sadme Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 We have dated four years, been enagaged twice, he has broken up with me two times for 3 to 4 months both of those times dating other women and coming back. He broke up with me for the third time this October. He always says I would not change my behavior in that I need attention from other men. I talk to men in the gym, talk about other men giving me compliments and also making him feel bad about himself. I think its more that the relationship settles in each time and he gets bored and runs from commitment and wants to test the greener grass for a while. Anyway, we have gone out twice since October and had a great time. But, he has agreed to go out to dinner with me 3 times in the last three weeks always breaking it off the same day and saying he is busy or this last time saying he had no interest in seeing me and being down right rude and cutting. He always sends me emails about how its my fault that we ended and wants me to always say I am sorry. Weird! Anyway....I told him I did not want this anymore and it was time to part for good as we have tried for 4 years and he broke up with me enough and there was just too much hurt and there was no way to be friends due to his odd behavior. He insisted we still text and email and I said no thanks as I have no interest in learning what he is up to. So on Thursday last week we both agreed to stop contacting and wished each other well. So tonight I get a text from him saying "Hi Friend, Looks like our football teams may play each other in the superbowl. I hope you had a great day!" I would take him back if he would go to counseling and agree to work through our problems, but there is no sign of that happening. Keeping in contact has been hurtful if anything. Advice Needed - Do I answer or ignore the text message? Also, why do you think he is doing this? Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Do not be a doormat !!! Why would you want to continue this yo yo life?? I say find someone who knows what he wants, but first perhaps find out what YOU want !! Aren't you more important? Yes ! of course you are...never mind him...he has bing bonged through your life enough. You deserve a stable relationship, but first take care of # 1. Stop wasting all this time with BS....believe me, I am not being harsh, but rather very honest...I totally understand your frustration. Take care and best wishes to you ! Link to comment
beejcee Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 i left my husband of ten years this summer because he refuses to seek treatment for his bipolar disorder. things became bad, very very very bad. i loved him, i still love him, but my mental and physical health were being destroyed due to the stress. if you like and can handle the lack of security in your relationship, go for it. if you know you don't want to live like that, do not return the text and go nc. i chose to save myself and walk away from his madness. am i sad? yes am i lonely? yes do i regret the end of my marriage? yes do i wish he could change? absolutely do i miss the constant drama and fear? no way. best of luck to you as you make your decision. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Do not answer him or else he will never take your words seriously. You made it very clear it was the end...stay true to that conviction and ignore him. Don't be surprised if he steps up the game. He is trying to provoke a reaction out of you. Right now he is being sweet. If you don't answer him he might end up the ante and start sending messages with questions that he figures you will respond to. If you ignore that as well he might escalate the game to some nasty emails in order to provoke a reaction. Be prepared...he is toying with you trying to get you to dance to his tune. Enough is enough..do not engage in that "dance" with him. You have to stay strong and send the clear message you are fed up with him. Link to comment
sadme Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 You are correct Crazy About Dogs! I have been through way too much and tried way too many times. It's time to let it all go for good and get on with my life and heal. I finally feel like I can do this for good and he probably feels that to. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 He's doing this because he knows he can put you on hold, everytime he wants to explore the pasture, and see if the grass is greener. Don't answer any form of contact he may try on you. Also, never settle for anyone that is not willing to put you first in their life. You deserve much better. Take care... Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Greener pastures..bah...perhaps next time he will find a cow pie ! Link to comment
sadme Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Now that is funny!!!!!! Yes, he desreves a cow pie for sure!!!! I do believe in karma and the best revenge is good living. I just know I can move on for good now. It's funny, but after 3 months and all the BS I finally feel so good about letting him go for good. It just took a while to get there and there is no tuning back now. Thanks for all the comments! Link to comment
sadme Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 He sent me a text last night at midnight stating "You will never meet a lover like me ever! Don't kid yourself no matter who is on top of you now! ;-)" Do I get the looneys or what????????? Link to comment
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