Was this an excuse to talk to me to get info for the ex?

[littlestar]

As most of you already know my situation...

 

Broke up with ex, there was a 3rd person involved. Ex and i are same age, she is 30 years our senior.

 

She has spread some nasty rumours to him which where untrue, he believed her and this had a lot to do with the break up (amongst other things) but this was one of the main reasons.

 

She has spread nasty and untrue rumours also to my family and friends and anyone she knows i know. Almost 4 months on and she is STILL going on spreading stuff about me.

 

Since we split i know she has been friends with the ex and trying to get every bit of info she can to give to him. I no longer speak or see her and avoid her like the plague.

 

She calls me this morning, shouting at me and telling me she knows i tried to vandalize her house last night, apparently someone threw eggs at her place and left a rock near her window. She seems to think it was me.

 

I had nothing to do with it and had no knowledge of it but she seems to think other wise.

 

After all the shouting she then calms down and tries to ask "How are you anyway?" * * * ??? is she for real. I didnt want to talk to her so i said how i am is none of her business.

 

I cant help but think this might've been set up by her and the ex to call me to see what i am up to.

 

On the other hand it might've been the ex that did those things to her house as i know he is capable of it (when we broke up he sent his friends around to break into my place) and he has a past history of it with other people. And it's right up his alley as he is very immature.

 

Healing is hard enough without having to put up with all this.

 

I thought i was slowly moving on. Even this morning after the phone call i thought i was healing and now i feel down in the dumps again.

[littlestar]

Feeling like absolute crap at the moment

[fiffy]

Hey littlestar,

 

I can completely emphasise with you.

 

My ex and I started having problems when he moved in with a work colleague who was 15 years plus older than him and probably about 30 older than me.

 

I think she was sad lonely and bitter and started to have fantasies about my ex. They would go out to dinner together (her treat) and at the weekends he would do diy jobs for her and our whole weekend would be ruined with us staying in while he tiled so he could get free rent.

 

SInce we have split up he has now got totally free rent worth £150 per week. He was meant to be doing something to her walls for this but hasn't even started. He has been living free of charge for six months.

 

If I were you I would take a look at the situation closely. Is this woman trying to do stuff with your ex that you would usully do in a relationship? Are her intentions with him obvious? Do you think she is jealous of your youth and old relationship with your ex?

 

I think you will find your answer will be yes.

 

This woman has no reason to suspect you of doing those things to her house. You have been NC for 3 months is it? Well from reading your other posts a very long time. As far as her and your ex are concerned you are out of the picture. You are over and done with it and so would have no reason to do those things.

 

I think this woman might be insanely jealous of you and the call may be to check what your up to, if your still around and to keep tabs on your whereabouts. You and your ex split up but guarenteed he is not with her so her fantasies are shattered and she wants to hurt you in a jealous rage.

 

Putting someone down and humiliating them by this kind of behaviour of accusations is for them a form of control over a situation where there is no control. They want you to look like a piece of poo and they want to be part of your exs life. They want to be totally intertwined with the whole relationship/breakup that they become involved in it. This also places them in a role of support and comfort for your ex and visa versa because they act like they have been targeted.

 

The exact same thing happened to me. I was on the phone to my ex (his mobile) and his land lady came on the phone accusing me of calling her home and that she was calling the police. I have had so many threats from him and her I began to believe they were true.

 

Now I think what a pathetic 50 something woman and 38 year old man. If I was that bitter and patheitc at that age I would be so dissappointed in myself. They should just stay out of what is not their business!

 

I recommend having her number blocked from calling you and just ignoring her pathetic attempts at put downs.

[chocolates]

she sounds like a bogan, another reason to leave this chapter of your life behind.