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Feeling urge to break NC


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slendergreen... think back to before you even knew your ex. What did YOU like to do? Maybe bike riding, maybe singing, maybe playing horseshoes....whatever that thing was..."re-find" it.


I know...much easier said than done. Hang in there.


ps... I'm a grown woman that has a ton of coloring books. Gives the hands something to do when I want to pick up that phone!

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It always helped me to focus on the idea that my ex is moving on with her life, having fun, accomplishing things, etc. (didn't have to be true...I was in NC so I had no way of knowing) I would think about this in a competitive sense, such as "I'm not going to come out of this with her looking better or more put together than me" or "I'm not going to do what everyone expects me to do and wallow...I'm going to become better than I was before!"


People will tell you not to do things for or because of your ex, but let's face it, your mind is going to be pretty much consumed with them for a while, so why not try to use the momentum of that to your advantage. It may start as an attempt to get them back or make them regret their decision, but regardless of your intentions, making yourself the best you can be makes you feel good, and will go along way in helping you heal. Letting go of getting them back takes time, and you're probably not to that point yet, so just embrace your feelings and use them to your advantage.


Oh, and breaking NC will make you feel completely awful. BELIEVE ME. You'll probably have to find out for yourself, but I hope not. IT HURTS.

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I'm at 26 days of NC myself and this week has been extremely tough. Have had to fight the urge to call him because I know I will be in a lot more pain than I am right now. Try to go out and enjoy yourself with friends. It won't stop you from thinking about your ex but it is a way of starting to move on with your life. I know as Fitchik said "it's easier said than done". Any time that I get that strong urge and think that I won't be able to maintin NC, I get on here and vent my feelings. Having the support and kind words from people who are in the same place as you is comforting and it does help.

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when i feel like im going to crack... I type out everything I want to text ; ) and I hit send. I send it to one of my three best girlfriends... whom always has a clever response that will make me laugh and that always make me feel good.. Like I miss you too... Or you know I would feel the same about you only i dont swing that way. LOL its nice to be able to vent and hit that send button... and not have to regret what you did or break the no contact


Another thing I do, im sure we have all done it write the email/letter telling him you understand and that you know its not your fault and that it takes two and then you start to list all your faults and what you want to change... ya that one well I write it and i go through all the emotions, sometimes it takes a few days to complete it.. when Im done i send it too my girlfriends...and its nice because they proof read it check the spelling errors and even put stuff in it that i may have forgotten about and send it back when its all done. I print it shred it and then delete the saved copy in word!!


thats what helps me!! But please dont ever Choose your friend thats name is close to his in address book or in your phone..



good luck!!!!


oh ya and delete every text and ever picture you have of him or with him (thats a huge step)

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