Exes still lying - what gives?

[Lissy]

I left my ex-fiance 6 months ago when I found out he had been cheating on me. The woman he cheated with was also in a LT relationship of 11 years and she cheated on her boyfriend with my ex. She lives in another state over 1000 miles away and they have continued in a LDR. My ex has not left me alone since the split. He insists on being my friend, even though I have told him I don't want that, at least not right now. Every time we talk, I find out later that he has lied to me about something. Most of the time, it's not even anything that matters, it's stupid stuff that he should have no reason to lie about.

 

So about a week ago, the mistress' ex-boyfriend contacted me and we have talked on the phone twice. He just found out New Year's Eve that there was an affair. When she left him 5 months ago, she never told him why. Now that he knows, it's as if the breakup is happening all over again for him and he's very hurt. I've been trying to help him however I can by listening and telling him what I know about the whole mess.

 

His ex knows that he found out and she has been sending him emails trying to explain herself. In one of the emails, she said that her life is a mess right now and she blamed him for taking everything from her, her dogs, her home, etc. She's the one that left! I found this ridiculous. She also told him that she was going to start looking for a new job in the state they both live in to go with the new year. I was surprised by this, as I thought she was going to move to the state I live in to be with my ex.

 

To add to the craziness, I found out yesterday that my ex and his mistress are now engaged. I have had time to work through all of this and it doesn't bother me. I know he's not the right guy for me and I don't want him back ever. I do have my opinion, I think it's insane, but whatever floats their boat. So my question is two-fold. First, should I tell her ex this? I feel like she is stringing him along with her lies, leaving him hope that she might come back to him. I don't want to hurt him, but he will find out eventually. Second, why all the lies? Both my ex and the mistress are lying through their teeth to us for absolutely no reason! Why would she tell her ex that she was going to look for another job in her state when she's engaged to my ex? That makes no sense. Why would she describe her life as a mess if she's so happy with my ex? I just cannot understand what either of them stands to gain by continuing with all the lies.

[HeartGoesOn]

I would stay out of it, and let them dig their own grave.

 

Why are you still talking to him?

[Lissy]

We ran a business together and still have some obligations related to that, so I have to talk to him about once a month. I have tried to keep that via email as much as possible. I did go NC for about 2 months when all the contact was keeping me from healing. During that time, he called several times, texted, emailed, etc. I ignored it all, but recently had to break that when something business-related came up.

[Laymisse]

If i were you, i'd cut the contact with the mistress' ex too. I understand its all raw for him too, and that you're trying to help him, but going over and over it - whether for your benefit or someone else's - isn't healthy. Tell him they're engaged if you wish - if you think it'll help - but he needs to move on too. Obviously he wants to talk to someone who's also involved, but draw a line in the sand under it and move on from this. Why should two people, who have treated you both so badly, still be comandeering your lives like this?