Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

[annie24]

PS - I think why she's doing it now is that our insurance at work just very recently started covering sex reassignment surgeries (pre-Caitlyn Jenner). It turns out that she will still have to pay a lot because there aren't doctors in our network who perform the surgery. But, at least it's something.

[sleepingdonut]

I've only met one transsexual, and it was recently. He became a she and was very open about why and so on. I can't say I fully understand it because for me it's just going against nature, but hey whatever floats your boat I say. I know these people are going through a huge change themselves, but the whole transition affects many people that are in their lives.

 

 

I think the best way to understand it is to imagine if you woke up tomorrow and you were in a man's body. After a surprising moment of looking in the mirror, you'd have a constant sense that everything is all wrong. Presuming you like men now, you wouldn't call yourself gay if you were in a man's body, but rather you'd think of yourself as a female with the wrong exterior. The fact is, nature sometimes screws up, as can easily be seen in all manner of examples. And sometimes you get a brain that works like one gender in the body of the other gender. These people have difficult lives because it takes so much of an investment to reshape their body so that it matches their mind. But it's either that, or they hide or resign themselves to feeling wrong all the time.

[annie24]

PPS - Also because she is an international worker, she will have to change the name on her visa. I don't know, that just sounds complicated to me! I would probably just go by "Chris" and then that's a lot less to explain. Especially in science because her papers say, "Chrissy Smith" and now she is changing it to "Bob Smith." This is also why i won't change my name when I am married, lol. I guess it's less complicate for a woman to explain her new name is her married name. Still, I wouldn't change my name professionally.

[petite]

I think the best way to understand it is to imagine if you woke up tomorrow and you were in a man's body. After a surprising moment of looking in the mirror, you'd have a constant sense that everything is all wrong. Presuming you like men now, you wouldn't call yourself gay if you were in a man's body, but rather you'd think of yourself as a female with the wrong exterior. The fact is, nature sometimes screws up, as can easily be seen in all manner of examples. And sometimes you get a brain that works like one gender in the body of the other gender. These people have difficult lives because it takes so much of an investment to reshape their body so that it matches their mind. But it's either that, or they hide or resign themselves to feeling wrong all the time.

 

I understand they lead difficult lives, and absolutely I understand they don't feel comfortable in one gender's body, but for me personally it's just hard to really understand how they feel. I can't fathom how difficult it must be for them to not feel comfortable in their body. It is sad the inside does not match the outside, and it is good they have a chance to transition into the gender they feel suite them.

 

However, I just can't say I'd be perfectly OK If someone in my family were to do it, I'd feel like I was losing the person I've always known. I realize it isn't about me, but I think it does affect everyone around this person. Again, they must be true to themselves, but it just sucks they aren't comfortable with the gender they were born.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[petite]

So, will she have to explain to everyone that she is now a man instead of a woman because of the name change?

Hopefully there won't be a lot of discrimination.

 

 

 

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[annie24]

but it just sucks they aren't comfortable with the gender they were born.

 

Gender is how you feel on the inside, and sex is what your body parts are. I didn't really realize the difference until recently when I started doing some animal studies and we never talk about the gender of the mice, only the sex (who knows if there are mice that feel like they are in the wrong body??) Sure, there's homosexuality in animals, but I don't know if they have notions of gender. (probably not, hahah. Maybe the higher primates do). I don't know, I'm not an animal biologist.

[annie24]

So, will she have to explain to everyone that she is now a man instead of a woman because of the name change?

Hopefully there won't be a lot of discrimination.

 

 

 

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yeah, i guess so.... though she said she may hold off on the legal name change. I can see how difficult this can be with visa issues - those are hard enough on their own!!

 

I read some study today that people are discriminated against when they disclose that they have a disability in their cover letter compared to those who don't.

 

 

 

In the New York Times today.

 

(Not that Chrissy has a disability, but it's something she has to go up against. Luckily, she told her boss and he was supportive which is very good. Her boss is an older man, getting closer to retirement, so it's good he was open minded about this and supportive.)

[petite]

It's great she has a supportive boss.

 

Oh and yes, I've heard of people being discriminated because of disability, and mental health issues too. I remember years ago one of my coworkers did not disclose he had ADHD to the company when they were hiring him. Luckily it worked out for him, but I've heard a lot of people with various disabilities try and hide it as much as possible until they get the job, and even after because they fear being rejected.

With this guy in particular even when the bosses found out they tried to keep it hush hush because they didn't want clients to find out as they might not want to work with him. It's sad, but a lot of people don't want to risk hiring someone with a disability as it may (in their opinion) cause issues with clients. I get it, but do not agree with that. I find that extremely discriminatory, judgmental and sad. If they are capable of doing the work, of course they deserve to be hired.

 

 

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[annie24]

And ADHD doesn't even sound like that big of a deal to me, as long as he is managing it, taking meds, etc.... I mean, everyone has *something.* Whether it's mental health issues, or maybe they have a sick child so they have to leave work early frequently or they have an aging parent, you're never going to find the perfect employee who is single, has no family, and has 48 hours a day to dedicate to work. I really think that as long as someone with a spinal cord injury can type, they can do about 90% of my job. And I definitely feel like a lot of people I've worked with are somewhere on the autism spectrum. Not that I can diagnose people, but I've definitely run into my share of people with odd personalities in science. But they still do their jobs well, so what if they are not the most popular person in the office? sigh...

[thejigsup]

I was the AD for a tutoring clinic for many years. Our best tutor was the Director's daughter. She is bipolar with Schizo Affective Disorder. She was the best employee ever! Always on time, conscientious about the quality of her work, and always willing to go the extra mile for us. She was priceless! She is still a good friend and we see each other all the time. Just a gem of a person. No one will hire her because of her condition. That's a shame. They're missing a good one.

[petite]

Items you need:

MAC eyeshadows in "all that glitters" and "sable" - I've had these for a while and only recently got back into wearing them. They work so well with dark eyes. I've got all sorts of eyesnadow brands ,but always keep ging back to MAC. (I have the Urban Decay Naked pallets and hate how shimmery they are.)

Maybelline lash sensational mascara in blackest black

Nivea lip butter (raspberry and vanilla are my favories)

Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade - I'm a convert after saying No way too many times.

 

Last, but certainly never the least

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[annie24]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]10796[/ATTACH]Done!! I think I might already have that brow wax (I have to check) but I bought the other items you told me. I do like the mascara, it is nice!! The lip butter is nice too. The nutella is gone, haha. Haven't had a chance to hit up the mac counter yet but I will.... Thanks!![ATTACH=CONFIG]10795[/ATTACH]

[petite]

Good work! I find once the mascara dries up a bit it's even better. Also, use the shorter curved part first then comb them with the longer bristles. I wore that mascara while we were in Europe and you can see in my pics on the boa how nice and long they look lol. I used to be EOS obsessed (still am) but this lip butter is so nice and I particualrly love to apply it when I'm about to go to bed so my lips are hydrated for the morning.

 

 

There was something else I wanted to recommend, but for the life of me can't remember now. It will come to me, lol.

 

Enjoy the wine!

[annie24]

yes, tell me when you remember! Thanks for all the suggestions. I was having a crappy day when you posted that, and going out and getting those things cheered me up.

[petite]

Aww I am sorry to hear you had a crappy day, I know how that feels. Sometimes retail therapy DOES HELP!

[annie24]

Yeah, things have been just insanely busy at work. I guess it's a good thing though. I'm writing part of a paper with my ex-boss right now - it's funny how in academia, there are no clean splits, haha. I'm just glad I'll be getting credit. So, I'm working on that today. Yesterday was the first day off I've had in weeks. The plus side about working on a weekend is that no one is interrupting me, which is really crucial when I'm trying to write or think deeply about a problem. But, at least it's quiet and peaceful. I have a lot to get done in the next few weeks, just gotta keep working. I'm still going to the gym about 3 times per week in the small group training. My weight has only gone down a little, but all of my clothes are looser. Gotta watch the calories. But I'm sleeping a lot better, not having sleep problems like I was last year.

 

I was up until about 2 AM doing laundry last night. So was my cute neighbor down the hall. Saturday night fun times, haha! Actually, I went out earlier with friends, but I decided after I came home that the laundry needed to be done, end of story. I chatted a little with him. He works at my university in another department. He's very friendly and cute, definitely my type. Maybe single if he's doing laundry on a saturday night like me? He said he was up because he had some work to get done.

 

Not much new on online dating. Some guys are just boring, and I'm not sure how to engage with them to get something of substance out of them. Like their profile is nearly blank, and when I ask them to tell me about themselves, I get "I like the outdoors and movies..." sigh. So, no one is really hugely promising right now....

 

I have jury duty this week! Wish me luck!!

 

PS - Talk about scary - my friend Charlene was in Paris last week during the terrorist attacks. She was there for a conference and was a few blocks away from the nightclub with the hostages. She was out at a restaurant just finished dinner, the staff locked them in once they found out what was happening. And then when they were allowed to leave, she couldn't catch a cab so wound up spending the night at the hotel where the restaurant was. She was ok, but wow, I can't imagine.

[annie24]

PPS - In some good news, Carol has been seeing a new guy for over a month. I haven't met him yet, but he sounds great. He's definitely acting more "boyfriend-like" at 1 month than Bill ever did at 8 months. She's not head-over-heels for this guy, but I think that's a good thing, particularly based on how things turned out with Bill and the guy before him (two guys were she was insanely gaga over them and they were like... meh)

[Ms Darcy]

Good for Carol! And thank goodness Charlene is OK.

[annie24]

So, I got a call from Lila last night. If you remember, she was pissed at me when I didn't answer the phone when she called 2 months ago (when I was either asleep or busy). She called me crying had a fight with her new boyfriend. Lila sounded drunk. She said that she was calling me before because her mom has terminal cancer (which she texted me later). She said the doctors don't know how long mom has, it's maybe a few months or a few years. Lila said she is upset and cries everyday and the bf is saying she needs to stop using that as an excuse for being down in the dumps. Now, I don't know, I obviously wasn't there, I don't know what's going on. She just needed someone to talk to. She called me because she said I'm the only person she knows who has lost a parent. So we talked for a while. I told her to try to enjoy the time with her mom, as much as is left. I suggested she move back here, but she's hesitant. Her mom is from where I live now. There are lots of job prospects for Lila here. Lila whispered to me that she is in love with her boss (who has a gf) and wishes she could marry him. *groan* wow, bad choice. sigh. We talked for a while but eventually I had to get going. I feel bad, it sucks. Her mom is under some experimental therapy, so maybe it will help, or at least give her a few years instead of a few months. She said her mom is in good spirits and you wouldn't even know she is sick, so that is actually very good to head. Lila says she has come out here several times to take care of her mom and says that her dad is taking good care of mom too.

 

Other than that, I'm ok. I'm dog sitting this weekend, need to go let him out soon. He's a fun dog, senior but still lots of energy. I've been working a lot too, but plan to take saturday and sunday off, I hope! I need to go into work tonight to check on an experiment.

[Ms Darcy]

Sometimes Annie, I get the distinct impressions some of your friends think you a doormat.

[annie24]

Sometimes Annie, I get the distinct impressions some of your friends think you a doormat.

 

Because of Lila or because of dog sitting? The person I'm dog sitting for helped me assemble my furniture when I moved so I feel like it's fair.

[Ms Darcy]

Because of Lila or because of dog sitting? The person I'm dog sitting for helped me assemble my furniture when I moved so I feel like it's fair.

 

Because of Lila getting mad at you for not answering the phone.

[annie24]

I guess that she was really upset and just found out about her mom's cancer and wasn't being her best self. But then she didn't call me again until she had the fight with her new bf. I'm giving her leeway on that. I definitely don't feel like we are as close at all as before. We used to hang out all the time but to be honest, I don't feel as close anymore. She suggested I visit her over the summer and was like 'eh.'

 

I remember when I took my foreign big trip a few years ago, Lila pretty much avoided me and didn't ask me a single question about it, whereas most other people were like, "wow, that's exciting, where are you going, are you going to see this landmark...?" I think she was jealous but I don't really understand where this jealousy comes from. Carol is like this too, but only when it comes to manuscripts. She's a very supportive and loving friend, but if I tell her I got a manuscript submitted or accepted for publication, she just says that she needs to get more publications (not like, "wow, congrats!") I think in that regard, it's kind of about Carol feeling insecure that she hasn't made enough progress and she knows she isn't her boss' "favorite."

[annie24]

blarg. Carol's new dude just informed her that he doesn't want a relationship, despite saying things to the contrary just a few days ago. He said he's happy to just "date" however. blah. super lame. She wonders if it was something she did "wrong" but I don't think so. People just can lose interest quickly, particularly in new relationships. ugh. At least we have our trip together coming up soon so she can look forward to that.

[Ellie2006]

Is Carol ok with "just dating"? Hope she doesn't settle for crumbs...

 

Have fun on your trip!

 

 

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