How to approach rebounds

[Sturmhouse]

If your EX is about to, or announces to you that she's in what is basically a rebound relationship, what is the best way to react?

 

I feel that if she dates the guy, that's ok, but if it gets intimate and physical that I will never be able to take her back. I want to play the cool customer and just be like, "Oh ok, he sounds like a sweet guy I hope you guys are happy."

 

But at the same time, I want her to know that if she does proceed with a rebound that, if (more like, when) it doesn't work out she won't be able to reconcile with me. In fact, she'll be losing me as a friend as well and will never hear from me again. Is this an appropriate thing to say? I know it may not be the most "attractive" thing and attraction is what gets your girl back, but I think if faced with an ultimatum like that she may actually THINK about what she's doing in the bigger picture and perhaps proceed a bit more cautiously.

[tin_tin]

If ex's were decent enough and cared about you at all. They shouldnt gloat or announce to you that there in a new relationship......but some do.

 

If i found out, I'd just react by doing and saying nothing at all.

 

Hell i dont think i could even deal with it if my ex started seeing somebody else soon after, it would eat me up!

 

Chances are some rebounds dont work. In some cases the dumper sometimes comes back to the dumpee, and realises they have made a mistake in letting them go. I've seen it happen a couple times.

[Sturmhouse]

I guess it's a GiG, then.

[Sturmhouse]

No, she hasn't told me. I suspect that she will - she messaged me last night and is in town and is probably going to get back to me today. Who knows, maybe she wants to give it another try - but I am suspecting and expecting the worst...Just wanting to know how best to deal with it IF that is the case.

[Robert013]

If she left you, it's not a rebound. If you left her it might be, but then you should try to attempt to reconcile if you feel this way.

 

 

Dumpers have rebounds also. If there is any emotional baggage from the previous relationship brought into the new one then it is considered a rebound whether you were the dumper or dumpee. If the previous relationship affects the new one in any way then it is a rebound.

 

I would recomend distancing yourself from your ex for a month or two. If you can stay in LC after that is fine but ask yourself if that is what you truly want? Or are you just jealous, or lonely. I would not tell her you couldn't take them back if they did it. This will just add fuel to the fire. The friendly and caring aproach will get there blood boiling because they are expecting you to be upset. When you do the oposit of what they expect it makes them think. Thinking is powerful.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No, do not say anything..it will come accross as an ultimatum..and what if you change your mind later on...in another words, if you make this grand announcement, she goes off on her rebound, realizes it was a big mistake and wants you back then if you change your line of thinking and take her back then your ultimatum was an empty threat. Ultimatums don't work...she will do what she wants to do regardless of what you say on the matter. Just leave it go. Wish her well and drop out of her life completely..no grant announcments...just disappear.