What defines a date

[harrops26]

I have this friend that im really interested in and im not sure if the things we've been doing together would be considered dates. We are both in the Army and we spent a month together in the field working together on missions. I was her boss for the whole time and we just talked about all our interests but since i was her boss i never really thought of dating her. But when we returned from the field i had to go to a school for a few weeks and while i was gone they moved her to a different section so i was no longer her boss so i could date her without getting in trouble. When i got home she invited me to a party with some of her friends(All male friends). Then we went to a club and she danced with one of her friends then later i decided to ask her for a dance and we did. After that she took all of us home. After that the unit was released for Christmas Leave. The week we returned from leave i asked her if she minded if i came over to her place and had a few beers and she said sure so i did and we drank a few beers and talked for 3 hours. When i was leaving she asked if was ok to drive. I was obviously all right ( was that a hint to stay the night or just concern for my well being). Then lastnight i asked her if I could come over and cook her dinner sometime this week and she said yes. So someday this week im going over to cook her dinner. I've been out of the dating game for 7 years now and im a bit rusty. Would this be considered a date or just a friend cooking a friend dinner.

 

Sorry about the length but i feel that details are important.

[Dance213]

I would take that as a friend cooking a friend dinner.

 

Invite her to do something. My greatest fear is that you are getting into the 'buddy zone'. Once you get there? It's very difficult for us to get you OUT of that space in our minds that you aren't a 'real guy' but a 'friend guy'.

 

Does that make sense? Although - I have to say - the dinner thing? Nice 'wooing'. That's very sweet of you.

[alli]

It's kind of hard to tell at this point; it could go either way. After you cook dinner, maybe later that same evening or a day or two later.. suggest the two of you do some date-like activity, like see a movie or go bowling. Express a little bit of interest when you are hanging out together, like touching her hand, give her a hug when the evening is over, kiss on the cheek. See how she reacts.

[harrops26]

I was afraid of become a "friend". I wanted to ask her on a date back in december but i couldn't do it because i wasn't there. So im trying this dinner thing to see if there is anything going on between us. If there is id like to ask her on a date. I think i sould avoid askinig her to go to a bar since we've already discussed going to some pubs together. Im not really sure what to ask her to do. Should it be something we've discussed and both enjoy or should it be something different that would be hard to not consider a date.

[alli]

Bring up some things you enjoy doing & ask her if she likes them. I don't know where you live or what the weather is like. So if you like skiing, boating, paintballing, visiting museums, going to a zoo, etc. I think you should do something that you would both really enjoy, then go out to dinner afterward.

[harrops26]

Thanks for the advice. I'll ask her to do something this coming weekend. Would it be bad to ask her for suggestions. She knows this area a lot better than i do.

 

She mentioned that she likes going to antique shops and that seems like something i'd enjoy. Then dinner somewhere that evening and maybe some drinks after that.

[alli]

Thanks for the advice. I'll ask her to do something this coming weekend. Would it be bad to ask her for suggestions. She knows this area a lot better than i do.

 

She mentioned that she likes going to antique shops and that seems like something i'd enjoy. Then dinner somewhere that evening and maybe some drinks after that.

 

Yeah you could ask her for ideas of things to do together. If she gets shy or can't think of anything you can still make whatever suggestions you have. Just work it into the conversation, it'll be fine!