Well, I did it again. Another relationship blown out of the water.

[justanotherhurtguy]

I totally went off on my girl last night. The biggest fight we ever had. I guess I've threatened to leave too many times and now was the last time. I packed all of my stuff and was about to leave, of course at THIS point I get cold feet, but the damage was done and she wanted me to leave saying she couldn't keep having me threaten to leave.

 

Both of us were in the wrong, but she's very stubborn and vindictive so I know it's done. I apologized calmly this morning when we got up, she said I could stay one more night to get my things together, but then I have to leave. Why does it always end this way? Oh well, I moved out here to be with her and things just went wrong one after the other. Guess it wasn't meant to be...

[unabashed]

If you really want to make this one work, then persist in trying to talk with her and see if your relationship can be salvaged. You have both invested a lot to get to this point, so maybe there is hope. And, if you're able to reconcile, quit threatening to leave unless you are really prepared to go. No one wants to be in the situation of always waiting to be left--waiting to get hurt. The idea that you would just bail out rather than work on issues must be very upsetting to her. Maybe she realizes she'd rather be alone than be so unhappy. But, if you make each other happy most of the time, you might have a chance. Good luck.

[DieTeufelKatze]

I don't want to seem harsh/mean, but want to point this out so that maybe you can consider your behavior in the future, whether in this relationship or a new one...

 

Threatening abandonment (leaving) at the slightest provocation or in any argument is a surefire way of eroding trust and destroying a relationship. It is a tactic used as a means to try and gain control or the upper hand. STOP doing it unless you really ARE wanting to leave, and if that's the case, then you need to calmly and rationally decide when to have the "break up" talk... DON'T break up with someone during an argument just to try and gain control. You may end up regretting it, and you will hurt your partner more than anything and make them loose all trust in you.

 

I've had more than a few ex's in the past pull this one... your gf is a LOT more forgiving than I've become after having the "abandonment threat" pulled on me a few too many times. Learn to argue in a constructive and healthy manner, and you won't have to worry about this situation again. I would have told you after the first time you threatened to break up that I won't stand for it when we're arguing, and the 2nd or 3rd time you try it, I take it seriously, and you will be DUMPED. So consider yourself lucky.

 

Again, not meaning to be too harsh, just wanting to "tell it like it is", so to speak. Good luck to you... and consider either reading some books or getting some councelling so you can learn to communicate in relationships better, and learn how to fight fair (something we ALL need to learn)! I think it'll help make both you and your partner happier.