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Dumpers- Do you miss & think about your dumpees??.

mimijay

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alli Collaborator

alli

Posted
Posted

Honestly, no. But the relationship became quite bad towards the end. I never regretted it & I honestly don't think I ever missed him. I was suprisingly non sympathetic toward him, since I normally have empathy toward people.

 

Though occasionally you will see threads here about people regretting breaking up with someone. You won't know what your ex feels based on the responses to your thread. Everyone's different.

 

I do think about him occasionally but not in a way that would make anyone's heart melt.

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babii doll Enthusiast

babii doll

Posted
Posted

i just reconciled with my bf not too long ago, i broke up with him due to some key issues he wasnt willing to change at the time, i moved on but he was never far from my thoughts, the love was still there, love was never a problem, i thought about him everyday during NC.

 

he would call, email, text, endlessly and there was many moments i wanted to answer and had to refrain myself.

 

eventually i answered the phone, broke nc with him and now we've reconciled, but i dont think all dumpers are cold hearted and can erase an ex from their mind, im sure at some point they've thought about the dumpee.

 

there were alot of what if moments, thoughts of what couldve been the future had he been willing to change and work on the relationship. how much it hurt to love someone so much and to have no other option but to end it.

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tin_tin Rookie

tin_tin

Posted
Posted

Yes once

 

This is with the girl im having a tough time with at the moment. She broke it off after 3 years.

 

 

A year into our relationship, she had trust issues with me. Cut a long story short. I broke it off.

She would cry and be really upset. I remained friendly, and we would contact eachother every other day. I felt bad about keeping her waiting. She spilt her heart out to me. Told me id ripped her heart out and stomped all over it. Told me to hate her, and stop being matey with her. I wrote her a letter, and she wrote me one. Her parents thought we were very adult being friends. A month after, We went on a coach trip to a football game, we sat next to eachother, and on the way back we couldnt keep our hands off eachother.

 

Then i stepped back and thought to myself......"i actually miss being with her, i cant keep her hanging, i cant keep seeing her this upset"

 

We met up a few times after. I even ended up stayed round hers and we ended up sleeping together.........

 

We took it slow, went for drives in my car. Then we got back together. 2 months after i broke it off.

 

 

So in this case i did miss the dumpee.

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Seymore Mentor

Seymore

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Posted

Yes, I miss her, from time to time. But it had to happen. I'm not happy it had to come to this, but at the same time I felt relieved. She was not treating me right at all. It was for my own good, and if she learns from it, she will have the relationship she desires in life and it will be for her own good.

 

I hate that it had to happen, but if it didn't I might become a pretty terrible person myself, because it was starting to rub off on me.

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JT4266 Apprentice

JT4266

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I've been a "dumper" twice. The first time was a very bad relationship and although I sometimes thought about her I never missed her or regretted anything.

 

Its been over a year since my last breakup and I still love her - miss her every day and think about her all the time.

 

So it really depends on the circumstances of the breakup I suppose. If my ex had cheated on me or she had been somewhat abusive then I wouldn't care.

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shygirl1212 Contributor

shygirl1212

Posted
Posted

i ended my 8 year relationship, and while I was the "dumper" I felt like the "dumpee". The relationship ended because of a lot of hurt he caused me, deception, and fundamental things that he wasn't willing to take responsibility for.

 

It killed me when I ended it, and it killed me more that he didn't even try for "us".

 

It's been about 8 months NC now and I think of him every single day. I still love him dearly. Although I don't think it's healthy. I haven't moved on. I miss him. It's really tore me up and I'm a mess. I didn't want to admit this for a while...but here I am admitting that I'm broken.

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mr_m4x Contributor

mr_m4x

Posted
Posted
i ended my 8 year relationship, and while I was the "dumper" I felt like the "dumpee". The relationship ended because of a lot of hurt he caused me, deception, and fundamental things that he wasn't willing to take responsibility for.

 

It killed me when I ended it, and it killed me more that he didn't even try for "us".

 

It's been about 8 months NC now and I think of him every single day. I still love him dearly. Although I don't think it's healthy. I haven't moved on. I miss him. It's really tore me up and I'm a mess. I didn't want to admit this for a while...but here I am admitting that I'm broken.

 

This is a copy of my situation.

 

She basically cornered me and said that I had to break up with her because she wasn't going to do it. I was wasted. I am still recovering from that.

 

And these last 2 days have been very rough on me since I found out that she hasn't done anything to improve herself. I have cried a lot, I hadn't done that since 2 weeks after we broke up. It's been a little more than 3 months since we broke up. I know I shouldn't care but I can't help it.

 

I do think about her and miss her. A lot.

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ladybug726 Rookie

ladybug726

Posted
Posted

With the first guy I dumped, no. I fell out of love with him. I eventually pulled crappy ex-gf behavior and contacted him because I missed him as a friend. We had been best friends for about 5 years before we dated. We dated 2.5 years.

 

Another guy I dated... no. I dumped him after 6 months of dating after an argument. He was very confused because I just dumped him randomly and never looked back, but I wasn't in love with him anymore.

 

The other two that I dated (2+ years each) I did miss a LOT. But I dumped them because they treated me crappy, not because I wasn't in love with them anymore.

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littlestar Proficient

littlestar

Posted
Posted
Do dumpers miss the dumpees?.

 

do they think about them, miss them, regret thier decisions.

or once its over is it over?.

 

when you NC do they think about you or they just go off as per normal.

 

I miss my ex so much and think about him all the time. I do have some regrets regarding my decision to leave.

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kayamoyan Rookie

kayamoyan

Posted
Posted

I miss him a lot. He betrayed my trust so I dumped him. But at times, I'm the one who is acting like a dumpee. He emails me this loving letter about wanting me back. But when I call him, he rejects the call. Then he emails me on New Year's Eve. I have not responded. So we're each just hurting each other more and more.

 

Anyway to answer the question, if one is the dumper but were forced into it because of something terrible that your ex did, then yes, you think of them all the time if the love is still there. But if you dumped them because you fell out of love or met someone new then my guess is, you probably wont be looking back

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aWreck Rookie

aWreck

Posted
Posted

I do because I was forced into leaving the relationship because she wouldn't acknowledge any problems, and even refused to go to counseling. I didn't leave because I didn't love her, or for someone else, I just didn't have a choice if I wanted to stay sane. Still hurts and I still have those damned dreams.

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