sick of my aunt

[timetogrow]

I think one of my aunt is annoyingly gossipy. There is always grin on her face when she talks to us but i can consciously discern she is not what she seems to be.

 

When i was in a relationship with my ex, a chinese-malaysian lady, she was very curious to find out what's going on between she and me.

 

She would call my mom to spy on my relationship with my ex. Because my family was not doing well financially, she told my mom that i shouldn't have started the relationship considering my ex was from well-off family background and i was not. My ex didn't think it a problem at all. She probably has the bureaucratic view of life.

 

When my mom was ill and we waited for her outside the ward. She accused me of planning to settle in Malaysia with my ex, which i never thought of and which i wasn't willing to. She said "so you wanna go to malaysia and make big money? why are you such a fool or something like that...

 

I didn't answer her. actually i totally ignore her. I was more concerned with my mom than paid any attention to her.

 

My ex and i broke up with other reasons, nothing to do with our different financial background. My aunt will certainly think that my ex is rich and she won't come and live in china with me. She must be silently happy about it i guess.

 

Now whenever i think of her i feel sick in my stomach. i don't wish to meet her in person and i avoid meeting her too. what do you think i should do?

 

Any advice will be appreciated. thanks for listening.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

You unfortunately can choose your friends, but not your relatives.

 

If she is old, perhaps her own life is so dull that she enjoys getting involved in other people's lives to spice up her own existence, or because she is lonely.

 

But at her age, she is not going to change her personality. She also probably won't live all that much longer, so you need to learn to just tune her out like any unpleasant noise, and don't let her negativity get to you. If she brings something you don't want to talk about up, just change the subject, or get up and leave the room. She can't make you talk about anything you don't want to, so just don't play her game.

 

Also recognize that she doesn't hold any power over you that you don't grant her, so don't take anything she says to heart. Just tune it out and change the subject.

[timetogrow]

thank you bestrongbehappy.

 

No, she is not old. I don't now exactly how old she is. but i guess she is no more than 50. She is not lonely. i think she did it simply because she likes gossipping about other people.

 

yes, i never talked to her about my relationship because i think it is my privacy. It's my father who always talks about my relationship with my ex and my aunt learned it from my dad. i have decided not to talk anything about my personal life in my family. no one will know it from now on. I hate it when people talks about my personal life. Thanks anyways for your advice.