bmwm3 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 So i have written about the person i meet that lied about her age... will we went to dinner on friday... prior to going out we talked about 5 hrs on the phone.. we got along great, had lots in common, laughed, i did get a hint that she was a little princess.. with her attidute... so friday i meet her at a resturant.. i get there 5 min early, place was really busy.. so i go in and put our name down for a table... then she is still not there.. so i walk over to the bar and get a drink... at this point she arrives.. we say HI.. first thing she says to me.. is were you at the bar by yourself..i am like yeah, she goes thats weird you should of waited for me in the car... i am like what, are you kidding me.. i took at as a little rude.. and something maybe best if kept to yourself.. this made me get a little pissed off, and in a bad mode.. i hate rude people.. i was there to have a good time and get to know her better... then i try to hug her, as i was saying hello. as i always do... and everyone is ok with that.. she pulls away.. and tells me.. that she comes from a cold family who never huged so she is not touchy feely, fine i understand.. so basically, at this point, i am like i am wasting my time, and the date just went down hill... i was dissaponited, because we had lots in common, laughed, she was gorgeous, we were both looking forward to hanging out... but as soon as she did that.. i became neg, and felt i would just be fooling myself. into accepting her behavoir.. i dont think i over reacted, but how could things go so different, maybe she was nervous, or just wasnt meant to be.. any thoughts... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 you jumped the gun with all of the positives she had. you expected too much from her i think. huge let down looks like. she probably wanted you to wait for her to get there so she didn't have to walk in alone. weird she said that. i've waited at a bar by myself, was never an issue. forget her. no hug Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 you jumped the gun with all of the positives she had. you expected too much from her i think. huge let down looks like. she probably wanted you to wait for her to get there so she didn't have to walk in alone. weird she said that. i've waited at a bar by myself, was never an issue. forget her. no hug Oh she is forgetting already... no sweat... yeah the issue wasnt that she had too walk in by herself... but the fact that i waited for her by myself... its inconcivable for her to sit at a bar by herself.. too weird... she is weird... its not like i went there by myself all night.. but i waited, what am i suppose to do. bring my boys along on a date... ya no hug.. she is a cold person.. not feeling that... but she looked so much better then i remembered... girls were coming up to her all night giving her compliments.... LOL well next.... Link to comment
Mutley Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 CLASSIC example of why nothing matters until the face to face meeting. There are those on this board that totally disagree with me on this, fine....but I firmly believe this. Nothing matters until then....it's all false intimacy. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 prior to going out we talked about 5 hrs on the phone.. we got along great, had lots in common, laughed My .02 (from lots of personal experience) Next time, don't spend this long on the phone (or chatting online) with someone prior to meeting. Keep those initial contacts brief -- mostly just to arrange a time and place to meet in person. This will prevent you from building up a lot of expectations. I found out the hard way that I can have great chemistry with just about anyone on the phone, (It's the same ability that made me a really good radio DJ) but in-person chemistry is much more elusive and difficult, and it's rare -- for me -- that great phone chemistry translated to great in-person chemistry. Unless you're planning on a "once removed, never see each other" relationship, the in person interaction is far more important than great phone conversations. Invest your time accordingly. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 lame. I can't believe she questioned you for sitting at the bar and having a drink while you waited for her. Yeah, how weird! I can't help thinking from the way she wouldn't hug you and said she came from a cold family that never touches, that she would be a total prude in bed. NEXT Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 It seems weird and controlling that she told you that you should have waited in the car- * * * ? Link to comment
KG Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 It seems weird and controlling that she told you that you should have waited in the car- * * * ? That's what I was thinking too....next! Link to comment
jaysfan2000 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 CLASSIC example of why nothing matters until the face to face meeting. There are those on this board that totally disagree with me on this, fine....but I firmly believe this. Nothing matters until then....it's all false intimacy. Agreed. Face to face can negate any vibes, positive or negative, gotten from phone/email discussions. That's why I try my hardest to expedite meeting face to face so that I don't waste time with emails/calls/texts. If you don't click face to face, there's no chance. No hug is surprising. If someone told me that when I went to hug them, even if they had a legitimately good reason for not doing it, I'd be a little turned off as well. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I think she's the weird one for expecting you to wait in your car! If I'm meeting a guy for dinner and beat him there I'll go in and sit at the bar and wait. I'm not waiting in the flippin car, that's weird. Anyway, she sounds like shes a bit of a stuck up ..... Don't sweat it. It would end up being a bigger headache later on. NEXT. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 I think she's the weird one for expecting you to wait in your car! If I'm meeting a guy for dinner and beat him there I'll go in and sit at the bar and wait. I'm not waiting in the flippin car, that's weird. Anyway, she sounds like shes a bit of a stuck up ..... Don't sweat it. It would end up being a bigger headache later on. NEXT. agreed.. already moved on.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 did she even call your phone before she walked in to see if you were in your car? i bet she didn't. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 wow if a girl that i thought i clicked with really well backed up from me that way i would be like W T F??? you gotta have some sort of contact or affection for it to go anywhere. Im a very affectionate touch feely person so if this happened to me i would cut her! see what her explanation is when or if you talk to her again. My family and I arent affectionate either. we never hug or any of that family stuff but when im trying to get to know someone or dating someone its the oposite. If she was really interested i would think that she would have liked the touchy feely.... Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 did she even call your phone before she walked in to see if you were in your car? i bet she didn't. she texted.. oh its busy here... as she was parking.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 she texted.. oh its busy here... as she was parking.... she's weird. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 she's weird. yeah, but she is so hot.... great i am shallow... lol Link to comment
Stars_n_Guitars Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 gosh, i'm not going to be so hard on the girl as all you are! i think that waiting and meeting in the parking lot would seem less awkward. Maybe she would have been more open to a hug if you had met her in the parking lot. I understand her completely with the hugging thing. I find hugs uncomfortable and easier to give with time. You don't think you should go for a second date? meet her in the parking lot, try to hug her there? Was the conversation good on the date? Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 gosh, i'm not going to be so hard on the girl as all you are! i think that waiting and meeting in the parking lot would seem less awkward. Maybe she would have been more open to a hug if you had met her in the parking lot. I understand her completely with the hugging thing. I find hugs uncomfortable and easier to give with time. You don't think you should go for a second date? meet her in the parking lot, try to hug her there? Was the conversation good on the date? Its over.... no more second dates.... Link to comment
cutiepie07 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 To me, the most logical thing to do would be to wait inside at the bar. Why would she want you to wait in the car? Maybe she figured you would get hit on by other girls or something, I don't know. As for the hug, a bit odd, but some people just don't hug people right away, they need to be more comfortable. But that combined with the car thing just makes her sound strange. Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Maybe you should have spoken about this beforehand, like if one of you gets there first you will wait for the other by the bar. That way she'd have known. Maybe you didn't think it was important. I don't know... So what happened? She got there, was parking, texted you, did you text back and then tell her you were by the bar so she came in? She sounds like she's insecure and doesn't like walking into a place on her own. I don't think you should be so hard on her for no hug though. I mean, if she says she has never had any affection from her family then she is just not used to hugs. I'm from a family where we don't hug. Friends hug me now and I don't care about getting hugs, but it sounds like she's really not used to it. Of course the way she said it does sound offputting. I imagine she would loosen up over more dates. I know you don't want to date her again but I'm shy and I think it takes me a while to loosen up and get chatty with someone new. Go check out the shyness forum as there are a lot of people like that. But at the end of the day we can't all click with everyone and you learn from your mistakes, so just move on and I'm sure you'll meet someone you are more compatible with next time. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Think I'd have left immediatley....lol. Sounds a right prude. Had there been an attraction, I reckon she wouldn't have minded the hug, shy or not, used to hugs or not. I mean it was a sign of affection on your behalf and that affection would have been returned had she felt it. I met a guy of recent, face to face and first time and I sure as heck didn't tell him to 'back off' when he hugged me.....in fact I couldn't keep my hands off him LMAO, I was drawn to him instantly. Agree with others when they say, people online aint always what they seem and they can be very different in real life. Link to comment
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