Worried about death

[Darkness_Falls]

Please help this has been going on for so long in my life. From my teens I sat in bed and cried myself to sleep every other night because of death. That went on for years. I eventually got counselling for my depression and that helped a bit, I went to university and my life completely changed. But now the thoughts are creeping up again. I get so scared about what will happen when I die. I don't have a religion because I don't believe in them, I feel no comfort from them. It's just such a scary thought that one day I won't be alive, and that I don't know when it's going to happen.

 

The other problem I am having is I get worried about my mum and dad dying. My dad is 60 next year and I think this is starting to affect him. He said to me just before christmas that he didn't really want any presents because there isn't any point, he can just buy things he wants when he wants them. He has started clearing out the loft etc so that me and my brother don't need to do it when he and my mum pass on. It's just really got me feeling down. I feel like I need to make sure that I don't take my family for granted because I don't know how much time I have left with them. I don't have my grandparents anymore, they died when I was 16 and 17.

 

I live 4 hours from my family so I don't see them often and I miss them loads. I have considered moving back home to be closer to them but I have a great job where I live and a nice flat with cheap rent. And my boyfriend lives with me, although he said if I wanted to move he would go with me. My mum would rather I stayed where I am so that I can build up some savings for when me and my bf eventually get our own place (I'm 24 btw). I try to send them little gifts now and again, and I talk to my mum on the phone every night. I see my parents probably every 3 months. I just feel this isn't enough, I don't want them to die and me left thinking I didn't spend enough time with them. My life isn't bad where I am, good job, nice flat, great bf, fun friends. I guess I just want to have it all, I wish my family were closer.

 

Blah, I don't know what to do, what to think anymore. I'm on antidepressants. And I have had 3 counsellors but none have really helped me with the death thing.

 

Can anyone help at all? Please? xx

[dreamwarrior]

You sound like a very sweet person and want to spend time with your family. I am 44 and miss my mom alot, not sure where she is, sent her a bd card that was returned because it wasn't her address anymore...bummer, felt bad...she is my best buddy in all the world.

 

Anyway my friend, you cannot worry about death it happens to everyone your 24 and I am 44 and believe me I never think about it at all. Think about living, because if you are always thinking of dying then you have wasted your life and never really lived. Enjoy the here and now that is what is most important, be glad for the good things in your life, because most people are not as lucky as you.

 

For the time you are alive live your dreams, accomplish your goals, because you don't want to look back on your life with regrets. Go see your folks once a month, spend your vacation time with them, webcam, letters, and call them several times a week. When you are with them help around the house doing the heavier work so they don't have to, take your mom to the grocery store, sit with your dad watching the ball games or whatever he likes...those are the moments you can cherish, don't spend your whole life worrying over something you cannot control.

 

Live in the here and now, because you will never relive this day again.

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, if it is of any cold consolation, once you die, then you will not be worrying about dying any longer, so why worry about it now? Worrying about dying is a luxury to enjoy by those who are alive. Those who are dead have no such luxury because they are already dead, and thereforee cant worry about dying any longer. What a waste of energy to worry about dying.

 

My Bible says that there is an appointed time for everyone to die, and then the judgment. People die because of sin - and there is a second death if someone dies in their sins. Death is the seperation of the body and the spirit. The body without the spirit is dead.

[thejigsup]

I have to agree with Luke, once your dead you don't have to worry about it anymore. If it's any consolation to you, whenever someone I knew was close to death, say within a few weeks, they seem to have lost their fear of it. One of my friend's mom's was more scared of death than anyone I have ever known. About a year before she died, she told my friend that she was no longer scared of dying. She said, "I know more people on that side than this one now, I want to see them again. I not scared of dying now, it just seems natural." She died less than a year later. I guess when it is your time, you lose the fear. So, just enjoy life and don't waste any of it worrying about death.

[beejcee]

i can remember the first time i really realized i would die, as well as all the people i loved. it shakes you to the bottom of your soul when you realize there is no other choice in this situation.

 

use the time you have to always show the people you love how much you care for them.... then you will have no regrets.

 

if you are scared of the process of dying, my preacher explained it once this way and i thought it made sense: death is one of two transitions in life. the other one is death.

when you are born, it takes you into a world you cannot imagine. the same is of death, we cannot know what is to be.

 

also, have you ever noticed that people who have died or had near death experiences always seem to describe it as something they no longer fear? that gives me hope that everything will be okay.

[Darkness_Falls]

Thank you so much for all your replies everyone, they are very comforting. I'm not completely sure why the issue of death comes up for me sometimes, it seems that when I don't have a lot going on in my life I have time to sit and ponder it, which isn't really a good thing. When I went away to university and moved away from home my worrying about death went out the window. I had so much to do. Maybe I need to get back into my hobbies again and keep my mind occupied.

 

Maybe reading up on near death experiences could help me, I've never had one myself (touch wood) so reading up on them could help

[greensleeves]

Maybe reading up on near death experiences could help me, I've never had one myself (touch wood) so reading up on them could help

 

I think that might be a good idea for you. I also used to be frightened of death and would bring myself to tears just thinking about losing my parents someday. It was similar to what you're going through, they were getting older and had retired and moved up north so I couldn't see them as much anymore. When my father passed away suddenly (this was several years ago), I started reading about near death experiences and it brought me a great deal of comfort. I no longer view death as something to fear, but as a rebirth, not on earth as in reincarnation, but as graduating to a higher level.