yourfaceinmanila Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I was engaged for a while up until 3 months ago when it all fell apart. So I've been going through that period of having to regain my confidence and I only started truly noticing other girls about a month ago. The last couple of weeks, me and a girl from work started flirting and I developed my first crush in a while. It was her birthday a couple of days ago and she made a point of inviting me out with all her (non-work) friends tonight. I was already in high demand so I said I'd stop by for one drink. It also gave me an excuse to do my thing and leave I did and for the entire, oooh, maybe fifteen minutes I was there she was glued to me (rather than the fifteen to twenty other friends there). I finished my drink, slammed it down on the bar, and as I gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye I told her I thought she was cute and that if she ever wanted to do something together she should let me know. I gave her a big smile, she had one too, and I left. So the ball's in her court now, right? I mean, we're friends on Facebook and she has my number but I don't have hers. Our jobs were only temporary so we don't work together anymore. I'm sure I just get on with things and if she's interested, she'll let me know. Right? Link to comment
alli Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Actually, the ball is in your court. She invited you last time, now it's your turn. It is understandable that you were busy but you really didn't stay long, so she might be uncertain of how interested you are in her. You invite her to something this time. edit- oh wait, you don't have her number? Alright then, send her a message on fb saying "thanks for inviting me, I had a good time even though I couldn't stay long. Did you have a good birthday?" then see how it goes... and get her phone number Link to comment
savignon Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 It sounds like she's interested ...I just would give the other perspective that maybe she knows your 3 months out of a very serious relationship and if it were me and a recently engaged guy left the ball in my court, I'd think he were forcing me to pursue him so that he was off the hook and can later say, "ummm, I'm not actually ready for this". So, if that's not the case, step up your game and ask her out so she doesn't have to wonder if you're still hung up on your ex (which you should seriously consider before getting involved with this girl) Best wishes! Link to comment
alli Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 It sounds like she's interested ...I just would give the other perspective that maybe she knows your 3 months out of a very serious relationship and if it were me and a recently engaged guy left the ball in my court, I'd think he were forcing me to pursue him so that he was off the hook and can later say, "ummm, I'm not actually ready for this". So, if that's not the case, step up your game and ask her out so she doesn't have to wonder if you're still hung up on your ex (which you should seriously consider before getting involved with this girl) Best wishes! I agree. And if you are looking only for casual dating (which I hope is what you are doing since your break up is quite recent) you need to tell her that if she doesn't already know. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I agree. And if you are looking only for casual dating (which I hope is what you are doing since your break up is quite recent) you need to tell her that if she doesn't already know. I wouldn't be blurting that out, she'll probably walk. Plus who knows, casual can turn into serious over time... Alli is right about the ball being in your court tho...She sounds interested from what you've wrote - ask for her # via facebook and give her a call! Link to comment
alli Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I wouldn't be blurting that out, she'll probably walk. Plus who knows, casual can turn into serious over time... Alli is right about the ball being in your court tho...She sounds interested from what you've wrote - ask for her # via facebook and give her a call! Well maybe not right away, but don't lead her on to believe you will probably be in a relationship if you know it is way too soon. I would personally be very ticked off if I was dating someone, everything was going great & then a couple months down the road they tell me they were recently engaged & they are completely unavailable for a relationship. I'd say 3 weeks from the time you first started "hanging out", she should be fully aware of the situation. Heck maybe she is just looking for casual dating as well. If this is even an issue. Link to comment
sunday13 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I would say ball is in your court. But, just take it nice and slow. It is awesome that you are dating again and getting crushes... but for your sake AND her sake, take it slow. I would send her a casual message on fb and invite her somewhere with you and your friends. Keep it simple and light-hearted for now. Link to comment
Ammy Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 No way, the ball is definitely in your court. She has shown clear interest, now you need to actually make a formal plan to meet up. I know most girls would not take the initiative and ask the guy out first. Ammy Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Wow, there was me thinking I'd let her know my intentions and I just had to sit back and see if she responded. Thanks everyone! So she's been on FB this morning and said she had a good night, I just responded by saying I wish I could have been there properly and made reference to a joke I made last night. I guess when she responds I should ask for a phone number or something?? Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Oh, and as for my engagement, most people at my work heard about it and knew that it happened, but they don't know the circumstances. For the record, the relationship broke down months before it ended. I'll make that clear to this girl, should I be lucky enough to get that far with her Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Three in a row from me. So this girl's response was to make a little joke about the joke I made. AND THAT'S IT. This makes me think that there's no interest back, or maybe she thought I was joking? So I have no idea what to say back, let alone HOW to say it. Any ideas? Link to comment
kerry123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Ok ok. stop right there over analysing. 99 per cent of girls really do want someone to come up like a knight on a white charger and sweep them off their feet (even if they don't admit it) I am a girl and i know that loads of heterosexual girls will pretend they disagree because of feminism etc, and i was well into feminism at uni, but having had many conversations with girls who are friends/work colleagues we really do want u to come and sweep us off our feet and be dominant in that way. at the end of the day i think it should at least initially the guy who chases the girl. Its the way its meant to be. so u only stayed for 15 mins at her birthday? this girl would seriously doubt your interest. I say just ask her out and be done with it. Just sweep her off her feet and be a man. She'll thank you for it, Link to comment
kerry123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I mean you can still ask her out in a casual way, not "please will you go out on a date with me?"....but something like "Hey was just thinking, there's this bar in town i've always meant to try, just wondered if you'd like to come and try it with me?" Good luck Link to comment
kerry123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 And then if she says yes and she goes with you to the bar, you can then ask if u can see her again and take it from there....u know the rest x Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Yeah I'm just gonna go for it... but over FB it's difficult. Do I just ask for a phone number out of the blue? Do I make reference to what I said so she knows it wasn't a joke? Once I have the number or I'm face to face I'm fine... but man, FB is lame. I don't want to seem like a faceless wimp, you know? Link to comment
kerry123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 No imo i don't think you need to ask for her number until she has shown interest in meeting up with you. If she agrees to meet then you can ask her for her number then. remember you are only casually asking her to go to a bar with u(if that's what u decide to do) and i would recommend it to be on fb so you don't have to do it in a very "formal" way just in a casual way and i know fb is a bit lame but in a way if u do it on fb it would be just like casually asking any friend to come to a bar for a drink and she would be more likely to say yes as it would not put too much pressure on her. Link to comment
kerry123 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 and no she won't think ur a faceless wimp Link to comment
Ammy Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Nothing wrong with asking her out over FB I don't think. Just go for it and see what happens! I agree with Kerry, you can ask for her number if she says yes to going out - then you can call to make the specific plans? Ammy Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 Okay I sent a message early this afternoon, and although she's been online since then I have no reply as yet. May have struck out with this one. Have to wait and see. Link to comment
addictedblue Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 so what happened? did you ask her out? Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 I sent her a message that said we should meet up sometime and maybe have a few drinks, especially as it would beat general unemployment (as we both lost our jobs last week). She was online for quite a bit after I sent it but I've had no response. My friend reckons she's playing it cool and leaving a day or two before replying. I guess I'll see; if she replies, awesome. If not, then she's silly and not worth my time anyway Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Anybody have thoughts? She hasn't tried to make contact since I asked her/told her/whatever on Friday. Before then, we'd talk most every day. She's either playing it cool, ignoring it, or perhaps hasn't read my message. No conclusions there at all. Link to comment
yourfaceinmanila Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 WHO LEAVES A WEEK TO REPLY? This girl evidently. Anyway, she said that drinks sound like fun and apologised profusely for her late reply. So I'll grab a phone number and take it from there Link to comment
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