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Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal


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hahaah!! me too!! i've been looking at my own recipes. I bought fish sauce last night. sounds disgusting but I guess it is supposed to help the flavor of thai dishes. i made a red curry with chicken and butternut squash. that's dinner tonight.

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I think because you use public transport and laptops are pretty heavy a backpack would be better due to all the extra weight you have to carry around.

It's really a lot of strain to carry it on one shoulder. Plus if you take your laptop when you travel this is also great for carry on luggage and you don't have to carry it all on your shoulders, be in pain and uncomfortable while going through checkout switching from one shoulder to the other.

 

I quite like this one from the site you posted link removed

 

I'd carry that.

 

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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link removed

 

Right now, this is the backpack I have, but in green. But it's getting old and beat up, I've had it for 5+ years now. It's been everywhere and has some rips in it too. I think it's time to retire it. It's also a little bigger than I really need, but is great for things like putting groceries in my backpack and walking home.... I wouldn't want to do that with a nice backpack.

 

But you're right petite - I do like that classic black one, and it's probably the right size for me and looks the most professional for a backpack.

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I remember when I was in grad school and decided to buy a lighter laptop it made a world if difference in my quality of life (no more back pain!)

 

I've always liked the convenience and comfort of the casual 'student' look that academia allows you to maintain, even after you've already graduated/started working. I've always been a huge fan of backpacks. I have a Northface backpack too and I love it.

 

On any given day, I probably carry less than you (both volume and weight) but my macbook fair fits in my Longchamp: link removed

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That's a cute tote - I've seen them around everywhere. they must be really durable.

 

Yeah, i think I carry around too much stuff anyway. Sometimes I take home books to read and never open them. sigh. My mother called that "taking the books for a walk."

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I watched "Life 2.0" on Netflix over the weekend. Man, people are crazy. I felt bad for that one guy - who had a girl as his avatar on Second Life, and he later realized he was sexually abused by his father as a child. I could understand why he was going into this escape land/fantasy. The woman who cheated on her husband with the 2nd life guy, and then the husband divorced her and then the second life guy dumped her, and then she called herself "the victim"? pfffftttt.....

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Completely agree. This is exactly what I should have done with the on-off guy. But I didn't. He kept using words that made me more and more confused. He kept going and coming. I am responsible for this. I should not have allowed this to happen. If it is hurting me, it is my responsibility to do something about it. Not his.

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I agree that Tina should end it. Right now, she is super busy between her new job starting soon and the move. I don't know how much time she is spending thinking about her ex, but hopefully she nips that in the bud now. But, i know that situations are more complex when you are in it, instead of a stranger looking at it objectively.

 

I can't believe it's been almost a month since Logan and I broke up. wow. So strange. I met with my therapist again today. She agrees that my biggest mistake was not breaking up with him sooner when I started being unhappy.

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I really did not like that Ami or whatever her name was, the woman that cheated on her husband with that second life guy. Her whole demeanor and attitude just irritated me. Never mind her victim complex at the end. The guy that she had a relationship with - weird. The way he spoke OMG.

Her husband should have kicked her arse out on the street. Seriously, if my husband 'played' such a game having that type of intimate relationship with some woman I'd divorce his butt tomorrow. That is just unacceptable. It's absolutely cheating.

 

I liked that girl Asri Falcone? But I found her basement/room absolutely disgusting and dirty. The dust on her desk..wow.

 

 

Back to real life.

Logan - look I think it sucks that he dragged it on, he should have just been upfront. However, had you ended it that time before the wedding you would be always thinking 'what if?' It's better for you to know you did everything right, you tried, and he was the problem.

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yeah, that is the silver lining - i don't have to wonder, "what if I just hung in there a little longer....?" If I had ended things then, we would have broken up. Instead, I waited, and we still broke up. It wasn't going to work no matter what. So, that's good at least. It will just take time. I was thinking about how I don't think about any of my exes anymore. Even when I hear that they got married, it doesn't pain me in the least. It just takes time, and usually another boyfriend! sigh.

 

Yes, Ami and Steven - some people are just horrible human beings. I felt the worst for her daughter - she didn't ask for any of this. Asri's basement was disgusting. But I don't believe that she made all the money she claimed (maybe in Lindens??) otherwise she wouldn't be living with her parents. Ugh, and smoking in the basement?? it must have smelled so bad in there. yuck.

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However, had you ended it that time before the wedding you would be always thinking 'what if?' It's better for you to know you did everything right, you tried, and he was the problem.

 

I think a lot of women have the conviction that they have to do "everything and anything" to make a relationship work, that it's up to them to give one chance after the other. While I don't think one should bail any relationship at the first sign of challenges, it needs to be balanced: if effort is only made from one person, it's not going to work long term. If one is worried about 'what if I had given him/her another chance' ask yourself at the same time 'did the other person invest the same/similar amount of effort into me as I into him/her' - if the answer is no, there is no need to worry about 'what if'.

 

This was not a question of not having given him enough chances (even if you had broken up in the summer), but by you guys not being on the same page about what this relationship is about.

 

I do think it's a valuable lesson to learn to be able to end a relationship where you are not having your needs met to end it without a bad conscience about 'not having given all the chances possible'. I think that point of view comes from taking on too much 'ownership/guilt' about making a relationship work.

 

This is also requiring a bit of a shift in your confidence and self worth: it seemed as if you had the feeling you had to prove to him over and over that you deserve to be in a relationship with him by being the best gf possible. Nothing wrong with that as long as you also make sure that He proves to You that he is worthy of your commitment. And that's where I think you can work on a bit for the future - making sure that the next person equally proves to you that he is worth of your time, effort, emotions.

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Nothing wrong with that as long as you also make sure that He proves to You that he is worthy of your commitment.

 

he was a good boyfriend (at times) but I agree, he wasn't trying his hardest to be the best boyfriend he could. he flat out told me that while he could be in a relationship, he wasn't ready to "commit" until he got his career in order. And it sounds like we were speaking different languages here. To me, that sounded like, "I'm not ready to get engaged until my career is in order" which was going to take a few year, which to me is fine.... but I guess to him that meant that he wasn't going to be serious about anything (career or romance) until he started his teaching career and it stabilized. he said that earlier in the summer too - that was not a time when i was thinking long term with him either, because I was still unsure of my job situation after august 31.

 

gah - a million excuses with him. he was just passing the time until he could start teaching - when in reality, he could have started getting his career in order while unemployed if he started volunteering somewhere, trying to get a more education related job, etc.... he always said he had bad luck, but i think he just wasn't taking advantage of opportunities in front of him.

 

anyway.... sigh. yeah, it's a lesson - move on quicker next time - don't feel like you have to go "above and beyond" the way a mother would for her child or something. ugh.

 

going to return his christmas presents this week. leaving tomorrow night for a long weekend out of town. No mice in my apartment in the last 3 weeks. However... i see evidence of mice in the basement and it also flooded this morning. I wrote to my landlord. Sigh.... at some point, I'll have to start looking at living in a nicer apartment. My place in grad school was beautiful - new construction and everything, but it ate up most of my paycheck. This place fits well within my budget and is the best location, but sigh.....

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I have never understood why men do this. If they are not looking to commit until they get something in order, they should let the other person know very quickly that they are dating for fun and not looking to commit. But they don't do that. You have to figure it out.

 

I was telling the same thing to my mom the other day when she claimed that I expect a lot from complete strangers. I said "No I don't. I only expect him to be honest and upfront about facts that he knows about himself." (e.g. a guy got mad at me after 2 months of knowing each other and my meeting his parents that I was reluctant to move to and settle down in a certain small town of my country 8-10 hours driving distance away from my parents. Even when I went to meet his parents he never told me that he has purchased a house in that small town and has every intention to settle down there. Then he got mad at me and said "why didn't you write it in the profile that you were not willing to move to small towns?"

 

 

 

Amen sister! I need to remember this, too. I think the problem is that we let our guard down and become emotional and feel like we need to make this work. Never do we really ask ourselves, why do we want to make something work that is not making us happy. Why are we trying to keep the other person from leaving who isn't showing us that he wants to be with us. I think we need to be cautious and alert and watch for signs, and address before things go worse.

 

I admit, I haven't read each and every post in your journal, but I didn't get a feeling that you were excited about being with your recent BF. You didn't talk about a future with him. I thought you were more like 'let me see how it goes. Not sure yet'. So, I feel even you were not really sure that you wanted to be with him.

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Hi Layaan - Yeah, I guess I wasn't "head over heels" for him either. Between the uncertainty with my job, and his unemployment... I was just waiting for things to settle down and for him to get back on track before really thinking about the future. But as my therapist said, you have to love a man for who he is, right now, not his potential.

 

Ugh, I hope you meet a good match for you too. But just keep looking.

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Hi Annie,

 

I started reading your journal last week. I got about halfway through. I was really rooting for bus boy - too bad that didn't happen!

 

I'm wanting to read the rest, but there are tons of pages! Looking forward to posting again once I'm caught up!

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I got a call from my landlord - apparently my water heater broke and that is why the basement was flooding. he told me the repairman would be in there today to change the water heater. "Luckily" - I am still at work so don't have to deal with that. yay??

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I got to my cousin's house late last night (flight was cancelled and then I was rebooked on another flight). I was really sad last night, because the last time I got here, I was testing Logan to say I made it ok. And now nothing. sigh. My cousin says he is no huge loss. I was able to return most of the christmas presents I bought him, expect for the boxers, the store doesn't take those back even if the tags are still on and they were never worn. I'll donate them to Goodwill or something. My cousin is cleaning out her closets now so I guess we'll go together.

 

I bought a sweater dress, some tops, a cardigan, and a pair of shoes with some of the money from the returned christmas gifts.

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Since you are coming out of a relationship, you are hurting, wondering, and grieving. So, you may not have the clarity, but I agree with your cousin. His leaving doesn't seem like a huge loss. You deserve someone better and by better I don't mean someone more educated and/or stable job only, but someone who is going to be interested and happy in a stable relationship with you. I am glad you are spending time with your cousin, though.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I got to my cousin's house late last night (flight was cancelled and then I was rebooked on another flight). I was really sad last night, because the last time I got here, I was testing Logan to say I made it ok. And now nothing. sigh. My cousin says he is no huge loss. I was able to return most of the christmas presents I bought him, expect for the boxers, the store doesn't take those back even if the tags are still on and they were never worn. I'll donate them to Goodwill or something. My cousin is cleaning out her closets now so I guess we'll go together.

 

I bought a sweater dress, some tops, a cardigan, and a pair of shoes with some of the money from the returned christmas gifts.

 

I am wishing you strength and peace during the holidays. Holidays are hard. I'm glad you're with your cousin!

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