drunk and venting

[pushforward]

so i had lots to drinkkk tonight. i'm gone, more gone than i've ever been. it's so crazy that all i do is think about her. it's going to take my eyars to get over her. damn i want to get over her but not really. dammit what do you do when you love osmebody so much that they are all you think about, when you would give everything to be witth just them. alcohol is getting to me. i went way past my limit . i wont break contact, i want to , but it's not as bad. * * * * i hate livin g this way. i hate hurting, i hate loving her and being stuck here. it's so damn hard when you love somebod y and they dont love you back.

 

it's never going to be the same, nobody is going to replace her and i'm not looking for a replacement. i just want to be alone and figure myself out. i keep crying. today was the brightest day the moon was ever going to be. i sat outside drunk and hanging on to the earth. ii'm at the level of drunkeness where i am holding on to the earth and praying i don't fall off. it hurts so bad. i just want to be with her and hold her. it's all so sad.

 

she just had to cheat on me. it had to be her. out of all the people in this world, she is who i trust most and she misplaced it. damn damn damn.

 

my world is turning upside down, things happen for a reason? well what is my reason. damnnnnn i want is her in life. i can care less about anything and everything else. i've been getting better, but it's still with me. i love her and i know this. i can't show it to her and i have to get better. i don't want to be miserable. i don't want otbe this ugly fool. as much fun as i had, she is with me and i am not with her. i pray iwill over come this

 

my world is spinning, to another day in healing

[tina-rocks]

Hi,

 

I am so sorry you are suffering today.

 

Although drink can feel like a quick fix it can stir up all the emotions we are trying so desperately to hide deep within.

 

Please try to be strong as I know this is hard for you but take faith that you are not alone.

 

If you need to talk I am always here and i am sure others will be along soon to offer support.

 

(((hugs))) sent your way

 

Tina x