ut_longhorn Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 So I've been hanging out with a few women as of late. I came out of a relationship about a month and a half ago and have been just hanging out with a few women here and there. One of the girls I've asked out has been a friend for many many years (when we were in high school). She went off to school, then she got married about 6 years ago and divorced a year ago. So we had lost contact for a while but reconnected recently. I took her to dinner a few weeks back and it went really well. Then I asked her to grab some drinks a week ago and we chatted for about 4 hours and things flowed smoothly. Now I called her this past Wednesday to dinner for Sunday and she said that she would be on call (she's a doctor) all weekend but if she was free she would be willing to go to dinner. Right then, I thought, her answer didn't sound so confident. So I texted her tonight to confirm dinner, and she wrote "Hey, calls have been very busy this weekend and I might have to bail. I also have some reading that I need to finish up by tomorrow. Maybe another time? Sorry!" So I texted her back "Sure. Holler at me when you have some free time". Now at this point, if she's actually interested in hanging out its in her court right? Does this sound like a rejection? That she might be uncomfortable with me suddenly trying to hang out so much out of the blue? Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostnva Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I would let her make the next move. Coming from a woman it does sound like shes blowing you off. I am just being honest. I am starting to date again and it really sucks. Its hard to read people these days. So many games. Why cant people just be honest. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Yes, leave it in her court. It may not necessarily have been an excuse. When doctors are on call they can get really busy. Also, she could have had something she needed to read for tomorrow and because it got so busy she didn't have time to read it over the weekend. I would wait and see if she contacts you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ut_longhorn Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 I will have to admit, after breaking up with my ex, there is a little bit of a "hole" that I guess I've been trying to fill in by hanging out with women. I honestly don't even know if I'm ready to seriously date, or if I'm doing the whole rebound dance. Even hanging out with this lady, I don't ever feel there were "sparks" between us, but it was just very comfortable and the conversation flowed well. I kept pursuing it cause she has a lot of great qualities. I'm pretty confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I think you are actually rushing into dating. Your relationship only ended a month and a half ago. Why not focus on other things in your life for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Even hanging out with this lady, I don't ever feel there were "sparks" between us, but it was just very comfortable and the conversation flowed well. I kept pursuing it cause she has a lot of great qualities. I'm pretty confused. maybe the connection isn't quite there? i don't think i would bail on a guy i was really interested in. ok, i would meet him for a quick dinner, like an hour or two. i'd keep talking to these other women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ut_longhorn Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think you are actually rushing into dating. Your relationship only ended a month and a half ago. Why not focus on other things in your life for a while. Maybe a little rushed, but my ex and I only dated for 5 month. I am still not 100% over it but I'd say 80-90% healed. But I also think Lostnva and Annie seem to have it right. I think if a woman was more interested, there would be a little more effort. I'm getting a little disillusioned with dating and women in general. Maybe you're right Crazyaboutdogs...maybe I should do my own things and stop thinking about "dating" and "women" so much. Also..one other question would be..how awkward is it for women if their male friend starts to make a move on them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 i don't think that a month and a half after a 5 month relationship is too long. i'd just take it easy, and not jump into a new relationship - but hey - nothing wrong with meeting new women and getting drinks with them! regarding your other question..... i dunno - maybe they have had feelings for you also, but never told you? is this lady friend of yours single? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 you have no spark and want to continue? you left it up to her to contact you so.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rbr85 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 The balls not in anybodies court, there are no courts. You expressed interested in seeing her again, and asked her to let you know when she's free. If she's interested she'll respond if she's not she won't, but don't push the issue. If you go out with her again and you want to be sexual with her make it clear to her, and don't think that by being a good friend she's going to get into bed with you. Oh and stop reading into why she canceled. Maybe she really doesn't like you, or maybe being a doctor she really does have genuine things she needs to take care of. Fact is you can't read her mind. Don't dwell on what she's thinking, or what she says. Just look at her ACTIONS, and you take the lead and figure out what YOU want and get it anyway don't worry about what she thinks. She'll make it clear to you through her actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ut_longhorn Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 It's so odd. I was asked by my friend if my ex had contacted me yet since our break up and I realized she hadn't. It's been no contact since the break up. I had been feeling pretty good for the past couple of weeks, but my friend's question made me realize that my ex most likely doesn't care much about how I am and that saddened me immensely. I had the biggest urge to call her, but I didn't. What's the point right? I feel sometimes that I'll never meet the perfect person for me. Not everyone does you know…and the stars may not be aligned for me. It's frustrating because the human heart is so unpredictable and I've been the victim of a changing heart one too many times. Even my heart acts in ways that are in many ways out of my control. What am I trying to say? I dunno. I'm just rambling now. Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 if you are hopelessly looking for love, you probably shouldn't be trying to date. you sound stressed you haven't met the 'one' if you will. why you so concerned with what your ex cares about you right now? it's your EX. you tell your friend you don't want to hear anything about your ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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