.

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Think of how many wonderful things there are left in the world. Puppies, kittens, kisses from a child, graduations, love, good food, sunny days, friendships, good music, your favorite restaurant, I could go on and on. Bad things will always be a part of the world, so will good things. Which do you want to fixate on? The good or the bad. That is up to you. It is still a beautiful world if you look through my eyes. I see the bad, but notice the good outnumbers and outpowers it.

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