I seriously need some advice.

[MA91]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and then one day she was checking the history on my computer. She saw bad things on it and realized what a bad person I was and broke up with me right there.

 

I know my mistakes and i know that I have to change. I have changed for the better for the past couple weeks, and I want to prove to her that this change is permanate. She tells me she misses the person she loved so much but everytime she misses me, she ends up hating me because of what i did. She cant get it out and things will never be the same.

 

I desperately want her back and I dont know what I should do. Please help

[alli]

Were you cheating on her, or watching porn?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yeah, what bad things are you referring to?

[MA91]

it was porn =/

[alli]

I don't think porn is that bad, but some women have a big problem with it. You probably should have been honest with her from the start so she could tell you how she felt about it before it became a problem, problem being that she unexpectedly found out on her own.

 

You could try to get her back by promising not to watch it anymore, if you are willing to do that. If you are not willing to stop, you could try talking to her about it & reminding her that it is quite common & you didn't really think it was that bad.

[MA91]

I have told her that I will stop doing it and I have. She is a devout Christian girl and sees that as very disgusting and whenever she thinks of me, that is what she sees. She says she doesn't know if she can accept my change because the image of me doing something like that still haunts her mind. She calls me often though because she still misses me, but she can't accept me back after that.

 

I don't know how I can change her mind =/

[MA91]

Wow. We are still pretty young and it seems that everyone is on her side agreeing that porn is bad. I havent heard anyone say these things before. I'll just tell her I've stopped indefinetly and just leave it at that, but I really dont know how I'm going to get her to stop thinking that I am bad. Maybe just wait it out? I'll see what happens when I pull out the Christian card..

[Crazyaboutdogs]

How old are you? It sounds to me like you two just have different values. If you like watching porn you are not going to be able to give that up forever. Most men who are forced into giving up watching porn because their partners abhor it and make them feel guilty and trashy for watching it typically end up going back to it anyway. From what I have read on this forum, relationships in which the woman has this kind of reaction to her partner watching porn do not fare well. You didn't cheat on her. If she is revolted by you because you watched porn then maybe you are better off without her.

[MA91]

I'm only 17 and shes 6 months older, but i felt like this girl is the girl I truly love. I have dated girls before but none have been anything close to her. We were best friends at the time we started going out and have went strong until this point. I'm willing to give up watching porn if it brings her back into my arms.

 

maybe I'm just young and naive, but I have really strong feelings for her