sternship Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 ive been a long time NC (7 months) and i really haven't gone anywhere - i almost want to contact my ex more than ever. We split up cos we had a long distance relationship and i was irresponsible and found it hard to envisage a future for us mainly cos of my fear of giving up things for her and for my immaturity. Should i get back in touch? im not sure she wants to be with me or that she has a new b/f (i imagine so cos we actually broke up a year and a half ago) but i just can't get her out of my head. I mean, i feel like she has died by not speaking to her. do you think that just speakin to her a bit will help me?! please i need some advice. i see her online on msn now and am so tempted to talk to her it's unreal but i haven't so far.......please......help! Link to comment
FloatingAnchor Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I don't have advice but I'm curious to hear about your situation because I'm currently on the other side of it. Are you looking to get back together? Will it still be LDR, and if so, what made you decide to go forward? Link to comment
sternship Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 well i would love to get back together but i don't think she would..it would be LDR until i could get over there (i.e. the USA) but i think she wants it.....that's my problem.......i don't know........... Link to comment
FloatingAnchor Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I think you should contact her if you want to get back together. Be prepared that she may have moved on, though. You don't know if you want to move to the US? Link to comment
sternship Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 i suppose that is part of my fear but then i will never be able to move on if i think about it always i suppose............i would move to the US for her yeah but then i have spoken to her before about giving it another go (before really going NC) and she was all negative and said no.......i just wonder whether after all this time apart she might have changed her mind? i am also aware that she may have just forgotten about me completely. ah well. who knows.....you think i should try and be direct from the off or just talk to her first? Link to comment
FloatingAnchor Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Yes, I agree that you should give it a try or you'll always wonder, though it doesn't look promising after 7 long months of NC. Was she the one who broke things off? If so, and knowing that you wanted to give it another shot, she has had ample opportunity to contact you and restart things if she so chooses. You can try for casual conversation at first, but I think your motives will be obvious. Link to comment
sternship Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 i have already tried before and she said no.......i suppose i am just so damn scared of losing her completely i really don't know what to do.....is it better to be friends knowing that she is with someone else even if i want more than friends or is that plain torture? god i don't know......i just wish i could forget about her.....i thought 7 months NC might help but it has only done so much...........jeeez im so confused........... Link to comment
zenbabyk Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Contact her... If I were her, I would want to hear from you Link to comment
tomtommyboy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 If you split up a year and a half ago and then, after about a year (? I think from what you've said) she still didn't want to get back with you, I don't think 7 months NC is going to make any difference. I would also say the ball is in her court with this one - she's said no. She knows you're still out there; she can get in touch and try and reconcile if that's what she wants. I would try and find someone geographically nearer to you and pursue that. Believe me I know it's hard to move on (after 7 months NC I was still a bit of a mess), but as someone who's now 18 months, I'm VERY glad I didn't break it and that I have new romantic interests. Time will give you more perspective and you'll realise that she isn't the "one" (cos nobody is IMO...) I cried and cried and told everyone my ex was "the love of my life" and found all these "mistakes" I'd made, throwing it away, etc. All nonsense. We weren't right for each other, she'd just seen it first. If we were meant to be, we'd have been, I honestly believe that is true of any relationship. ALL that said...even if you do get in touch and it's not a nice experience...I guess the worst that'll happen is the message really sinks in for you. So either way, I think it'll work out. Getting in touch risks prolonging it though. Link to comment
sternship Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 yeah not sure i want to prolong it....i mean if she wanted to get in touch she could have done so herself right? But then you can go round in circles thinking "well, they haven't contacted me so I won't contact them" & vice versa and no-one contacts anyone. ..............god what to do Link to comment
rachel blond Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 yeah not sure i want to prolong it....i mean if she wanted to get in touch she could have done so herself right? But then you can go round in circles thinking "well, they haven't contacted me so I won't contact them" & vice versa and no-one contacts anyone. ..............god what to do First question would be...who was the dumper?? Link to comment
sternship Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 she dumped me. well i got back in touch and she was really glad to hear from me. we spoke on msn and i can see she enjoys our conversations. I'm gonna ask what she thinks about meeting up......i just can't handle speakin to her on msn and not seeing her in the flesh.......it's driving me insane.....maybe nothing will have changed.....but at least i have to try - you only learn from making mistakes and altho i admit it might not be the best thing to do.....i gotta do to put it to rest.....will keep u posted Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.