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Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal


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Things I am looking for in my next relationship:

 

1. A man who loves me and makes me feel fully loved.

2. A man without alcohol and drug issues

3. A man I feel proud of

4. A man who makes an effort to be gainfully employed

5. A man I am confident will work to take care of himself and his family

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In shopping related news, I bought this a few weeks ago when I was visiting my cousin:

 

link removed

 

Not the same coat, but pretty similar. I got a red down coat. It's super light. It's amazing how warm it is! I didn't think it would be so warm but I am roasting in it when I am on the bus. I think it was a really good purchase.

 

I also got my new shipment of Nespresso pods. I love my machine so much.

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It's nice to hear from you Bekka. Yeah, it is an important connection. I remember my male cousin had a hard time with that too - had a vision of the business he wanted to build, but wasn't taking the right steps to put it into action.

 

2 weeks since the breakup. wow. I cried for like 10 seconds in the shower last night. that was it. my sleep was very fragmented last night. wound up watching sons of anarchy. Got a text from Tina this morning that she got a job offer, yay!! She has a 2nd interview tomorrow too. I hope she has 2 job offers to choose from shortly.

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I thought women changed haircut after a break up. Anything but growing pubic hair. What if You find some dude before the end of the month?

 

I'll run home and bust out my razor and waxing supplies, haha! But the surefire way to meet a hot new guy is to wear your ugliest granny panties.

 

I actually got my hair cut and colored 3 weeks ago (before the breakup). So, not time yet...

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I actually am lucky to not have to think about shaving/waxing almost at all anymore. (After some admittedly expensive laser treatments). I haven't shaved in months (and before that I probably didn't have to). A razor lasts me a year, because it's never used. I've bleached the little bit of fine hair on my legs so its even finer and barely noticeable. It's so worth the money.

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Do you have that much body hair lol?

 

actually not at all, lol. I've been waxing for so long, that my hair grows back very fine and light.

 

I will go get my eyebrows done this weekend. Can't be shaggy everywhere! Maybe I'll get laser someday, but in the meantime, I want to save that money for other things.

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Oh, talked to my mother briefly yesterday. It was my stepfather's birthday. I wished him a happy birthday. He asked me how is my love life. I said Logan and I broke up. He said the next one will be better. My mother said nothing at all. Nothing. So typical of her. I mean, even strangers express their regrets.

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gah, this ticks me off!! My close friend Lila from grad school told me she had a date with a guy I know from there too, now an associate prof in my old department. When she told me about the date, I told her that I heard a wild and wholly unbelievable rumor about him (throwing orgy parties for and with the grad students). I told her I didn't believe it, just something that was told to me that likely got exaggerated 100 X along the way (maybe he threw a party and a couple made out, then someone just called it an orgy?). SHE goes and tells him that on the date! OMG. I am mortified. Why would she tell him this on a first date? I shouldn't have said anything to her about it whatsoever.

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Yeah I shouldn't have said anything at all. She claims she didn't list me as the source of it. I thought because I think of her as a close friend that she wouldn't just say that to him on a first date. I really hope she didn't use my name. Ughhh.

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Well but that's the thing about rumors--if we don't want our names attached to a story, we shouldn't tell that story. I have a tendency to gossip majorly. I love juicy stories and details. But if I know for a fact it's not true, or if it's so far fetched it can't possibly be true, I don't share it. Bc otherwise it's just fiction that shouldn't be shared (trying to dig myself out of looking so rude bc I like gossip haha)

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Also this reminds me of a clip from the Big Bang theory, which I never watch but I was flipping through tv at the gym and I caught this scene. Guy tells girl he's on a first date with that one of the other guy lost his V to his own cousin. The guy was like "why did you tell her that???" And he sai "there was a lull in the conversation and I panicked!"

 

Maybe that's why she shared it? Haha

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It's a good reminder. I don't like gossip just because of instances like these. I shouldn't have said anything, period. I'm also annoyed that she took it back to him!! I hope she didn't list me. But if she did, ugh. That really pisses me off.

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My therapist asked me to think about things that I learned from my relationship with Logan. It's on my list of things to do, so that will knock another thing off the list:

 

1. I had a really hard time breaking things off in the absence of one really huge bad event - something like cheating. With the red flags, I tried to hang in there because I thought there was hope of things working.

2. Next time a man I've been dating for over 6 months says, "he's not head over heels" for me, I will run away. Because if he's not feeling it then, when will he ever? I stuck around because I hoped it was his job situation that was clouding his mind. but no.

3. I learned I should run away sooner when I see these red flag warning behaviors - like continuing to smoke pot before driving, even after having gotten a DUI for drunk driving. He obviously didn't learn his lesson the first time around. He also argued with me when I said I didn't want him smoking pot before driving.

4. I learned that a guy can be a good boyfriend in many ways (calling/texting daily, asking me out on weekends, giving me compliments, being affectionate) without being a good boyfriend for me. After dating so many men who were hot/cold, it was refreshing to date a guy who was consistent about his interest in me..... until that point where I told him I loved him... then it went downhill when he couldn't reciprocate those words. He still wanted to spend time together, but I started to feel insecure and not loved by him, which in turn made me withdraw and probably that didn't make him want me more. Or at least, not in a real, unselfish way.

5. I put up with too much crap, I should have cut it off sooner. It's just hard to know where that line is when to give up. Maybe the first time he insisted on smoking pot and driving? That probably would have been a great time to take a cab home. Certainly when he told me he didn't love me.

6. Don't put your boyfriend's job search ahead of your own job search. If he won't take responsibility for his own job search, then best to break up.

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