Raistlin Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 So I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. She's really great. 23 and ex military (retired due to medical reasons), she's funny, and we connect on a lot of levels. We went out last Saturday night and had an amazing time. We were out for over 8 hours! I asked her out again for tonight (earlier this week) and she mentioned that she noticed I didn't enjoy myself at dinner last week. I told her I was just nervous and she accepted that. Tonight, we met up and were talking for a while and it came to light that I am a very boring person. (Trust me, I really am) Running with that, I tried to be more sociable and fun this evening - but apparently I over did it. We were at dinner and supposed to go to a movie after, and she got very quiet. I asked what was wrong, and she said that I seemed like a completely different person from last week. She explained that it seemed like I flip-flopped from who I am to who I thought she wanted me to be. I just told her that I was trying to be more "fun", and I guess I took it too far and apologized. She then mentioned that she would like it if I took her home. On the way to drop her off, she noticed I was crestfallen and asked why. I told her that I was embarrassed for making an ass of myself, especially because I like how our relationship is going so far and felt that I blew my chance. She assured me that she is still interested in seeing me, and mentioned that I can make it up to her next time we go out. This sparked some hope in me, but she hasn't responded to any text messages since about 2 hours after I dropped her off. (She did mention having to go to bed early tonight for work tomorrow, but she didn't say good night like she usually does) I'm seriously upset now, and confused as to what I can do to try to fix this and make it up to her. Any advice? Link to comment
anonimo Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Just the fact that you are doing your part and sticking yourself out there speaks well of you man. If she said she is still interested, she probably is. Just chill and give her a day or so before texting her again. I'd wait like two days. Wish you the best bruh..... Link to comment
nurse1986 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 You should wait for her to call u. If she doesn't, then move on. Learn from your mistakes, they make you a better person. Link to comment
anonimo Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 You should wait for her to call u. If she doesn't, then move on. Learn from your mistakes, they make you a better person. Actually...that sounds like a good response too. Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 you shouldn't have texted her after the date. it seems a little desperate in my opinion. for now just relax, lay of the texting for the next couple of days, and let her come to you like the other posters said. if she doesn't contact you in three days, send her a "hey, whatsup" text and take it from there. if she doesn't seem very responsive then, sorry, it's time to cut your losses. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 i like all the responses so far and advice. don't sweat it too much. even though it feels like you "messed up" it probably isn't as bad as you think it is. at least u where making an effort. why do u think ur a boring person? i'm sure u have stuff to talk about. doesn't need to be about your day or what u did. lord knows nothing interesting happens in my life every day. but i still make convo by making jokes, talking about stuff i heard or read about, stuff which happened to me thru out the day.. or whatever. if she's into u she'll like it. just wondering: what exactly did u do that was a complete opposite of what u used to? put yourself in her shoes. i bet u wouldnt walk away from her just b/c she tried impress you? i'm sure she must be asleep. if i had to wake up early i'd be knocked out... regardless of who was texting me. i sleep right thru calls, texts.. even when people try and talk to me. Link to comment
Raistlin Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Normally, I'm slightly reserved and open up more when I'm passionate about a topic. I'm a great listener, and I do my best to slide in one-liners and dry, sarcastic humor to lighten up a conversation. I'm generally a serious person though, and I take a lot of things to heart. I'm fairly well educated, and can talk a little about a lot of things. Tonight though, I guess I wasn't listening to her that well, and I tried to control the conversation. (She did NOT say any of this, I discovered this through reflection) I was being rambunctious and not very smooth with what I thought was a joke... that she apparently didn't find funny. To answer your question though, no, I wouldn't be upset if she tried to impress me. I'd be flattered, tell her I like her how she is, and just go with the flow. I wouldn't necessarily end the date.. and I've been feeling horrible since. I sent her a text around 10pm, and normally she's in bed around midnight. Either she was ignoring me earlier (probably) or she went to bed earlier than I thought she would (maybe... she originally planned to be out with me until 9:30pm, but I took her home at around 6) Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 ah ok. well she does play hard to get at times from what i know. but most probably: she is just needing some time to reflect and "cool off" (not that you did anything HORRIBLE.. but she just needs some space now.) Link to comment
Raistlin Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 I don't know... I'm just stressing over a lot of things right now and it doesn't help to know that I can't even take a girl on a whole date. Kind of pathetic when you think about it. Link to comment
Davie Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I remember a girl I took out on a date. Real pretty girl she was. She barely talked for the whole thing. I asked her what was wrong at least 5 or 6 times... not so bluntly of course, just asking if she was ok! Well she seemed bored stiff throughout the whole thing! I tried my hardest, we saw a movie, got food, looked around the town, went shopping, went to a small cafe and had a drink (i had tea ^.^ ) Well she seemed really quiet throughout the entire thing. (This was my first time alone with the girl, having only got her number at a laserquest game the thursday week before that!) hahaha I feel like a dork. Ohh well Anyway, it seemed like I had blown it. I was bummed because she was (up until then) the prettiest girl I had ever dated! She was pretty damn cute.. Anyway, I said, would you like it if I took you home now? She said she didn't mind, (we got the train there) so we walked back to the train station, it started raining so we went into a little bar called Old Orleans (Guildford - Surrey - Uk) Anyway, I ordered a couple of pepsi's as neither of us felt like drinking and she sat there and oppologised that she'd been so quiet and said it was one of the nicest dates she'd ever been on and asked if she could kiss me! my moral level went from -10 to 999! hah! Anyway, the point is. One thing may appear bad, but things can turn out for the better. And I wasn't the best looking guy at the time either (not bad looking, but not good... if that makes sense) Anyway, I'd say the advice above is brilliant! Stick by it, I think she may call back if she said she was still interested Good luck mate! Link to comment
Sn0man Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Just remember this: You are who you are, and just be who you are when you're with her. Don't try to impress, don't try to be someone you're not. If she likes you for you - great!! If she doesn't, it's her loss. But don't pretend to be someone you're not. Women can see right through that facade...and they really don't like it. In fact, I think they dislike a facade more than an outright bad person. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I agree with the others-I would sit back and not contact her for a bit. Listen, worst case scenario is that she is no longer interested...and yeah that stings, but really, it's not the end of the world. I dated a girl twice, and made my mistake by moving too fast...saying too much-really liked her, but she broke it off. It wasn't pleasant for me-I hated it actually, but life goes on. I would give it a few days, contact her then, so at least you'll know how she feels, one way or another. Stinks to have to guess... Good luck! Link to comment
auburnslp Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 and I have to add one other thing. You say you are boring...this girl clearly disagrees, as she went on a sencond date with you, and then was apparently put off by you not being you! So that's the good news. Just be yourself from now on. There are so many women out there who will value you. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 and I have to add one other thing. You say you are boring...this girl clearly disagrees, as she went on a sencond date with you, and then was apparently put off by you not being you! So that's the good news. Just be yourself from now on. There are so many women out there who will value you. yea very true. you've been seeing her for some weeks now, and remained in contact. obviously you're so not boring, and she likes who you are.. before you tried to change it up. sounds like a good deal to me. hope u hear from her today. Link to comment
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