a_lifters_life Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 One's who love alot and ones who dont .... or do I just have a girl who doesnt seem to give two craps about me ? My girl says she loves me, etc,etc in text msging only. Hardly ever does she write in her aim/fb statuses about me. Not that it really is a big deal, because it isnt but I see many girls writing how much they love their bfs, etc,etc in these places. She seems to only say it right before we say good night on phone ..... Link to comment
sff123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 How she expresses herself isn't necessarily related to how she's feeling. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 all that facebook stuff is just for show. It's insecure people who feel like they have to prove their worth by showing off the fact that they're with someone. Link to comment
ankitasharma1234 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 not everyone likes to do a public display of their feelings..but this is no way related to how they feel. may be you girl is the kind who likes to keep her emotions private. Give her the space and try developing a comfort level with her so that she can show her feelings to you. If the issue persists, try talking to her in a very subtle ways about what are your expectations from the relationship. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Words are crap. What do her actions say? Does she go above and beyond? Does she genuinely care about your well being, wants and needs, and takes them into consideration? Does she work hard at the relationship and communicates and tries her best for the two of you? Does she take time away to do small things for you, just because. Does she ACT like she loves you? I think you know the answer to that, as its been obvious from all your posts. You wouldn't be asking this question if her actions did. That's one thing that many people do, they don't need to hear the I LOVE YOU, or need for that person to delcare it, because they do more than enough in private and in the relationship to SHOW they love that person and that they are in love. Someone in a mutual relationship that are in love, don't need to question it. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 all that facebook stuff is just for show. It's insecure people who feel like they have to prove their worth by showing off the fact that they're with someone. Agreed. A lot of people who blog, use Facebook, etc - it's all for attention and saying "look at me". I won't even have one of the damned accounts - I like my privacy, thanks. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 One's who love alot and ones who dont .... or do I just have a girl who doesnt seem to give two craps about me ? My girl says she loves me, etc,etc in text msging only. Hardly ever does she write in her aim/fb statuses about me. Not that it really is a big deal, because it isnt but I see many girls writing how much they love their bfs, etc,etc in these places. She seems to only say it right before we say good night on phone ..... 1. If she says it before you say good night, then it's the last thing she says each day. Kind of a nice way to head off to bed. 2. Is it you who need this? Maybe it's not her expressiveness but the fact that you need to hear it? In which case it's worth talking to her about, OR asking yourself why you need to hear it and if it's a dealbreaker not to? Link to comment
skittlesfae Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Could just be she has a hard time saying it out loud, who knows. Me and my boyfriend recently had a talk about 'feelings' or whatever, and the conclusion of it was that we love each other... Then he asked me if I was sure, and why I was only 99%[which was because I wasnt sure how he'd respond, and so part of me was holding back.] Anyways. Since then we haven't said it, I have wanted to a couple times but I dont feel it necessary. He knows. I don't like to feel like I need to say it constantly, that's how it has been in all my past relationships, it was always a constant affirmation battle, with them saying it like every ten minutes and me responding likewise. [Yeah i did love them, but I didn't like saying it that often. So they always said it first and wondered why i never did...] Anyway, could just be she isn't sure how to say it and feels nervous doing so, or she just feels its not necessary to be constantly saying it, because you know already. *shrugs* Or to be devil's advocate I guess, maybe she doesn't feel it at all and is only saying it to appease you. [doubt it though. I haven't read any of your other posts so Idk..] Just try to not let it get to you, if she just isn't saying it often then she won't want to say it more often, but if she just doesn't feel it, maybe give her time to really feel it before pushing the issue. Link to comment
a_lifters_life Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Well, Im not saying to constantly tell me every 1 hour "I love you" to me. Im asking for, it seems like the only time she says it is JUST when were around. Never anywhere public, almost as if shes afraid to. She says it like 2-3x per day "I love you" if she is going to stop texting or for instance go to a doc appt. she might say "I'll text you in a lil, love you ! " or something around there ... I dont need the constant affirmation, that gets annoying. I guess what Im looking for is she seems SOO unbelievably like not interested in talking when she calls me. Or has been the past couple of days since she left (Keep in mind she was here for a week). She said the reason she did this was - "oh we're talking all day " . She was referring to text msging. I dont mind it, but it gets annoying to keep texting all day. (2) 30-45 min phone calls a day is fine.. like. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 actually there are about 5 kinds of women.... Link to comment
a_lifters_life Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 I agree w/Asti. Words are crap. Some people are more demonstrative than others. Doesn't mean they don't love you. Go by her actions and your gut feelings. to tell me ?? I see MOST girls these days going on and on about how much they love . My girl seems to do it like secretively. Could that just be who she is ? Link to comment
a_lifters_life Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 actually there are about 5 kinds of women.... 5 love languages ? I guess her's is love form of : "touch" and not "affirmation" ? Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 to tell me ?? I see MOST girls these days going on and on about how much they love . My girl seems to do it like secretively. Could that just be who she is ? Secretely? Her ditching you on New Years? Her not wanting to talk? Her playing games? Being immature? Not being interested in what you want? Those are pretty clear actions to me. When people are in love, sure they don't feel the need to declare it to the world, or display it on their AIM or Facebook because there's a level of comfort and security in the relationship where the world doesn't know because the two people involved know there's love there, they do it, they SHOW each other in privacy, through their actions, through the relationship that they are in love and love their partner. If your girl was doing this, you wouldn't be bothered that she wasn't telling the world because you'd be secure with her. So in essense, no I don't think there are two types of women. There are two types of relationships, those that are secure and those that are insecure. And it comes down to the relationship. Personally, I think she just doesn't give a crap all that much and as a result you are insecure about it. Link to comment
Truth317 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 There's nothing more special than someone whose able to express their profound love for you by action and in words. There needs to be a balance. Sometimes you don't always want a gift, sex, a kiss etc... as a way to say "I love you." Sometimes just hearing someone say that they love you - to hear it from their mouth leaves you overjoyed. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 One's who love alot and ones who dont .... or do I just have a girl who doesnt seem to give two craps about me ? My girl says she loves me, etc,etc in text msging only. Hardly ever does she write in her aim/fb statuses about me. Not that it really is a big deal, because it isnt but I see many girls writing how much they love their bfs, etc,etc in these places. She seems to only say it right before we say good night on phone ..... I think that that is so tacky. I would never do that and I am very much in love with my boyfriend. Actions are what matters. How often do you tell her that you love her other than saying goodbye? She probably just fell into a pattern of saying it. It happens. Link to comment
a_lifters_life Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 I think that that is so tacky. I would never do that and I am very much in love with my boyfriend. Actions are what matters. How often do you tell her that you love her other than saying goodbye? She probably just fell into a pattern of saying it. It happens. Well, very rarely during the day cuz we talk on text (practically 99.9% of the day) that we do talk ... I would say it on text - way too impersonal. She says it all day like i explained earlier if shes going to the doctors, sends me a text "Hey, Im going to the doctors, text you in a lil, love you" or something around there. Otherwise, only time I hear it vocally is at night when one of us calls to ask how day was / good night / mushy * * * * . Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Like I said. You wouldn't be worrying about this if her actions provided more. Many couples do fine without hearing those three words because they are satisfied with actions. I don't think you are satisfied with her actions, and this is why you're searching for more from her. Link to comment
lady00 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Her actions do not say that she loves you. I thought the NYE thing was the straw that broke the camel's back. And yet, you are still with her. I have to ask why? Why put yourself through this? It's irrelevant what she says on facebook or AIM. What matters is how she treats you. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 One's who love alot and ones who dont .... or do I just have a girl who doesnt seem to give two craps about me ? My girl says she loves me, etc,etc in text msging only. Hardly ever does she write in her aim/fb statuses about me. Not that it really is a big deal, because it isnt but I see many girls writing how much they love their bfs, etc,etc in these places. She seems to only say it right before we say good night on phone ..... No, there are millions of types of women. Each one is individual. Link to comment
a_lifters_life Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Her actions do not say that she loves you. I thought the NYE thing was the straw that broke the camel's back. And yet, you are still with her. I have to ask why? Why put yourself through this? It's irrelevant what she says on facebook or AIM. What matters is how she treats you. Yeah I think your definitely right. It really doesnt matter about fb and aim. In fact - I really do not get anything valuable out of facebook. lol. So i may just rid that soon. Anyways, yeah the NYE thing I think really is what set me off. It totally was just a bull * * * * story. Honestly I dont know how much longer its gonna last between us, Im done the stage where I feel like she's the only one for me. I know for a fact theres other girls out there who can A) treat me better and B) not act so immature about everything Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 you have waaaay too many problems with this girl. Link to comment
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